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The longer we listen to one another -
by Barbara Deming

The longer we listen to one another -
with real attention -
the more commonality we will find in all our lives.
That is, if we are careful to exchange with one another
life stories and not simply opinions.
- Barbara Deming

The injunction that we should love our neighbors as
ourselves means to us equally that we should love ourselves
as we love our neighbors.
- Barbara Deming

There should be no censorship of mail.
- Barbara Deming

To resort to power one need not be violent,
and to speak to conscience one need not be meek.
The most effective action both resorts to power and engages conscience.
- Barbara Deming

 

The point is to change one's life.
The point is not to give some vent to the emotions
that have been destroying one;
the point is so to act that one can master them now.
- Barbara Deming

Punishment cannot heal spirits, can only break them.
- Barbara Deming

Nonviolent action does not have to get others to be nice.
It can in effect force them to consult their consciences.
- Barbara Deming

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Nonviolent tactics can move into action on our behalf
men not naturally inclined to act for us.
- Barbara Deming

All prisons that have existed in our society to date
put people away as no human being should ever be put away.
- Barbara Deming

Think first of the action that is right to take,
think later about coping with one's fears.
- Barbara Deming

People who attack others need rationalizations for doing so.
We undermine those rationalizations.
- Barbara Deming

This is the heart of my argument: We can put more pressure
on the antagonist for whom we show human concern.
- Barbara Deming

Vengeance is not the point; change is.
But the trouble is that in most people's minds the
thought of victory and the thought of punishing the enemy coincide.
- Barbara Deming

The free man must be born before freedom can be won,
and the brotherly man must be born before full brotherhood can be won.
It will come into being only if we build it out of
our very muscle and bone -
by trying to act it out.
- Barbara Deming

We believe, in fact, that the one act of respect has
little force unless matched by the other -
in balance with it...
The acting out of that dual respect I would name as
precisely the source of our power.
- Barbara Deming

After the revolution, it might very well remain necessary
to place people where they could not do harm to others.
But the one under restraint should be cut off from
the rest of society as little as possible.
- Barbara Deming

Of course it can be said of jails, too,
that they try - by punishing the troublesome -
to deter others.
No doubt, in certain instances this deterrence actually works.
But generally speaking it fails conspicuously.
- Barbara Deming

After the revolution, let us hope, prisons simply would not exist -
if by prisons we mean places that could be experienced
by the men and women in them at all as every place
that goes by that name now is bound to be experienced.
- Barbara Deming

I think the only choice that will enable us to hold to our vision...
is one that abandons the concept of naming enemies
and adopts a concept familiar to the nonviolent tradition:
naming behavior that is oppressive.
- Barbara Deming

We learn best to listen to our own voices if we are
listening at the same time to other women -
whose stories,
for all our differences, turn out, if we listen well,
to be our stories also.
- Barbara Deming

Our task, of course, is to transmute the anger that
is affliction into the anger that is determination to bring about change.
I think, in fact, that one could give that as a definition of revolution.
- Barbara Deming

Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore

He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

The obscure we see eventually.
The completely obvious,
it seems, takes longer.
- Edward R. Murrow

Fear not death; for the sooner we die,
the longer shall we be immortal.
- Benjamin Franklin

A hero is no braver than an ordinary man,
but he is brave five minutes longer.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If i had known... i would have lingered
over my coffee a little longer.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom,
no longer lend your strength to that
which you wish to be free from.
Fill your life with love and bravery,
and you shall live a life uncommon.
- Jewel

Begin to act from your dominion.
Declare the truth by telling yourself
that there is nothing to be afraid of,
that you no longer entertain any images of fear.
- Ernest Holmes

"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.
"Even longer," Pooh answered.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

One measure of friendship consists
not in the number of things friends can discuss,
but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman

When you get into a tight place
and everything goes against you,
till it seems you cannot hold on a minute longer,
never give up then, for that is just
the place and time the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Walking takes longer...
than any other known form of locomotion except crawling.
Thus it stretches time and prolongs life.
Life is already too short to waste on speed.
- Edward Abbey

Looking at a sunset, just for a second
you forget your separateness:
you are the sunset.
That is the moment when you feel the beauty of it.
But the moment you say that it is a beautiful sunset,
you are no longer feeling it;
you have come back to your separate,
enclosed entity of the ego.
Now the mind is speaking.
- Osho

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

Overflowing Cup of Tea:
The Zen Master poured his visitor's teacup full, and then kept pouring.
The visitor watched until he could no longer restrain himself.
"It is overfull. No more will go in!"
"Like this cup," the Zen Master said,
"you are full of your own opinions and assumptions.
How can you learn truth until you first empty your cup?"
- Traditional Zen Koan

