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Comedy is acting out optimism. ...
by Robin Williams

Comedy is acting out optimism.
- Robin Williams

Carpe per diem - seize the check.
- Robin Williams

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
- Robin Williams

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying,
'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.'
She's got a baseball bat and yelling,
'You want a piece of me?'
- Robin Williams

 

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
- Robin Williams

We have a president for whom English is a second language.
He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,'
but he's pretty much one himself.
- Robin Williams

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
- Robin Williams

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We had gay burglars the other night.
They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
- Robin Williams

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
- Robin Williams

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
- Robin Williams

People say satire is dead.
It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
- Robin Williams

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
- Robin Williams

You're only given a little spark of madness.
You mustn't lose it.
- Robin Williams

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that
someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
- Robin Williams

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
- Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce...
from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Robin Williams

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so...
look at the platypus.
- Robin Williams

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows
remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
- Robin Williams

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was...
a large Arctic region covered with ice.
- Robin Williams

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
- Robin Williams

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
- Robin Williams

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms,
not to bear artillery.
- Robin Williams

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business
ethics is like having a leper give you a facial,
it just doesn't work!
- Robin Williams

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
- Robin Williams

Never pick a fight with an ugly person,
they've got nothing to lose.
- Robin Williams

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
- Robin Williams

We've had cloning in the South for years.
It's called cousins.
- Robin Williams

Reality: What a concept!
- Robin Williams

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars,
just intense negotiations every 28 days.
- Robin Williams

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
- Robin Williams

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time.
- Robin Williams

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
- Robin Williams

Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho

Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
- Mark Twain

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

Comedy has to be based on truth.
You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.
- Sid Caesar

Comedy, we may say, is society protecting itself -
with a smile.
- J. B. Priestley

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool,
a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.
- Sholom Aleichem

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Peter Ustinov

My family's always been really funny.
I feel like comedy's hard.
I feel like it's so important.
- Christine Taylor

It's a very tough time for the playwright.
Broadway has become almost a musical comedy theme park
with all these long-running shows.
- John Lithgow

All the jokes in my films, the comedy,
they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
- Yahoo Serious

I think that you can fall into bad habits with comedy...
It's a tightrope to stay true to the character,
true to the irony, and allow the irony to happen.
- Ben Kingsley

Comedy.
It was just huge in my house.
Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness, Monty Python and all
those James Bond movies were highly regarded.
- Mike Myers

I value comedy.
I value somebody who can be funny.
- James L. Brooks

I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom,
so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide
you wanted to be a comic,
and on Monday, you could be on stage.
- Todd Barry

At times we were criticized for doing too much slapstick.
I don't believe in mild comedy, and neither does Lucy.
- Desi Arnaz

I had a flair for comedy and could give a sustained performance.
- Jessie Matthews

I basically did comedy there for about a year,
and then moved to New York.
If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself
on the road for at least a year.
- Todd Barry

But in terms of satire and comedy, our biggest and
earliest influence was Mad magazine.
- Jerry Zucker

If a movie isn't a hit right out of the gate,
they drop it.
Which means that the whole mainstream Hollywood product
has been skewed toward violence and vulgar teen comedy.
- Roger Ebert

I love romantic comedy, but I think you have to have
another idea that you're chasing along with romantic comedy.
- James L. Brooks

In a comedy it helps enhance things that were already there.
- Ivan Reitman

With comedy I can search for the profound.
- Dario Fo

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family,
is that my comedy is so important to me.
So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.
- Adam Sandler

Well my biggest dream is to be in a romantic comedy.
- Izabella Scorupco

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up,
but a comedy in long-shot.
- Charlie Chaplin

Especially when you deal with comedy,
you have got to be really honest because it's the honesty
and the spontaneity that causes people to chuckle,
that catches people.
- Austin Peck

I'd love to do acting, but it'd definitely have to be comedy.
I can't do serious.
It's completely beyond me.
- Allan Carr

I don't devalue comedy as compared to drama.
Not one bit.
- Ben Stiller

I'd like to do a comedy with Emma Thompson.
I admire her as an actress so much.
I love her.
And I didn't know it until recently that her whole
career started in comedy.
- Gene Wilder

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy.
Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops,
and you're the one who has to fix it!
- Jon Stewart

Life is a tragedy for those who feel,
but a comedy to those who think.
- Horace Walpole

I'm really not feeling one way or the other with comedy or drama,
I'm just sort of doing projects that I've been finding
really fun to be a part of.
- John Krasinski

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say,
'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
- Susan Sarandon

The day of the wedding went like these things generally do,
full of anxious moments interspersed with black comedy.
- Janet Street-Porter

Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor.
- Brittany Daniel

Our first gig was a battle of the bands.
We did 45 minutes of comedy and never played a note -
and we won!
- Cheech Marin

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about
show business and a lot about life from Carl.
- Dick Van Dyke


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