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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle,
by Robert Benchley

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle,
bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush,
we spend an enormous amount of time standing around
in line in front of windows,
just waiting.
- Robert Benchley

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children,
as they are already stretched and pulled to such a
length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
- Robert Benchley

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people
will not go to analyze humor.
It seems to worry them.
- Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language,
I said nothing.
- Robert Benchley

 

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things,
and I have succeeded fairly well.
- Robert Benchley

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In America there are two classes of travel -
first class,
and with children.
- Robert Benchley

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the
necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.
- Robert Benchley

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
- Robert Benchley

A great many people have come up to me and asked how
I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
- Robert Benchley

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe,
let him go back to where he came from.
- Robert Benchley

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves
be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door,
simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
- Robert Benchley

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
- Robert Benchley

We are constantly being surprised that people did things
well before we were born.
- Robert Benchley

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death,
but then I'm in no hurry.
- Robert Benchley

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything
isn't money and power in this world,
and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
- Robert Benchley

In a house where there are small children the bathroom
soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.
- Robert Benchley

After an author has been dead for some time,
it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers
to get a new book out of him each year.
- Robert Benchley

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band
coming up the street and not to have the impulse to
rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.
- Robert Benchley

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on.
The only cure for a real hangover is death.
- Robert Benchley

Drinking makes such fools of people,
and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
- Robert Benchley

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience,
loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go
to a game prepared to take offense,
no matter what happens.
- Robert Benchley

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.
- Robert Benchley

You might think that after thousands of years of coming
up too soon and getting frozen,
the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.
- Robert Benchley

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.
- Robert Benchley

I have been told by hospital authorities that more
copies of my works are left behind by departing patients
than those of any other author.
- Robert Benchley

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat
short of being impressive,
owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows
what we are talking about.
- Robert Benchley

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening
in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin
of his left ear from twirling around on it.
- Robert Benchley

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
- Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing,
but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
- Robert Benchley

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman
without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
- Robert Benchley

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
- Robert Benchley

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that
no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission.
It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.
- Robert Benchley

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul.
If that upheaval is not present then it must come from
the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.
- Robert Benchley

Other men wear white suits in summer and it doesn't seem to bother them.
But my white suit seems to be a little whiter than theirs.
I think also that it may have something written on the back of it,
although I can't find it when I take the suit off.
- Robert Benchley

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Every optimist moves along with progress and hastens it,
while every pessimist would keep the worlds at a standstill.
The consequence of pessimism in the life of a nation
is the same as in the life of the individual.
Pessimism kills the instinct that
urges men to struggle against poverty,
ignorance and crime, and dries up
all the fountains of joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most tragic paradox of our time is to be found
in the failure of nation-states to recognize the imperatives of internationalism.
- Earl Warren

A war for a great principle ennobles a nation.
- Albert Pike

Our nation is built on the bedrock principle that governments
derive their just powers from the consent of the governed.
- Adrian Cronauer

A nation is a society united by a delusion about its
ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbours.
- William Ralph Inge

Give me control of a nation's money and I care not who makes her laws.
- Mayer Amschel Rothschild

Power without a nation's confidence is nothing.
- Catherine II

Frivolous lawsuits are booming in this county.
The U.S.
has more costs of litigation per person than any other
industrialized nation in the world,
and it is crippling our economy.
- Jack Kingston

Cyberspace.
A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators,
in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts.
- William Gibson

Each nation feels superior to other nations.
That breeds patriotism - and wars.
- Dale Carnegie

Independence of nation begins with independence of self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is no instance of a nation benefitting from prolonged warfare.
- Sun Tzu

I have a scheme for stopping war.
It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till
they have paid for the last one.
- Will Rogers

What's bad for the country is always good for The Nation.
- Victor Navasky

It's our destiny to explore.
It's our destiny to be a space-faring nation.
- Eugene Cernan

We must think and act like a nation of a billion people
and not like that of a million people.
Dream, dream, dream!
- Abdul Kalam

How in heaven's name can a nation with a $1 trillion
surplus threaten so much scientific research so vital to its future?
- David R. Gergen

We have indeed been fortunate in this country.
Over the last 200 some odd years since our Nation was founded,
rarely have there been attacks upon our homeland.
- Virgil Goode

In old times people used to try and square the circle;
now they try and devise schemes for satisfying the Irish nation.
- Samuel Butler

But the threat posed by the radical Islamists represents an unusual conflict,
unlike any experienced by our nation before:
we face an enemy that is not a state.
- Paul Weyrich

For as long as this nation has known war,
we have embraced the heroes it has produced.
- Jim Walsh

The strength of a nation, especially of a republican nation,
is in the intelligent and well ordered homes of the people.
- Lydia Sigourney

Our progress as a nation can be no swifter
than our progress in education.
The human mind is our fundamental resource.
- John F. Kennedy

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world.
- Alexander Graham Bell

In a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon,
it will be an entire nation.
For all of us must work to put him there.
- John F. Kennedy

How strange it is that murder has the sanction of law
in one and only one of the human relationships,
and that is the most important of all,
that of nation to nation.
- Paul Harris

Many a revolution started with the actions of a few.
Only 56 men signed the Declaration of Independence.
A few hanging together can lead a nation to change.
- Wynton Marsalis

I am certain that I speak on behalf of my entire nation when I say:
September 11th we are all Americans -
in grief,
as in defiance.
- Benjamin Netanyahu

What the world needs now is more Americans.
The U.S.
is the first nation on earth deliberately dedicated
to letting people choose what they want and giving them a chance to get it.
- Ferdinand Mount

When the French nation gradually came into existence
among the ruins of the Roman civilization in Gaul,
a new language was at the same time slowly evolved.
- Lytton Strachey


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