Search my Quotes DataBase - Enter one or two keywords and/or author last name.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain




Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Daily Inspiration - Quotes to Live By
Inspiration  |  Motivational Articles  |  Being Strong  |  Being Positive  |  Links  |  About
Topics:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and ...
by Ambrose Bierce

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
- Ambrose Bierce

Related topics: Sports

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates
some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
- Ambrose Bierce

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
- Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master,
a mistress, and two slaves, making in all,
two.
- Ambrose Bierce

 

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils
his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
- Ambrose Bierce

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils,
as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
- Ambrose Bierce

Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and
disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
- Ambrose Bierce

Please sign-up for my Free Inspirational Daily Email on the form below.

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power
to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
- Ambrose Bierce

Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
- Ambrose Bierce

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
- Ambrose Bierce

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
- Ambrose Bierce

Mad, adj.
Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
- Ambrose Bierce

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
- Ambrose Bierce

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
- Ambrose Bierce

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels,
levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
- Ambrose Bierce

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather,
and exposing them to the critic.
- Ambrose Bierce

Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise
in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced.
- Ambrose Bierce

History is an account, mostly false,
of events,
mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers,
mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
- Ambrose Bierce

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit
without individual responsibility.
- Ambrose Bierce

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
- Ambrose Bierce

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
- Ambrose Bierce

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor
upon the business known as gambling.
- Ambrose Bierce

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -
who has no gills.
- Ambrose Bierce

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
- Ambrose Bierce

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify
we give the name of knowledge.
- Ambrose Bierce

Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins
lying about us pretty soon afterward.
- Ambrose Bierce

Absence blots people out.
We really have no absent friends.
- Ambrose Bierce

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful,
including what is ugly.
- Ambrose Bierce

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,
not as they ought to be.
- Ambrose Bierce

Who never doubted, never half believed.
Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
- Ambrose Bierce

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
- Ambrose Bierce

Bacchus, n.: A convenient deity invented by the ancients
as an excuse for getting drunk.
- Ambrose Bierce

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation
of denying himself a pleasure.
- Ambrose Bierce

Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
- Ambrose Bierce

Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.
- Ambrose Bierce

Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed
to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship.
- Ambrose Bierce

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of
putting dead animals into the mouth.
- Ambrose Bierce

Litigant.
A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
- Ambrose Bierce

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about
as large and wise as a man's head.
- Ambrose Bierce

The slightest acquaintance with history shows that
powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
- Ambrose Bierce

Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.
- Ambrose Bierce

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled
on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
- Ambrose Bierce

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
- Ambrose Bierce

Consul - in American politics, a person who having
failed to secure an office from the people is given
one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
- Ambrose Bierce

Doubt is the father of invention.
- Ambrose Bierce

What this country needs what every country needs occasionally
is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism
on which its existence as a nation depends.
- Ambrose Bierce

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
- Ambrose Bierce

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
- Ambrose Bierce

Architect.
One who drafts a plan of your house,
and plans a draft of your money.
- Ambrose Bierce

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish
for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
- Ambrose Bierce

Alliance - in international politics,
the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply
inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
- Ambrose Bierce

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
- Ambrose Bierce

Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that
white is the color that it appears to be.
It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
- Ambrose Bierce

Genius - to know without having learned;
to draw just conclusions from unknown premises;
to discern the soul of things.
- Ambrose Bierce

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
- Ambrose Bierce

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary
already sufficiently slippery.
- Ambrose Bierce

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict
accordance with the limitations and incapacities of
the human misunderstanding.
- Ambrose Bierce

Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest,
as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake,
a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
- Ambrose Bierce

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
- Ambrose Bierce

Witticism.
A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted;
what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
- Ambrose Bierce

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country.
What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.
- Ambrose Bierce

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors
in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
- Ambrose Bierce

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
- Ambrose Bierce

Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
- Ambrose Bierce

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French
in place of a state religion.
- Ambrose Bierce

Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
- Ambrose Bierce

Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit,
along the line of desire.
- Ambrose Bierce

Impiety.
Your irreverence toward my deity.
- Ambrose Bierce

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady;
in English a deadly poison.
A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
- Ambrose Bierce


Quotes and Sayings

---------


Thank you for visiting: Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and ... by Ambrose Bierce.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Quotes and Sayings.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


Sign-up to receive Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes
free via email

Daily inspirational quotes and motivational messages of self-worth, choice,
positive attitude, happiness, forgiveness, and gratitude.
Inspiring motivational sayings plus Jonathan's insights into life,
relationships, and joyful living.

Enter Your E-Mail Address:
Enter Your Name (what you want to be called):
To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.
Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.

Or Subscribe to the Feedburner feed for Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes.



All materials & writings are copyright ©. You may read about our disclaimer, our privacy policy, our copyright policy, terms of use, participation in affiliate programs, and the list of all our websites.