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Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. ...
by Terry Pratchett

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
- Terry Pratchett

The presence of those seeking the truth
is infinitely to be preferred
to the presence of those who think they've found it.
- Terry Pratchett

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

 

Only in our dreams are we free.
The rest of the time we need wages.
- Terry Pratchett

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops
during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting
"All the Gods are bastards."
- Terry Pratchett

Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.
- Terry Pratchett

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In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
- Terry Pratchett

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone,
somewere, would much rather you weren't doing.
- Terry Pratchett

Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.
- Terry Pratchett

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing,
but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
- Terry Pratchett

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong.
No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness
has always got there first,
and is waiting for it.
- Terry Pratchett

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess,
and you don't find out til too late that he's been
playing with two queens all along.
- Terry Pratchett

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
- Terry Pratchett

You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise.
I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.
- Terry Pratchett

The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd,
is the square root of the number of people in it.
- Terry Pratchett

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods;
they have not forgotten this.
- Terry Pratchett

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short,
and the pen is very sharp.
- Terry Pratchett

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind.
It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.
Of course, I could be wrong.
- Terry Pratchett

Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
- Terry Pratchett

It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes.
It is in fact true.
It's called living.
- Terry Pratchett

Genius is always allowed some leeway,
once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the
blood has been cleaned up.
- Terry Pratchett

Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
- Terry Pratchett

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.
- Terry Pratchett

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
- Terry Pratchett

Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt

He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes.
He who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.
- Chinese Proverb

Keep a grateful journal. Every night,
list five things you are grateful for.
- Oprah Winfrey

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man,
but he is brave five minutes longer.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I have been through various fitness regimes.
I used to run about five miles a day and I did aerobics for a while.
- Sting

A child of five would understand this.
Send someone to fetch a child of five.
- Groucho Marx

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day;
wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
- Elbert Hubbard

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

Poets have said that the reason to have children is
to give yourself immortality.
Immortality? Now that I have five children,
my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
- Bill Cosby

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck,
but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Steven Wright

I grew up in a very religious family.
I could read the Qu'ran easily at the age of five.
- Akhmad Kadyrov

A vigorous five-mile walk will do more good for an
unhappy but otherwise healthy adult than all the medicine
and psychology in the world.
- Paul Dudley White

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.
Just how childlike golf players become is proven by
their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

I don't smoke, don't drink much, and go to the gym five times a week.
I live a healthy lifestyle and feel great.
I can run a marathon, you know.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.
She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres

Smartness runs in my family.
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was
in my class for five years.
- Gracie Allen

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore,"
shoot six,
and write down five.
- Paul Harvey

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar
haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
- Sam Ewing

Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers -
six if one went to Harvard.
- Edgar R. Fiedler

A journey by Sea and Land, Five Hundred Miles,
is not undertaken without money.
- Lewis Hallam

I have these visions of myself being thirty,
thirty-five, forty having a family.
- Nastassja Kinski

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog?
Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

The main facts in human life are five:
birth,
food, sleep, love and death.
- E. M. Forster

If I can tell you the story from beginning to end in five minutes,
I'm ready to start writing.
Then it's a constant spreading out of that five minutes.
- Richard Price

Up until like five seconds ago, I just took what jobs came along.
- Paul Bettany

I was five years old when I wrote my first song.
It was out of longing for my father that I wrote it.
- Shmuel Y. Agnon

If I put the top down, I start to burn in about five minutes.
- Kathleen Robertson

We could receive a storm surge of three to five feet.
- Ray Nagin

I daresay I was the worst bed partner in five continents.
- Martha Gellhorn

Here's to five miserable months on the wagon and the
irreparable harm that it's caused me.
- Stanley Kubrick

I went to college in Pittsburgh at Carnegie Mellon University...
studied acting there.
Then I went to New York for about five years.
I moved out here about 10 years ago.
- Laura San Giacomo

I don't think a manager should be judged by whether he wins the pennant,
but by whether he gets the most out of the twenty-five men he's been given.
- Chuck Tanner

My mother's five-foot-two, and I'll be honest with you -
she's the only person I'm scared of.
- Kiefer Sutherland

Not only don't I know who I am, but I'm very suspicious
of people who do know who they are.
I am sometimes ten or twelve people a day,
and sometimes four or five people an hour!
- Tom Baker

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous.
When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
- George Burns

Time is everything; five minutes make the difference
between victory and defeat.
- Horatio Nelson

After four or five different wars, I grew weary of that work,
partly because in an open war, open to coverage,
as Vietnam was, it's not that difficult,
really.
- Morley Safer

Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force.
- Lord North

We've been gone five years and the best they could
come up with was boy bands?
- Jon Bon Jovi

When I was about five or seven years old my mother
was placed in a mental institution and so we were with
our father who worked very hard,
and we had to figure a lot of things out.
- Quincy Jones

It's a miserable life in Hollywood.
You're up at five or six o'clock in the morning to
be ready to start shooting at nine.
- William Wyler

Children laugh an average of three hundred or more times a day;
adults laugh an average of five times a day,
we have a lot of catching up to do.
- Heather King


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