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It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying,
by Quentin Crisp

It's no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying,
'Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.'
By then,
pigs will be your style.
- Quentin Crisp

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
- Quentin Crisp

The British do not expect happiness.
I had the impression, all the time that I lived there,
that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.
- Quentin Crisp

 

Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
- Quentin Crisp

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
- Quentin Crisp

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with
the last installment missing.
- Quentin Crisp

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Never keep up with the Joneses.
Drag them down to your level.
- Quentin Crisp

Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.
- Quentin Crisp

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
- Quentin Crisp

Love is not enough.
It must be the foundation, the cornerstone-
but not the complete structure.
It is much too pliable, too yielding.
- Quentin Crisp

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff
you have to peel and cook.
- Quentin Crisp

The young always have the same problem -
how to rebel and conform at the same time.
They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
- Quentin Crisp

To know all is not to forgive all.
It is to despise everybody.
- Quentin Crisp

Men get laid, but women get screwed.
- Quentin Crisp

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's
lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.
- Quentin Crisp

Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
- Quentin Crisp

Living en famille provides the strongest motives for
rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.
- Quentin Crisp

Manners are love in a cool climate.
- Quentin Crisp

Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never
be thought to signify they have been won over.
It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.
- Quentin Crisp

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
- Quentin Crisp

Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation
of which the filing system has been lost?
- Quentin Crisp

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account
of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
- Quentin Crisp

Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite.
Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
- Quentin Crisp

The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as "Soho" poverty.
It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
- Quentin Crisp

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing
opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things
that other people think about us.
- Quentin Crisp

Though intelligence is powerless to modify character,
it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
- Quentin Crisp

Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a
monastery than reading a book on etiquette.
There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible
to commit some social sin.
- Quentin Crisp

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire,
and drop into your grave.
- Quentin Crisp

For an introvert his environment is himself and can
never be subject to startling or unforeseen change.
- Quentin Crisp

There is no need to do any housework at all.
After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
- Quentin Crisp

Vice is its own reward.
It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal,
must carry Green Shield stamps.
- Quentin Crisp

The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
- Quentin Crisp

However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
- Quentin Crisp

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
- Quentin Crisp

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast.
Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt
find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
- Quentin Crisp

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom;
it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect.
Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment,
but of boredom.
- Quentin Crisp

I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being,
a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving
in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to
give me a bicycle with three speeds.
- Quentin Crisp

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take.
This is untrue.
Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last,
as we flop into our graves exhausted,
we are told that we didn't give enough.
- Quentin Crisp

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist,
a woman in the audience stood up and said,
'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God
of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
- Quentin Crisp

There are three reasons for becoming a writer:
the first is that you need the money;
the second that you have something to say that you
think the world should know;
the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.
- Quentin Crisp

The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately
to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person.
I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature.
Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
- Quentin Crisp

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

Say NO to the demands of the world.
Say YES to the longings of your own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

If we have no peace,
it is because we have forgotten
that we belong to each other.
- Mother Teresa

Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore

A good traveler has no fixed plans,
and is not intent on arriving.
- Lao Tzu

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The River of Life has no meaning,
no good, no bad, no better, no worse,
no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Without change, there would be no butterflies.
- Anonymous

Do not blame the thistle that you see no beauty.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do or do not, there is no try.
- Jedi Master Yoda in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong

Do not let Sunday be taken from you.
If your soul has no Sunday, it becomes an orphan.
- Albert Schweitzer

Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain

Choose with no regret.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
- Confucius

No good comes from hurrying.
- Yiddish Proverb

When people get caught up with that which is right
and they are willing to sacrifice for it,
there is no stopping point short of victory.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Where there is no accusation of "fault,"
there can be no anger.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are no small acts of kindness.
Every compassionate act makes large the world.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Travelers, there is no path.
Paths are made by walking.
- Antonio Machado

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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