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I asked him if he ever hung out with black guys ...
by Al Roker

I asked him if he ever hung out with black guys in high school and he said,
'Well, no.
They always had these angry looks on their faces.
Who wouldn't look ticked off having to deal with nitwits like him?
- Al Roker

In our society leaving baby with Daddy is just one
step above leaving the kids to be raised by wolves or apes.
- Al Roker

I love cooking for myself and cooking for my family.
- Al Roker

I was just thrilled to get the gig to begin with.
Ten years later to still have it is not only thrilling
but also somewhat of a puzzlement.
- Al Roker

 

Last year, when we were in Mobile, Al.,
covering Hurricane Ivan, we heard the stories of poor people,
many of them black stranded downtown because they had no way out.
- Al Roker

I have been blessed with working with the best in the business.
- Al Roker

My first college roommate greeted me with a shocked silence followed by,
'So...
you're black.'
- Al Roker

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Watching the scenes out of New Orleans,
if you turn down the sound it could be the Sudan or any Third World country.
But it's not.
it's the United States of America.
- Al Roker

A massive state and federal effort, the likes of which
we've never seen is going to be needed.
We can do it for tsunami victims half a world away.
We can do it for our own citizens.
- Al Roker

In the pregnancy process I have come to realize how
much of the burden is on the female partner.
She's got a construction zone going on in her belly.
- Al Roker

They wrapped her up like a baby burrito to show to Mom.
Here were a mother and her daughter and I love them both so much.
I couldn't wait for Courtney to come to the hospital
so I could have all my women together.
- Al Roker

I get bitter, angry and disbelieving and I tell my
kids there a lot of idiots out there.
I also want them to know that being successful is not the real world -
that their parents get treated better because they're on TV.
- Al Roker

When Courtney's mother and I first separated I tried to be Disney Dad,
showering her with gifts, trips and then I snapped out of it.
You don't have to try to impress your kids.
If they're not getting what they need from you,
they will let you know.
- Al Roker

The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was:
"If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?"
But... the good Samaritan reversed the question:
"If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Whenever you are asked if you can do a job,
tell 'em, Certainly I Can. -
and get busy and find out how to do it.
- Theodore Roosevelt

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

"How do you spell 'love'?" asked Piglet.
"You don't spell it...you feel it." answered Pooh.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

Nobody has ever asked the nuclear family to live
all by itself in a box the way we do.
With no relatives, no support,
we've put it in an impossible situation.
- Margaret Mead

"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.
"Even longer," Pooh answered.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

My husband melted my heart the day he asked me,
"Can I participate in your wonder?"
In whose wonder do you get to participate today?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

So you think that money is the root of all evil.
Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?
- Ayn Rand

Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and
I told him of course he could,
so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.
- Eric Morecambe

I am regularly asked what the average Internet user
can do to ensure his security.
My first answer is usually 'Nothing;
you're screwed'.
- Bruce Scheneier

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday,
so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.
- Guy Johnson

If I were asked to name the chief benefit of the house,
I should say: the house shelters day-dreaming,
the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace.
- Gaston Bachelard

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why.
- Bernard Baruch

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way
so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
- Emo Philips

All who call on God in true faith, earnestly from the heart,
will certainly be heard, and will receive what they have asked and desired.
- Martin Luther

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me,
"Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes."
- Steven Wright

When asked for your views, by the press or others,
remember that what they really want to know is the President's views.
- Donald Rumsfeld

They've asked me to do this temporarily.
I don't know what temporarily means.
Life is temporary.
- Bob Schieffer

Just before she died she asked, What is the answer? No answer came.
She laughed and said, In that case, what is the question? Then she died.
- Gertrude Stein

I have never once asked Alaskans to like how I got this job.
- Lisa Murkowski

One day, though, I was asked if I'd like to go to the
University of Florida and become a Gator.
- Jack Youngblood

