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Golf is played by twenty million mature American men
by Jim Bishop

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men
whose wives think they are out having fun.
- Jim Bishop

Related topics: Sports

Scoops of mint ice cream with chips of chocolate cows.
- Jim Bishop

At 19, everything is possible and tomorrow looks friendly.
- Jim Bishop

Watching your daughter being collected by her date
feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
- Jim Bishop

 

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic.
No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.
- Jim Bishop

A newspaper is lumber made malleable.
It is ink made into words and pictures.
It is conceived, born, grows up and dies of old age in a day.
- Jim Bishop

The future is an opaque mirror.
Anyone who tries to look into it sees nothing but the
dim outlines of an old and worried face.
- Jim Bishop

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It is impossible to read for pleasure from something
to which you are both father and mother,
born in such travail that the writer despises the thing that enslaved him.
- Jim Bishop

Nobody understands anyone 18, including those who are 18.
- Jim Bishop

Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can't putt.
- Jim Bishop

Books, I found, had the power to make time stand still,
retreat or fly into the future.
- Jim Bishop

Archaeology is the peeping Tom of the sciences.
It is the sandbox of men who care not where they are going;
they merely want to know where everyone else has been.
- Jim Bishop

It is difficult to live in the present,
ridiculous to live in the future and impossible to live in the past.
Nothing is as far away as one minute ago.
- Jim Bishop

The reporter is the daily prisoner of clocked facts.
On all working days, he is expected to do his best
in one swift swipe at each story.
- Jim Bishop

When you read about a car crash in which two or three youngsters are killed,
do you pause to dwell on the amount of love and treasure
and patience parents poured into bodies no longer suitable for open caskets?
- Jim Bishop

The difference in golf and government is that in golf
you can't improve your lie.
- George Deukmejian

Don't play too much golf.
Two rounds a day are plenty.
- Harry Vardon

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite
of what you are inclined to do,
and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
- Ben Hogan

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club,
don't you?
- Ben Hogan

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one,
particularly if he plays golf.
- Bertrand Russell

I get to play golf for a living.
What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.
- Tiger Woods

I don't want to play golf.
When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
- Rogers Hornsby

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately.
Ring the nearest golf course.
- Groucho Marx

If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club,
they'd starve to death.
- Sam Snead

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a
ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.
- Woodrow Wilson

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
- Gerald R. Ford

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore,"
shoot six,
and write down five.
- Paul Harvey

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
- William Wordsworth

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.
- Roger Kahn

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.
Just how childlike golf players become is proven by
their frequent inability to count past five.
- John Updike

Give your time and efforts freely or not at all.
When you are tempted to say,
"Oh, if I have to, I'll skip my golf game
and watch my daughter play soccer," don't do it.
Either generate the heart-felt emotion
to make the free-will gift,
"I'd love to watch your game today, Sandy,"
or the honesty to decline the request gracefully.
Martyrdom doesn't create happiness
for any of the parties involved.
An honest, "No" is preferable to a coerced "Yes."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hockey is a sport for white men.
Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
- Tiger Woods

He has the finest, fundamentally sound golf swing I've ever seen.
- Jack Nicklaus

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet
mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
- Ernest Hemingway

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place
the world is when one is playing golf.
- Robert Wilson Lynd

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner,
and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
- Jack Benny

If you think it's hard to meet new people,
try picking up the wrong golf ball.
- Jack Lemmon

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
- Billy Graham

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?
- Al Boliska

If you watch a game, it's fun.
If you play it, it's recreation.
If you work at it, it's golf.
- Bob Hope

If you got the game, you got the game.
That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.
- Shaquille O'Neal

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain

If you call on God to improve the results of a shot
while it is still in motion,
you are using 'an outside agency' and subject to appropriate
penalties under the rules of golf.
- Henry Longhurst

I know this golf tournament has my name on it but it's not about me.
It's about the Louisiana Tech family.
There is nothing greater than being a part of the Bulldog family.
- Terry Bradshaw

A golf course is the epitome of all that is purely
transitory in the universe;
a space not to dwell in,
but to get over as quickly as possible.
- Jean Giraudoux

If it wasn't for golf, I'd probably still be a caddy.
- George Archer

No matter what kind of day I've had at school,
I always look forward to golf.
- Nick Johnson

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being
good at billiards or golf.
- H. L. Mencken

We all know, the ones who play golf,
know what a wonderful game it is and what a great past-time it is.
- Bernhard Langer

Playing golf is like learning a foreign language.
- Henry Longhurst

A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors.
- Frank Butler

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.
- Ray Floyd

Nothing dissects a man in public quite like golf.
- Brent Musburger

There is no similarity between golf and putting;
they are two different games,
one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
- Ben Hogan

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
- Ben Hogan

Golf is a puzzle without an answer.
I've played the game for 40 years and I still haven't
the slightest idea how to play.
- Gary Player

I wore that same shirt yesterday playing golf.
There goes the Nike account.
- Leslie Nielsen

Golf is a matter of confidence.
If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will.
- Henry Cotton

All I've got against golf is it takes you so far from the clubhouse.
- Eric Linklater

Proposals to forbid golf courses have about the same
motivations as proposals to forbid skate boarding,
although the rationalizations are different.
- John McCarthy

I get in my golf cart with my dogs, I have five dogs.
- Delta Burke

Professional golf is the only sport where,
if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
- Jack Nicklaus

Golf without bunkers and hazards would be tame and monotonous.
So would life.
- B. C. Forbes

I don't like going to the mall.
I'm not really like the other girls.
I just like to go out on the golf course and play.
Golf is fun and feels really good.
- Michelle Wie

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late,
make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.
- Dick Van Dyke

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth.
It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.
- P. G. Wodehouse

One travels like a golf ball, hopping from green to green.
- John Gunther

At one point, I had 14 pairs of golf shoes.
- Tea Leoni

I do not let a bad score ruin my enjoyment for golf.
- Darrell Royal

Golf is fundamentally about being honest.
I see people hit eight shots and tell me they shot five.
I never say a word.
It is a reminder to me of what is at stake.
- Martin Sheen


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