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The average pencil is seven inches long,
by Robert Brault

The average pencil is seven inches long,
with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.
- Robert Brault

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

The object of most prayers is to wangle an advance on good intentions.
- Robert Brault

 

Count no day lost in which you waited your turn,
took only your share and sought advantage over no one.
- Robert Brault

Looking back you realize that a very special person
passed briefly through your life-
and it was you.
It is not too late to find that person again.
- Robert Brault

Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret,
for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
- Robert Brault

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Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

The average American is nothing if not patriotic.
- Herbert Croly

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at
seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
- Jean Kerr

America believes in education: the average professor
earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
- Evan Esar

What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant
intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
- Sigmund Freud

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

Under the Environmental Protection Agency's Energy Star Program,
homes are independently verified to be measurably more
energy efficient than average houses.
- Melissa Bean

We are just an advanced breed of monkeys
on a minor planet of a very average star.
But we can understand the Universe.
That makes us something very special.
- Stephen Hawking

I am regularly asked what the average Internet user
can do to ensure his security.
My first answer is usually 'Nothing;
you're screwed'.
- Bruce Scheneier

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

A fairly bright boy is far more intelligent and far
better company than the average adult.
- John B. S. Haldane

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

It is the rank and file - the average woman -
for whom the world has opened up so astonishingly.
- Mary A. Ward

I was stranded in Disco.
I went to dozens of darkened places with enough flashing
lights to drive the average person mad.
I felt lost in the pulse of sheer panic.
- Martha Reeves

When you're average, you're just as close to the bottom as you are the top.
- Alfred North Whitehead

I personally think that we can win the World Cup.
We are improving with every game.
With such a young average age in the squad we can only carry on improving.
- Ruud van Nistelrooy

I'm intimidated by the fear of being average.
- Taylor Swift

The average man is more interested in a woman who is
interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs.
- Marlene Dietrich

According to USA today, the average length of an attention
span of a man in America is 23 minutes.
- Robert Fripp

The average user doesn't give a damn what happens,
as long as (1) it works and (2) it's fast.
- Daniel J. Bernstein

The average gardener probably knows little about what
is going on in his or her garden.
- Ken Thompson

Both politicians and journalists face situations which
strain their honesty and humanity.
My opinion is that politicians on the average stand
up somewhat better than journalists.
- John McCarthy

We care little about what the average citizen thinks.
- Tom Metzger

Unquestionably, there is progress.
The average American now pays out twice as much in
taxes as he formerly got in wages.
- H. L. Mencken

Over the last couple of years I have gotten an average
of 2,000 letters a week from fans.
- Davy Jones

The death tax punishes the American dream -
making it virtually impossible for the average American
family to build wealth across generations.
- Kit Bond

Every superior personality, and every superior performance,
has, for the average of mankind, something mysterious.
- Georg Simmel

Each of the seventeen tribunals during a long period burned annually,
on an average, ten miserable beings!
- John Foxe

I've always said when I broke in I was an average player.
I had an average arm, average speed and definitely an average bat.
I am still average in all of those.
- Brooks Robinson

Our growing, robust economy is able to provide the
average American citizen access to the best social program there is -
a steady job.
- J. D. Hayworth

Wal-Mart hires average people but squeezes above average
performance and results out of them.
- Michael Bergdahl

On average, Australians watch more than three hours of television a day,
compared with 12 minutes a day spent by the average
couple talking to each other.
- Hugh Mackay

Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.
- Burt Reynolds

Today it has been estimated that the average 70 year
old has four chronic conditions and consumes an average
of 35 PBS scripts per year for those conditions.
- Julie Bishop

Then came a big strike.
About 100 girls went out.
The result was a victory, which netted us -
I mean the girls -
$2 increase in our wages on the average.
- Rose Schneiderman

Because of her interest and demands,
I amplified an average baritone voice into one that is loud and clear.
- Johnny Olson

So many people comment that I'm much more mature than average.
In this business, you can get taken advantage of if
you're not aware and you're not tough.
- Amanda Bynes

Good management consists in showing average people
how to do the work of superior people.
- John D. Rockefeller

The upward course of a nation's history is due in the
long run to the soundness of heart of its average men and women.
- Elizabeth II

I'm your average Joe guy.
I don't really care for politicians.
- John Mellencamp

I've always had a problem with the average macho man -
they've always been a threat to me.
- Kurt Cobain

Tall, sandy blonde, with sort of blue eyes,
skinny in places, fat in others.
An average gal.
- Uma Thurman

The average housewife goes to the restaurant to relax and enjoy the food.
But when Eva walks in, she becomes the center of attention.
- Eva Gabor

Actually, I think the average voice is like 70 percent
tone and 30 percent noise.
My voice is 95 percent noise.
- Harvey Fierstein

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as
wise as the average woman of forty-eight.
- H. L. Mencken

If you know what you are going to write when you're writing a poem,
it's going to be average.
- Derek Walcott

Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average.
His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some
part or other and to a greater or lesser extent.
- Sigmund Freud

The hardest struggle of all is to be something different
from what the average man is.
- Robert H. Schuller

Every three days on average, I am alone on stage,
facing the public.
- Placido Domingo

I write for a certain sphere of readers in the United
States who on average watch seven and a half hours
of multichannel television per day.
- Jerzy Kosinski

In a high school, the norms act to hold down the achievements
of those who are above average,
so that the school's demands will be at a level easily
maintained by the majority.
- James S. Coleman

When interest rates are high you want the average direction
in which interest rates are moving to be downward;
when interest rates are low you want the average direction to be upward.
- John Hull

Many highly intelligent people are poor thinkers.
Many people of average intelligence are skilled thinkers.
The power of a car is separate from the way the car is driven.
- Edward de Bono

Do a little bit more than average and from that point
on our progress multiplies itself out of all proportion to the effort put in.
- Paul J. Meyer

I learned that kids in show business are so different from regular,
average students.
They would gather behind you and help you to succeed in any way possible.
- Wally George

I just want to be treated like an average guy.
- John Fahey

The first trip of the Pony Express was made in ten days -
an average of two hundred miles a day.
But we soon began stretching our riders and making better time.
- Buffalo Bill

If you are only doing what you are getting paid for,
and doing it no better than the average employee,
then your pay is most likely right where it should be.
- Bo Bennett

The average person's ear weighs what you are,
not what you were.
- Francis Quarles


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