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I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first,
by Jeff Foxworthy

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first,
friends and family second and you third,
we won't ever have an argument.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Related topics: Home

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning
and watches the Discovery Channel.
I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
- Jeff Foxworthy

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile,
I think something snaps in your brain.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at
it they would have to check me for ticks at the end
of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.
- Jeff Foxworthy

 

If your neighbors think you're a detective because
a cop always brings you home,
you might be a redneck.
- Jeff Foxworthy

If you've ever made change in the offering plate,
you might be a redneck.
- Jeff Foxworthy

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly
you're not 'professional' any more.
- Jeff Foxworthy

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Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip,
and they don't want to be hip.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks...
but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I had to perform at the White House for the president,
That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
- Jeff Foxworthy

You might be a redneck if...
the blue book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas it has in it.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it,
it takes another two or three hours a day.
I don't want to give two or three more hours away.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother -
you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure
you're not going to like it.
- Jeff Foxworthy

There's no down time any more.
- Jeff Foxworthy

If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they
all say Kool Whip on the side,
you might be a redneck.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country,
and 90 percent of the people are good folks.
The rest of them take after the other side of the family.
- Jeff Foxworthy

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.
- Jeff Foxworthy

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road.
We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of
experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.
- Jeff Foxworthy

The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes.
He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St.
Bernard coming in through the cat door.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Find something in life that you love doing.
If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus,
and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I really don't require a whole lot in life.
- Jeff Foxworthy

People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say,
Not interested.
I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school.
- Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if...
your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
- Jeff Foxworthy

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought
Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.
- Jeff Foxworthy

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job.
But if you ever get sucked into doing it,
drop them off at the wrong house.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I have never been jealous.
Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
- Jeff Foxworthy

That's the great thing about a tractor.
You can't really hear the phone ring.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent,
they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I know God is real.
- Jeff Foxworthy

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television,
you might be a redneck.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Little girls love dolls.
They just don't love doll clothes.
We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them
got a stitch of clothes on.
- Jeff Foxworthy

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.
- Jeff Foxworthy

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.
- Jeff Foxworthy

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies
unraveling and relationships unraveling.
- Jeff Foxworthy

You may be a redneck if...
you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
- Jeff Foxworthy

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without,
you just might be a redneck.
- Jeff Foxworthy

I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to
get someone else to verify it?
- Jeff Foxworthy

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine
weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14.
I've got four more summers with her.
I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie.
- Jeff Foxworthy

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest,
craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world,
all you have to do is go to a state fair.
Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going,
'you know, we're alright.
We are dang near royalty.'
- Jeff Foxworthy

My wife is so analytical with raising kids,
and I am not.
My feeling is if they turn out good,
then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it.
If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
- Jeff Foxworthy

Say NO to the demands of the world.
Say YES to the longings of your own heart.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whatever you do, do with kindness.
Whatever you say, say with kindness.
Wherever you go, radiate kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.
- Erich Segal

Imagine all the people living life in peace.
You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us,
and the world will be as one.
- John Lennon

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus

What people say, what people do,
and what they say they do
are entirely different things.
- Margaret Mead

Today, I say yes to forgiving.
I commit to being for-giving love
and for-giving compassion in all areas of my life.
- Sheri Rosenthal

Know the power of kindness.
Whatever you do, do with kindness.
Whatever you say, say with kindness.
Wherever you go,
radiate your kindness to all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A leader is best when people barely know he exists;
when his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
they will say: we did it ourselves.
- Lao Tzu

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Never allow a person to tell you NO
who doesn't have the power to say YES.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

What you do speaks so loudly
that I cannot hear what you say.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop

Where there is unconditional love,
there is no room for unhappiness.
Whenever I look in the mirror today,
I will say to myself: "That Is The Face Of God."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The wicked leader is he who the people despise.
The good leader is he who the people revere.
The great leader is he who the people say, "We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

Today is a Happy Day because I say it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When the best leader's work is done the people say,
"We did it ourselves."
- Lao Tzu

There is nothing to do.
There is nothing to say.
There is nothing to think.
There is nothing to feel.
The River of Life just flows.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The great pleasure in life is doing
what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

Whatever you say, say with kindness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is when
what you think,
what you say,
and what you do
are in harmony.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes,
and not rather a new wearer of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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