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The only change I can really see is that I don't have
by Larry David

The only change I can really see is that I don't have
to shop for pants in stores anymore.
- Larry David

Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
- Larry David

Even back then, I exuded self-confidence,
and that drives women crazy.
- Larry David

I just wanted laughs - that's really what I was after.
- Larry David

 

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all.
I was interested in being a great comedian.
- Larry David

You write about what you know.
- Larry David

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
- Larry David

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Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.
- Larry David

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now
I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery
will continue for at least one more generation.
- Larry David

I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian;
if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do,
it would be that.
That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am.
- Larry David

Drugs scared me.
- Larry David

Millions of people are married.
I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says,
Man Gets Married!
- Larry David

It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something,
it just doesn't happen that often.
- Larry David

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous,
but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
- Larry David

It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy
that these people were coming to hear -
mainstream comedy.
- Larry David

I'm a walking, talking enigma.
- Larry David

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.
- Larry David

There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting,
thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much
better if I had written it out.
- Larry David

I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place.
The network was already committed to doing something with him,
so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
- Larry David

I just feed off the energy of the audience.
- Larry David

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
- Larry David

I had a job as a paralegal.
I drove a cab.
- Larry David

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight,
so they get people to do their fighting for them while
they ski and eat chocolate.
- Larry David

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today,
it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of
waltz in the park back then.
- Larry David

I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.
I just feed off the energy of the audience.
That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
- Larry David

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading
about my emotional state.
It's not even interesting to me.
- Larry David

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life.
Albeit inadvertently.
- Larry David

I was planning on my future as a homeless person.
I had a really good spot picked out.
- Larry David

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go,
but I'm very casual about it.
- Larry David

I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy,
it had become very commercialized.
- Larry David

Women love a self-confident bald man.
- Larry David

When you're not concerned with succeeding,
you can work with complete freedom.
- Larry David

And eventually as I kept writing it,
something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
- Larry David

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling,
it becomes funny.
- Larry David

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things
a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.
- Larry David

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm
deaf and I try to imagine what it's like not to be able to hear them.
It's not that bad.
- Larry David

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed
me more at home than overseas.
- Larry David

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair.
But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.
- Larry David

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show.
People generally talk the way they talk in life if
you were in this particular situation.
- Larry David

At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character.
I just thought I was gonna be doing me.
- Larry David

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do
with the fact that I'm Jewish.
- Larry David

It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment,
with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me,
with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out,
with people yelling at each other all the time.
- Larry David

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years,
which, I might add, was three times as long as service in the regular army,
although to be perfectly honest, I was unable to fulfill
my entire obligation because I was taking acting classes
and they said I could skip my last year.
- Larry David

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,
I would walk around the streets and occasionally I
would see an alcove or something.
And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot
for me when I'm homeless.
- Larry David

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood
up for having served in the National Guard,
because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned
my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the
height of the Vietnam War.
- Larry David

You're only here for a short visit.
Don't hurry. Don't worry.
And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.
- Walter Hagen

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People only see what they are prepared to see.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha

The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke

Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Life is an adventure.
I can only wonder what treasure
awaits at the top of the path.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was,
Thank you, that would suffice.
- Meister Eckhart

Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action -
from a peaceful heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein

Don't hurry. Don't worry.
You're only here for a short visit.
So don't forget to stop and smell the roses.
- Walter Hagen

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
- Robert F. Kennedy

Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us,
and the world will be as one.
- John Lennon

We can only be said to be truly alive in those moments
when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.
- Thornton Wilder

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt

Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue,
but the parent of all other virtues.
- Cicero

For some of us, the world appears to provide
only a fixed quantity of each resource -
a limited amount of food, of money,
of love, of success, of appreciation.
For others, life is unlimited.
Their world expands with the generosity, compassion,
inventiveness, and service that they contribute.
In this world-view, money that is spent
or given away returns multiplied.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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