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I'm not a real movie star.
by Will Rogers

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

Related topics: Funny

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers

Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

 

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.
- Will Rogers

People are getting smarter nowadays;
they are letting lawyers,
instead of their conscience, be their guide.
- Will Rogers

Make crime pay.
Become a lawyer.
- Will Rogers

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Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate,
now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?
- Will Rogers

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

The movies are the only business where you can go out
front and applaud yourself.
- Will Rogers

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good
stock and hold it till it goes up,
then sell it.
If it don't go up, don't buy it.
- Will Rogers

I never expected to see the day when girls would get
sunburned in the places they now do.
- Will Rogers

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.
- Will Rogers

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot
of money even to be defeated.
- Will Rogers

A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft.
Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
- Will Rogers

You can't say civilization don't advance...
in every war they kill you in a new way.
- Will Rogers

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Will Rogers

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty.
I will belong to the select few.
- Will Rogers

If you can build a business up big enough,
it's respectable.
- Will Rogers

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers

This country has come to feel the same when Congress
is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
- Will Rogers

There's only one thing that can kill the movies,
and that's education.
- Will Rogers

I don't make jokes.
I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers

Everything is changing.
People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
- Will Rogers

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
- Will Rogers

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
- Will Rogers

Money and women are the most sought after and the least
known about of any two things we have.
- Will Rogers

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
- Will Rogers

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
- Will Rogers

Even though you are on the right track -
you will get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- Will Rogers

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this',
and they didn't, they got worse.
- Will Rogers

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
- Will Rogers

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
- Will Rogers

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
- Will Rogers

There ought to be one day - just one -
when there is open season on senators.
- Will Rogers

The more you observe politics, the more you've got
to admit that each party is worse than the other.
- Will Rogers

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S.
Senators.
- Will Rogers

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have
the whole government working for you.
- Will Rogers

Buy land.
They ain't making any more of the stuff.
- Will Rogers

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.
- Will Rogers

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit
on the curb and applaud when they go by.
- Will Rogers

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
- Will Rogers

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
- Will Rogers

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president.
All he has to do is get up every morning and say,
"How is the president?"
- Will Rogers

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as
soldiers are for finishing it...
You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.
- Will Rogers

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
- Will Rogers

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
- Will Rogers

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading,
and the other by association with smarter people.
- Will Rogers

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice
the goods while the policeman searches you.
- Will Rogers

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
- Will Rogers

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat
is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other,
while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
- Will Rogers

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple.
Know what you are doing.
Love what you are doing.
And believe in what you are doing.
- Will Rogers

Things in our country run in spite of government,
not by aid of it.
- Will Rogers

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned
to write but evidently can't read.
If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
- Will Rogers

We will never have true civilization until we have
learned to recognize the rights of others.
- Will Rogers

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
- Will Rogers

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
- Will Rogers

Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats.
If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
- Will Rogers

All I know is just what I read in the papers,
and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
- Will Rogers

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue
us for calling him "father."
- Will Rogers

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
- Will Rogers

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving
their product that they do on advertising and they
wouldn't have to advertise it.
- Will Rogers

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious,
and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day,
only in a different way.
- Will Rogers

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half
the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
- Will Rogers

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
- Will Rogers

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
- Will Rogers

One-third of the people in the United States promote,
while the other two-thirds provide.
- Will Rogers


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