Once you respect yourself, there is no longer
any reason to disrespect anyone else.
Once you are confident of your own worthiness,
the worthiness of others ceases to be an issue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill.
It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past ...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the string we have,
and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me
and 90 percent how I react to it.
And so it is with you ...
we are in charge of our attitudes.
- Charles Swindoll

"Being practical" is the antithesis of having faith and love.
"Being practical" is an expression of fear.
When you live from love and faith, you will be compassionate,
confident, and loving -- and no longer feel the need to "be practical."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you open up to the ultimate,
immediately it pours into you.
You are no longer an ordinary human being -
you have transcended.
Your insight has become the
insight of the whole existence.
Now you are no longer separate -
you have found your roots.
- Osho

If the mind wants to comprehend reality,
it will have to come out of the past and the future.
But coming out of the past and the future,
it is no longer the mind at all.
Hence the insistence of all the great masters of the world
that the door to reality is no-mind.
- Osho

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and all science.
He to whom this emotion is a stranger,
who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent.
We are no longer in the past, we have arrived.
- Knut Hamsun

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom;
wait until they have been married longer.
- Edgar Watson Howe

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is
a jay and which is a sparrow,
he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing.
- Eric Berne

In today's world, it is no longer unimaginable to think
that business can operate -
and even thrive -
in an environmentally-friendly manner.
- Olympia Snowe

A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
- James Feibleman

We are all "neighbors."
Our world has gotten too small for us to be anything else.
We can no longer have "us" and "them" - friends and enemies.
A person from Iraq, or Russia, or Columbia is
no more a stranger or enemy than a person from across town.
A few people everywhere are troublemakers.
Every religion provokes a few people to become extremists.
Do we need police around the globe? Unfortunately, we always will.
Do we need war? Does that question even deserve an answer?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's not that I'm so smart,
it's just that I stay with problems longer.
- Albert Einstein

The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.
When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe.
You relinquish that position to your children.
- Jessica Lange

Recounting of a life story, a mind thinking aloud leads
one inevitably to the consideration of problems which
are no longer psychological but spiritual.
- Paul Tournier

Americans no longer look to government for economic security;
rather,
they look to their portfolios.
- Bill Owens

And you know, the baby boomers are getting older,
and those off the rack clothes are just not fitting right any longer,
and so, tailor-made suits are coming back into fashion.
- Amy Irving

Expectation (demand) is always a cause of suffering.
Rather than "expecting" to be repaid
when we "loan" something to someone,
consider the "loans" we make to be forward payments
for the "loans" we received from
our ancestors, nurturers and others.
Request that any "loan" that we make be repaid FORWARD,
when the recipient is able,
and then completely forget about the "loan."
It is no longer our business if, when, or how
the "loan" is repaid - or is not repaid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.
- Johnny Carson

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life
that it shall yield them any of those personal goods
that are subject to the mutations of time.
- Bertrand Russell

When a finished work of 20th century sculpture is placed
in an 18th century garden,
it is absorbed by the ideal representation of the past,
thus reinforcing political and social values that are no longer with us.
- Robert Smithson

It is a sure sign that a culture has reached a dead
end when it is no longer intrigued by its myths.
- Greil Marcus

Collaboration is no longer painful -
or precious.
- Vince Clarke

To say of shame - what is it? Of virtue -
we can miss it; Of sin-we can kiss it,
And it's no longer sin.
- Algernon Charles Swinburne

We are no longer going to ask for the land,
but we are going to take it without negotiating.
- Robert Mugabe

By recollecting the pleasures I have had formerly,
I renew them, I enjoy them a second time,
while I laugh at the remembrance of troubles now past,
and which I no longer feel.
- Giacomo Casanova

A man is a god in ruins.
When men are innocent, life shall be longer,
and shall pass into the immortal,
as gently as we awake from dreams.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A soil, exhausted by the long culture of Pagan empires,
was to lie fallow for a still longer period.
- John Lothrop Motley

I'd like to play characters who are older -
I don't want to be playing 14-year-olds too much longer.
- Alison Lohman

Great advice comes from people that have been around a lot longer than you.
- Zac Efron

The modern state no longer has anything but rights;
it does not recognize duties any more.
- Georges Bernanos

When you have great songs that are going to live longer than the composers,
everything you can do to bring those different elements and nuances out,
serve the song.
- Michael Bolton


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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