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Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer. ...
by Alan Perlis

Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer.
- Alan Perlis

In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is
a living definition of the word "frustration".
- Alan Perlis

If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.
- Alan Perlis

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
- Alan Perlis

 

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm.
- Alan Perlis

I think it is inevitable that people program poorly.
Training will not substantially help matters.
We have to learn to live with it.
- Alan Perlis

A programming language is low level when its programs
require attention to the irrelevant.
- Alan Perlis

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There are two ways to write error-free programs;
only the third one works.
- Alan Perlis

Is it possible that software is not like anything else,
that it is meant to be discarded: that the whole point
is to always see it as a soap bubble?
- Alan Perlis

Don't have good ideas if you aren't willing to be responsible for them.
- Alan Perlis

Some programming languages manage to absorb change,
but withstand progress.
- Alan Perlis

Fools ignore complexity.
Pragmatists suffer it.
Some can avoid it.
Geniuses remove it.
- Alan Perlis

You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting
his attitude on the continuing vitality of FORTRAN.
- Alan Perlis

LISP programmers know the value of everything and the cost of nothing.
- Alan Perlis

The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland";
but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
- Alan Perlis

Simplicity does not precede complexity,
but follows it.
- Alan Perlis

It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.
- Alan Perlis

We toast the Lisp programmer who pens his thoughts
within nests of parentheses.
- Alan Perlis

If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program,
wake him up.
- Alan Perlis

A picture is worth 10K words - but only those to describe the picture.
Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately described with pictures.
- Alan Perlis

It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
- Alan Perlis

The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
- Alan Perlis

In English every word can be verbed.
Would that it were so in our programming languages.
- Alan Perlis

If you have a procedure with 10 parameters,
you probably missed some.
- Alan Perlis

One man's constant is another man's variable.
- Alan Perlis

Every program has two purposes: The one for which it
was written and another for which it wasn't.
- Alan Perlis

It goes against the grain of modern education to teach students to program.
What fun is there to making plans, acquiring discipline,
organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail,
and learning to be self critical.
- Alan Perlis

Anyone who has lost track of time when using a computer
knows the propensity to dream,
the urge to make dreams come true and the tendency to miss lunch.
- Tim Berners-Lee

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has,
we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1000 MPG.
- Bill Gates

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up.
You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who
claim they are treating pregnant men.
- Isaac Asimov

I'm a '70s mom, and my daughter is a '90s mom.
I know a lot of women my age who are real computer freaks.
- Florence Henderson

Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
- Edsger Dijkstra

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that,
once it is competently programmed and working smoothly,
it is completely honest.
- Isaac Asimov

I wouldn't know how to find eBay on the computer if my life depended on it.
- Marc Jacobs

The power of the computer is starting to spread.
- Bill Budge

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club.
You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
- Erma Bombeck

It was a black and white only computer at the time,
but it kept me fascinated.
- Buffy Sainte-Marie

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things
no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving
America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.
- Steve Wozniak

You couldn't have fed the '50s into a computer and come out with the '60s.
- Paul Kantner

One of the most feared expressions in modern times
is 'The computer is down.'
- Norman Ralph Augustine

The protean nature of the computer is such that it
can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited.
- Alan Kay

There's a lot of music that sounds like it's literally computer-generated,
totally divorced from a guy sitting down at an instrument.
- Aimee Mann

Personally, I rather look forward to a computer program
winning the world chess championship.
Humanity needs a lesson in humility.
- Richard Dawkins

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as
frustrating as reading manuals without the software.
- Arthur C. Clarke

To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer.
- Dan Rather

The only legitimate use of a computer is to play games.
- Eugene Jarvis

The question of whether a computer can think is no
more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
- Edsger Dijkstra

A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen,
is that you can take it to bed with you.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

I'm too old-fashioned to use a computer.
I'm too old-fashioned to use a quill.
- Christopher Plummer

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
- Paul R. Ehrlich

The basis of computer work is predicated on the idea
that only the brain makes decisions and only the index finger does the work.
- Brian Eno

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper.
About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer
is garbage that no one ever reads.
- Andy Rooney

No one ever said on their deathbed, 'Gee,
I wish I had spent more time alone with my computer'.
- Danielle Berry

I got up with my wife, I sat down at the computer when she went to work,
and I didn't stop until she got home.
- George Stephen

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
- Emo Philips

I should prefer to have a politician who regularly
went to a massage parlour than one who promised a laptop
computer for every teacher.
- A. N. Wilson

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly
for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
- Dave Barry

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
- Ken Olsen

Bill Gates is the pope of the personal computer industry.
He decides who's going to build.
- Larry Ellison

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
- Emo Philips

The computer is a moron.
- Peter Drucker

I started on an Apple II, which I had bought at the
very end of 1978 for half of my annual income.
I made $4,500 a year, and I spent half of it on the computer.
- Bill Budge

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
- Robert Orben

I work full-time in a used bookstore.
I get up.
I drink a cup of coffee.
I think, The last thing I want to do is write.
Then I go to the computer and write.
- Kate DiCamillo

I think computer viruses should count as life.
I think it says something about human nature that the
only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive.
We've created life in our own image.
- Stephen Hawking

There may be writing groups where people meet but it's occasional.
You really do it all at your own computer or your own typewriter by yourself.
- Anne Rice

In some industry markets, high quality can be tied to making more money,
but I am sure by now all of us know the computer industry is not like that.
- Theo de Raadt

We are beginning to see intimations of this in the
implantation of computer devices into the human body.
- Ray Kurzweil

I am severely distracted these days.
It's hard to sit in front of the computer,
uploading bad music for hours, when you have a wonderful
boyfriend who treats you like a Goddess.
- April Winchell

After all, just one virus on a computer is one too many.
- Glenn Turner


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