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The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price,
by Doug Coupland

The capacity for not feeling lonely can carry a very real price,
that of feeling nothing at all.
- Doug Coupland

It's very strange that most people don't care if their
knowledge of their family history only goes back three generations.
- Doug Coupland

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that
you have too much free time.
- Doug Coupland

If cats were double the size they are now,
they'd probably be illegal.
- Doug Coupland

 

People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families.
The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.
- Doug Coupland

Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever
lasts for very very long.
- Doug Coupland

A ring is a halo on your finger.
- Doug Coupland

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Figure out what it is in life you don't do well,
and then don't do it.
- Doug Coupland

People will always choose more money over more sex.
- Doug Coupland

Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change
who they are simply by moving to a different place.
Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing.
- Doug Coupland

If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive.
- Doug Coupland

In our heads we're all about 33 years old.
- Doug Coupland

Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself,
as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found.
- Doug Coupland

Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs.
They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment,
leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy.
- Doug Coupland

We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.
- Doug Coupland

Thinking you're immortal is weirdly similar to being immortal.
- Doug Coupland

If your life had lyrics, would they be any good?
- Doug Coupland

You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life
which you should be bringing about by yourself.
- Doug Coupland

Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs.
It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without
even the thrill of it actually being meat.
- Doug Coupland

Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.
- Doug Coupland

If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have
to bury it down deep within us.
- Doug Coupland

A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection,
it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.
- Doug Coupland

Purchased experiences don't count.
- Doug Coupland

Sometimes it feels as if everything in life is just
something we haul into the grave.
- Doug Coupland

Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back.
Loaning books is the same as giving them away.
- Doug Coupland

Everybody has basically the same family,
it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next.
- Doug Coupland

Depression is when you have lots of love,
but no one's taking.
- Doug Coupland

Star Trek characters never go shopping.
- Doug Coupland

Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone.
The English do, and it's been their only major business
advantage for the past two centuries.
- Doug Coupland

Every single moment is a coincidence.
- Doug Coupland

You can never become rich unless you like rich people.
- Doug Coupland

Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth
get things handed to them on platters.
- Doug Coupland

What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?
- Doug Coupland

New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108.
- Doug Coupland

Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never
become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you.
- Doug Coupland

Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes
you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are.
- Doug Coupland

The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.
- Doug Coupland

The modern economy isn't about the redistribution of wealth,
it's about the redistribution of time.
- Doug Coupland

The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents,
the more quickly you become them.
- Doug Coupland

There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream.
- Doug Coupland

The person who needs the other person the least in
a relationship is the stronger member.
- Doug Coupland

Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.
- Doug Coupland

It's difficult to speak with beautiful people.
No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise,
you still want them to like you.
- Doug Coupland

On TV people look at your hair and then they look at your skin,
and then they look at your clothes, and by the time
they're listening to what you're saying,
you're off the screen.
- Doug Coupland

I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock.
- Doug Coupland

Every human being you see in the course of a day has
a problem that's sucking up at least 70 percent of his or her radar.
- Doug Coupland

A man in a bookstore buys a book on loneliness and
every woman in the store hits on him.
A woman buys a book on loneliness and the store clears out.
- Doug Coupland

You spend a much larger part of your life being old,
not young.
- Doug Coupland

Gap clothing allows you to look like you're from nowhere and anywhere.
- Doug Coupland

Before machines the only form of entertainment people
really had was relationships.
- Doug Coupland

Unhappiness is something we are never taught about;
we are taught to expect happiness,
but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.
- Doug Coupland

Where does personality end and brain damage begin?
- Doug Coupland

We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.
- Doug Coupland

If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what,
a tree hater?
- Doug Coupland

Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day,
but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories,
they die.
Serves them right.
- Doug Coupland

Ten commandments yet seven deadly sins:
conflict?
- Doug Coupland

Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living.
- Doug Coupland

If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories
where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made,
I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil.
- Doug Coupland

I find it hard to believe that human beings are the
crowning achievement of life on earth.
Something better than us has to come along.
- Doug Coupland

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.
- Doug Coupland

Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents
you from getting what you want.
- Doug Coupland

Everybody past a certain age, regardless of how they look on the outside,
pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives.
- Doug Coupland

Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos.
- Doug Coupland

If human beings had genuine courage,
they'd wear their costumes every day of the year,
not just on Halloween.
- Doug Coupland

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap.
It's a total turn-off.
- Doug Coupland

I think money is due for some sort of collapse.
People are going to realize that money has a half-life,
like radioactive elements.
- Doug Coupland

When you crop the photo, you tell a lie.
- Doug Coupland

Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the
subject that clears out a room.
- Doug Coupland

Earth was not built for six billion people all running
around and being passionate about things.
The world was built for about two million people foraging for roots and grubs.
- Doug Coupland

I like doing radio because it's so intimate.
The moment people hear your voice, you're inside there heads,
not only that, you're in there laying eggs.
- Doug Coupland

Technology favors horrible people.
- Doug Coupland


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