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America believes in education: the average professor
by Evan Esar

America believes in education: the average professor
earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
- Evan Esar

Related topics: Work

You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing
unreliable facts from reliable figures.
- Evan Esar

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices
unless she hasn't done it.
- Evan Esar

 

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie,
but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
- Evan Esar

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
- Evan Esar

A husband is like a fire - he goes out when unattended.
- Evan Esar

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A signature always reveals a man's character -
and sometimes even his name.
- Evan Esar

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
- Evan Esar

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
- Evan Esar

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
- Evan Esar

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
- Evan Esar

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.
- Evan Esar

Boxing has become America's tragic theater.
- Joyce Carol Oates

America cannot continue to lead the family of nations
around the world if we suffer the collapse of the family here at home.
- Mitt Romney

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Power in America today is control of the means of communication.
- Theodore White

In America there are two classes of travel -
first class,
and with children.
- Robert Benchley

I may be the only mother in America who knows exactly
what their child is up to all the time.
- Barbara Bush

America's present need is not heroics but healing;
not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution but restoration.
- Warren G. Harding

I get all fired up about aging in America.
- Willard Scott

I love America more than any other country in this world,
and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right
to criticize her perpetually.
- James A. Baldwin

In America, I would say New York and New Orleans are
the two most interesting food towns.
In New Orleans, they don't have a bad deli.
There's no mediocrity accepted.
- Mario Batali

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty.
I will belong to the select few.
- Will Rogers

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list
of the richest people in America.
If I'm not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben

September 11th was a moment when America had the sympathy of the world.
- Tom Ford

Radical changes in world politics leave America with
a heightened responsibility to be,
for the world, an example of a genuinely free,
democratic, just and humane society.
- Pope John Paul II

America has a critical role to play as the most powerful
member of the world community.
- Adam Schiff

As I've said many times, the single most oppressed
class in America right now is the teenager.
- Joe Bob Briggs

Patriotism is easy to understand in America.
It means looking out for yourself by looking out for your country.
- Calvin Coolidge

I think the greatest taboos in America are faith and failure.
- Michael Malone

I haven't, in the 23 years that I have been in the
uniformed services of the United States of America,
ever violated an order - not one.
- Oliver North

America is the best half-educated country in the world.
- Nicholas M. Butler

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things
no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving
America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney

If you're going to America, bring your own food.
- Fran Lebowitz

The largest party in America, by the way,
is neither the Democrats nor the Republicans.
It's the party of non-voters.
- Robert Reich

There are many men of principle in both parties in America,
but there is no party of principle.
- Alexis de Tocqueville

Pushing production out of America to nations without
our environmental standards increases global environmental risks.
- Frank Murkowski

The most censored speech in America today is not flag-burning,
pornography, or the press.
- Phyllis Schlafly

For an Italian peasant a telegram from anywhere is a wondrous thing;
and a cable from the terrestrial paradise of America
is not lightly to be disregarded.
- Howard K. Smith

Until 1956, America treated Israel not much differently
from other friendly states.
- George Ball

I travel the world, and I'm happy to say that America
is still the great melting pot -
maybe a chunky stew rather than a melting pot at this point,
but you know what I mean.
- Philip Glass

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
- Laurence J. Peter

Black power can be clearly defined for those who do
not attach the fears of white America to their questions about it.
- Stokely Carmichael

America stopped making vinyl and phased out the single
but Germany held out and refused.
Warner's never phased out vinyl in Germany.
Now America imports it!
- Peter Hook

Politics in America is the binding secular religion.
- Theodore White

America must be a light to the world,
not just a missile.
- Nancy Pelosi

The world must know that America holds to the highest
standards of military conduct and human rights protections.
Anything less is unacceptable.
- Barbara Mikulski

But I believe there is a decay that is eroding America,
and as a result, God begins to disappear from our society.
- Lee Greenwood

The people that are running the bulk of the comic shops
in North America aren't business people and they don't understand sales.
They don't understand good product.
- Rob Walton

I find America falling in love with a TV show flattering and interesting,
but at the same time a little sad.
- David Schwimmer

Sex.
In America an obsession.
In other parts of the world a fact.
- Marlene Dietrich

I think we're glazing eyes all across America.
- Ted Koppel

The media in America has become so cowed and compromised.
- John Sayles

Metal is still the biggest music now in America.
- Sebastian Bach

Wilson thought in terms of the whole world;
Harding was for America first.
And, finally, whereas Wilson wanted America to exert itself nobly,
Harding wanted to give it a rest.
- Frederick Lewis Allen

America faces a new race that has awakened.
- E. Franklin Frazier

The European brand of fascism will probably present
its most serious postwar threat to us via Latin America.
- Henry A. Wallace

I would like to do a part that would stretch me.
In America it seems to me that you just take your clothes off and that helps,
but I wouldn't want to do that.
- Courteney Cox

There are a lot of wonderful people in America who
shouldn't be on the Supreme Court -
and a lot who should be on the court who aren't such wonderful people.
- David Frum

We're shooting for the title of hardest-working band in America.
- Chester Bennington

America is not a blanket woven from one thread,
one color, one cloth.
- Jesse Jackson

I have no idea how I'm perceived in America because
I don't live the reality of America.
- Monica Bellucci

In Latin America, you don't do things for the money
because there is no money.
- Gael Garcia Bernal

I suppose if I wanted to be the girl next door,
I could have been.
I think America is confused by someone who appears
to be sexual and spiritual at the same time.
- Sally Kirkland

Our alliances and our credibility are crucial elements
of our working capital in advancing America's interests in the world,
and they have been eroded over the last four years.
- Patrick Leahy

Taking the entire globe, if North America and Western
Europe can be called the 'cities of the world',
then Asia, Africa and Latin America constitute 'the
rural areas of the world'.
- Lin Biao

First of all, when you live in a country like Canada,
it's quite different from America in the sense that
it's very tied to traditions that were born in Britain.
- Geddy Lee

It will be helpful in our mutual objective to allow
every man in America to look his neighbor in the face
and see a man-not a color.
- Adlai E. Stevenson

Only the guys who never made it and will never make it in the U.S.
need to put up the front that they don't care about America.
- Gavin Rossdale

If we want to secure the best jobs in the future,
we must make America the best place in the world to do business.
- Jim DeMint


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