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My Father had a profound influence on me.
by Spike Milligan

My Father had a profound influence on me.
He was a lunatic.
- Spike Milligan

Related topics: Funny

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
- Spike Milligan

I have the body of an eighteen year old.
I keep it in the fridge.
- Spike Milligan

 

I can speak Esperanto like a native.
- Spike Milligan

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light,
but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait
until Thursday to be connected.
- Spike Milligan

I shook hands with a friendly Arab.
I still have my right arm to prove it.
- Spike Milligan

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Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Spike Milligan

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing
until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.
- Spike Milligan

I'm a hero with coward's legs.
- Spike Milligan

It was a perfect marriage.
She didn't want to and he couldn't.
- Spike Milligan

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No,
it's all in perfect working order.
- Spike Milligan

It's all in the mind, you know.
- Spike Milligan

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand.
Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.
- Spike Milligan

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare,
but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.
- Spike Milligan

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?
- Spike Milligan

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you
a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
- Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
- Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
- Spike Milligan

Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

So your father, or your mother,
never thought you were good enough - SO WHAT?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a father gives to his son, both laugh;
when a son gives to his father, both cry.
- William Shakespeare

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards
than being a father to my children.
- Bill Cosby

The most important thing a father
can do for his children
is to love their mother.
- Henry Ward Beecher

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
- William Shakespeare

It doesn't matter who my father was.
It matters who I remember he was.
- Anne Sexton

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

My father considered a walk among the mountains
as the equivalent of churchgoing.
- Aldous Huxley

If my father had hugged me even once,
I'd be an accountant right now.
- Ray Romano

No matter how old we become, we can still call them
'Holy Mother' and 'Father' and put a child-like trust in them.
- Desmond Morris

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children,
except in self-defense.
- Fred Allen

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.
- E. B. White

I decided in my life that I would do nothing that did
not reflect positively on my father's life.
- Sidney Poitier

It was my father who taught me to value myself.
He told me that I was uncommonly beautiful and that
I was the most precious thing in his life.
- Dawn French

My father wouldn't get us a TV, he wouldn't allow a TV in the house.
- Janis Joplin

When a father, absent during the day,
returns home at six, his children receive only his temperament,
not his teaching.
- Robert Bly

I grew up not liking my father very much.
I never saw him cry.
But he must have.
Everybody cries.
- Charley Pride

Middle age is the awkward period when Father Time starts
catching up with Mother Nature.
- Harold Coffin

A true king is neither husband nor father;
he considers his throne and nothing else.
- Pierre Corneille

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.
- H. G. Wells

Being a father to my family and a husband is to me
much more important than what I did in the business.
- Tom Bosley

I wasn't anything special as a father.
But I loved them and they knew it.
- Sammy Davis, Jr.

No, I never thought about my father's money as my money.
- Christie Hefner

My father was the most rational and the most dispassionate of men.
- Simon Newcomb

I'm a father.
It isn't just my life any more.
I don't want my kid finding bottles in the house or
seeing his father completely smashed.
- Billie Joe Armstrong

My father used to sing to me in my mother's womb.
I think I can name about any tune in two beats.
- Yancy Butler

I know that I will never find my father in any other
man who comes into my life,
because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him.
- Halle Berry

I made a decision when my father passed away that I
was going to be who God made me to be and not try to preach like my father.
- Joel Osteen

My father was an Episcopalian minister,
and I've always been comforted by the power of prayer.
- Anna Lee

The most important influence in my childhood was my father.
- DeForest Kelley

An angry father is most cruel towards himself.
- Publilius Syrus

So my father was a person who never lied to me.
If I had a question, he answered it.
I knew a lot of things at a young age because I was intrigued.
- Nick Cannon

I have a lot of very close girlfriends and sisters -
I'm from an all female family.
My father often quips that even the cat was neutered!
- Shirley Manson

I hope I am remembered by my children as a good father.
- Orson Scott Card

The patriot blood of my father was warm in my veins.
- Clara Barton

When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb.
After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to
find out how much he'd learned in three years.
- Frank Butler

A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be,
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
- Frank Howard Clark

Being a father helps me be more responsible...
you see more things than you've ever seen.
- Kid Rock

Thirteen, 13 children, and I love - I love them all.
And I think I've been a good father to all of them.
- Anthony Quinn

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person,
he believed in me.
- Jim Valvano

It is easier for a father to have children than for
children to have a real father.
- Pope John XXIII

But I have to be careful not to let the world dazzle
me so much that I forget that I'm a husband and a father.
- Herbie Hancock

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain

Our Father and Our God, unto thee, O Lord we lift our souls.
- William Pennington

I'm a fun father, but not a good father.
The hard decisions always went to my wife.
- John Lithgow

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he
does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
- Bill Cosby

It is my feeling that Time ripens all things;
with Time all things are revealed; Time is the father of truth.
- Francois Rabelais


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