I would think: Stay close to the implants!
They must know something because they keep getting asked backstage!
- Moon Unit Zappa

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage -
he shot both his parents and moved in.
- Bob Hope

I learned the songs and played the gigs,
and then they called me about a month later.
They told me they were like super stoked on me and
asked me to join their band.
- Travis Barker

Speak the truth, do not yield to anger;
give,
if thou art asked for little; by these three steps
thou wilt go near the gods.
- Confucius

Be able to decline a date so gracefully that the person
isn't embarrassed that he or she asked.
- Marilyn vos Savant

The National Academy of Sciences would be unable to
give a unanimous decision if asked whether the sun would rise tomorrow.
- Paul R. Ehrlich

I feel like I'm not smart enough to answer the questions I'm asked.
- Bret Easton Ellis

I was asked to be in Vogue but I said no.
I didn't want to advertise make-up.
I didn't want to be seen as a sex symbol.
- Francesca Annis

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband,
Fang.
How about short and cheap?
- Phyllis Diller

They had asked for me because they wanted a younger girl,
but Mum asked if she could bring Kylie along because
she didn't want there to be any jealously.
- Dannii Minogue

Then I would have an occasional cigarette and then I started back dipping.
I started dipping last year.
My family has asked me again to stop,
and I'm trying my best to do that.
- Payne Stewart

A lot of people have asked me how short I am.
Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.
- Mickey Rooney

CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein.
When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man,
Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'
- Conan O'Brien

We asked the workers to give up 25 percent of their salaries.
Imagine!
We asked the industrialists to freeze all costs,
no matter what the inflation is.
- Shimon Peres

What surprises me is when people give me their mobile number.
The other day, someone on a bus asked if I swear.
I said I try not to, but of course I'm just a normal person.
- Christopher Parker

I have to be asked, I guess, but I love the idea of marriage.
I think it's beautiful.
I'm such a romantic, and I always have been.
- Portia de Rossi

I was in Asia and people asked me about being considered sex symbol.
I don't know if that's good or not, because where I come from,
sex isn't something you're allowed to talk about.
- Bai Ling

When George asked me to be the prequels,
it was the same kind of meeting - it was very short and to the point.
It was nice to see him after a long time,
and we met in a hotel room.
- Ian McDiarmid

Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed
to become to fulfill his destiny.
- Paul Tillich

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your
chest if you asked directions somewhere?
- Erma Bombeck

I understand that if you set out to be a celebrity,
then you asked for it, but all I wanted to be was an actor.
- Gwyneth Paltrow

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering
questions that no one has asked them.
- Leo Tolstoy

I feel safe in saying this, and that is that Peter
Weir is without a doubt one of the greatest filmmakers of all time.
I'd open a door in a movie for him if he asked me to.
- Paul Bettany

When people have asked if I'd like to go in the Shuttle,
I said you don't get to fly it, except for landing,
which I'd love to do.
I wouldn't go unless I could command it.
- Wally Schirra

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana.
I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later,
so...
yeah.'
- Mitch Hedberg

Shortly after that, we got management problems over in England,
and Judas Priest asked me to join.
- Glenn Tipton

Michelle Obama was asked when life begins.
According to her it's when she and Barack take over the White House.
- Evan Sayet

If they asked me, I did two shifts.
I did sports, I did news, because I loved it.
- Larry King

I have to laugh internally when I'm asked in interviews
what nightspots I like to hit.
I just don't have answers...
so sometimes I make them up.
- Wentworth Miller

If you interviewed 1,000 politicians and asked about
whether the media's too soft or too hard,
about 999 would say too hard.
- Bob Woodward

I swear to God, I would marry the first person who asked me,
just because it seems so completely impossible that anyone would ask.
- Minnie Driver

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

And they asked me to take a polygraph as to the allegations and reports I'd made.
I volunteered and I took the polygraph and passed it without a glitch.
- Sibel Edmonds


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