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Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. ...
by H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Related topics: Cynical Funny

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

 

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

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It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy,
but that it is a bore.
It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

War will never cease until babies begin to come into
the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
- H. L. Mencken

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;
as for me,
I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
- H. L. Mencken

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
- H. L. Mencken

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country,
it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
- H. L. Mencken

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems
to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
- H. L. Mencken

In the duel of sex woman fights from a dreadnought
and man from an open raft.
- H. L. Mencken

Time stays, we go.
- H. L. Mencken

Communism, like any other revealed religion,
is largely made up of prophecies.
- H. L. Mencken

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their
marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
- H. L. Mencken

Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape
to believe that he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a dead-end street.
- H. L. Mencken

Most people want security in this world,
not liberty.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is also a form of worship.
It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
- H. L. Mencken

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail;
if it were not for this penalty,
the jury would never hear the evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence
and yet keep both ears to the ground.
- H. L. Mencken

If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me
and have thought to please my ghost,
forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
- H. L. Mencken

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance
for the evil conscience of their parents.
- H. L. Mencken

If women believed in their husbands they would be a
good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
- H. L. Mencken

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being
good at billiards or golf.
- H. L. Mencken

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth
when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
- H. L. Mencken

No man ever quite believes in any other man.
One may believe in an idea absolutely,
but not in a man.
- H. L. Mencken

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately
in the palpably not true.
It is the chief occupation of mankind.
- H. L. Mencken

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more
ignorant and the crazy crazier.
- H. L. Mencken

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
- H. L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything.
I am strongly in favor of common sense,
common honesty, and common decency.
This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
- H. L. Mencken

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
- H. L. Mencken

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents,
he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
- H. L. Mencken

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink
worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
- H. L. Mencken

One may no more live in the world without picking up
the moral prejudices of the world than one will be
able to go to hell without perspiring.
- H. L. Mencken

There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches.
But there has never lived a man so philosophical that
he could see the toothache in his own humor.
- H. L. Mencken

All government, of course, is against liberty.
- H. L. Mencken

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes
sports hates common sense.
- H. L. Mencken

It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world,
as pastors teach, but idealism.
Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.
- H. L. Mencken

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one
lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
- H. L. Mencken

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely.
It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
- H. L. Mencken


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