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I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon. ...
by Casey Stengel

I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.
- Casey Stengel

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel PHOTO

Most ball games are lost, not won.
- Casey Stengel

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
- Casey Stengel

 

Most games are lost, not won.
- Casey Stengel

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.
- Casey Stengel

Been in this game one-hundred years,
but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before.
- Casey Stengel

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I don't like them fellas who drive in two runs and let in three.
- Casey Stengel

Sure I played, did you think I was born at the age
of 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you?
- Casey Stengel

I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional
walks during batting practice.
- Casey Stengel

The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.
- Casey Stengel

Now there's three things you can do in a baseball game:
You can win or you can lose or it can rain.
- Casey Stengel

Never make predictions, especially about the future.
- Casey Stengel

They say some of my stars drink whiskey,
but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.
- Casey Stengel

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game.
It's that they stay out all night looking for it.
- Casey Stengel

I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me,
especially since I've been thrown out of so many.
- Casey Stengel

I don't know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.
- Casey Stengel

The Yankees don't pay me to win every day,
just two out of three.
- Casey Stengel

If we're going to win the pennant, we've got to start
thinking we're not as good as we think we are.
- Casey Stengel

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player.
It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
- Casey Stengel

No baseball pitcher would be worth a darn without a
catcher who could handle the hot fastball.
- Casey Stengel

Two hundred million Americans, and there ain't two good catchers among 'em.
- Casey Stengel

Son, we'd like to keep you around this season but we're
going to try and win a pennant.
- Casey Stengel

It's wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn't used to like.
- Casey Stengel

You gotta lose 'em some of the time.
When you do, lose 'em right.
- Casey Stengel

Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
- Casey Stengel

If you're so smart, let's see you get out of the Army.
- Casey Stengel

They say Yogi Berra is funny.
Well, he has a lovely wife and family,
a beautiful home, money in the bank,
and he plays golf with millionaires.
What's funny about that?
- Casey Stengel

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink.
I said I don't drink.
Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren't
speaking and I said I'll take that drink.
- Casey Stengel

Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.
- Casey Stengel

I was not successful as a ball player,
as it was a game of skill.
- Casey Stengel

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
- Casey Stengel

Finding good players is easy.
Getting them to play as a team is another story.
- Casey Stengel

The team has come along slow but fast.
- Casey Stengel

The secret of successful managing is to keep the five
guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven't made up their minds.
- Casey Stengel

You gotta learn that if you don't get it by midnight,
chances are you ain't gonna get it, and if you do,
it ain't worth it.
- Casey Stengel

Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.
- Casey Stengel

You got to get twenty-seven outs to win.
- Casey Stengel

You have to have a catcher because if you don't you're
likely to have a lot of passed balls.
- Casey Stengel

There are three things you can do in a baseball game.
You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.
- Casey Stengel

Without losers, where would the winners be?
- Casey Stengel

There comes a time in every man's life,
and I've had plenty of them.
- Casey Stengel

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people
who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
- Casey Stengel

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one.
I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
- Casey Stengel

If you're playing baseball and thinking about managing,
you're crazy.
You'd be better off thinking about being an owner.
- Casey Stengel

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you
never committed and when you're older you begin to
get credit for virtues you never possessed.
It evens itself out.
- Casey Stengel

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike.
If you can walk away from them, they're successful.
- Casey Stengel

You have to go broke three times to learn how to make a living.
- Casey Stengel

They told me my services were no longer desired because
they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance
way of keeping the club going.
I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again.
- Casey Stengel

There comes a time when the mind
takes a higher plane of knowledge
but can never prove how it got there.
- Albert Einstein

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll

If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

It is no use saying, "We are doing our best."
You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
- Winston Churchill

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.
You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard
or just think it's going to get on by itself.
You've got to keep watering it.
You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
- John Lennon

You're just left with yourself all the time,
whatever you do anyway.
You've got to get down to your
own God in your own temple.
It's all down to you, mate.
- John Lennon

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall

Hardly a man in the world has an opinion
upon morals, political, or religion
which he got otherwise than
through his associations and sympathies.
- Mark Twain

It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline
when you're a winner, when you're number one.
What you've got to have is faith and discipline
when you're not yet a winner.
- Vince Lombardi

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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