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I was supposed to be on the Tonight Show but I ...
by Rip Taylor

I was supposed to be on the Tonight Show but I broke my shoulder instead.
- Rip Taylor

Red Skelton...
I broke into tears when I met him.
- Rip Taylor

Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd.,
I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star!
- Rip Taylor

Carrot Top...
I gave him advice once and he ran with it.
He should thank me.
- Rip Taylor

 

I have a new joke today.
Martha Stewart's on suicide watch.
They had to unplug all of her ovens.
- Rip Taylor

Marty Richards is an angel on Earth.
A producer that does what he says he'll do.
He helped me greatly.
- Rip Taylor

I went to see Harvey again in Fiddler.
Harvey's throat is getting better.
- Rip Taylor

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I've created such a monster.
- Rip Taylor

I went to Sirius Satellite Radio and did my show,
Rapping With Rip.
- Rip Taylor

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair."
Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be.
Demanding that life meet our expectations
is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence.
Life is a game with no rules.
Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions.
Our only path to happiness lies in being open
to receiving whatever life throws at us -
with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking
our cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is,
"Life is not supposed to be fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Get over it - Life isn't Supposed to be fair.
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
Get over yourself, and be of service to others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's YOUR time - it's YOUR life -
YOU get to choose how you use it. T
here is no way that your life is "supposed" to be.
Your parents had their vision for your life.
Your boss, your spouse, your church, your friends,
and even the family next door have their ideas
of how you should live your life.
What about YOUR vision for your life?
What do YOU want?
YES, it matters what you want.
YES you can have what you want.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each of us is burdened by an unlimited number of
expectations (demands) that we hold for the actions of others.
We "know" that there is a right way to do things,
and are often outraged when our expectations are not met.
Usually, we are unaware that we merely
have a strong opinion and point-of-view,
and are sure that we know how everything is supposed to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work.
Of course it doesn't work.
We are supposed to work it.
- Alexander Woollcott

All the president is, is a glorified public relations
man who spends his time flattering,
kissing, and kicking people to get them to do what
they are supposed to do anyway.
- Harry S. Truman

Right now, computers, which are supposed to be our servant,
are oppressing us.
- Jef Raskin

Christians are supposed not merely to endure change,
nor even to profit by it, but to cause it.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick

My teenage years were exactly what they were supposed to be.
Everybody has their own path.
It's laid out for you.
It's just up to you to walk it.
- Justin Timberlake

I don't start with a design objective,
I start with a communication objective.
I feel my project is successful if it communicates
what it is supposed to communicate.
- Mike Davidson

You have to forget about what other people say,
when you're supposed to die, or when you're supposed to be loving.
You have to forget about all these things.
- Jimi Hendrix

You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism
that you can't face reality.
Wrong is wrong, no matter who says it.
- Malcolm X

You have to write a good score that you feel good about.
At least, you're supposed to.
But, if the director hates it, it ain't going to be in the movie!
- Danny Elfman

Man is asked to make of himself what he is supposed
to become to fulfill his destiny.
- Paul Tillich

And there are no stars and that you're never really
sure who's doing what and what voice is what and,
you know what I mean? It's supposed to be quite elusive.
- Damon Albarn

In Europe, a writer is supposed to improve up until he's about 75.
- Irwin Shaw

The only freedom supposed to be left to the masses
is that of grazing on the ration of simulacra the system
distributes to each individual.
- Michel De Certeau

A good journalist is not the one that writes what people say,
but the one that writes what he is supposed to write.
- Todor Zhivkov

But we're not supposed to talk anything besides football.
- Al Michaels

When Shakespeare was writing, he wasn't writing for
stuff to lie on the page;
it was supposed to get up and move around.
- Ken Kesey

It really bugs me that someone will tell me,
after I spent 20 years being educated,
how I'm supposed to think.
- Clarence Thomas

Hell, I'm an old man.
I'm 70 years old.
I'm supposed to be sitting on a rocking chair watching the sunset.
- M. Emmet Walsh

Making a film that's supposed to be fun to watch is really hard -
that's the weird irony of it.
- Steven Soderbergh

Scoring two goals at against Wembley against a Dutch
team that was supposed to rip us apart and ripping them apart -
it doesn't get any better than that.
- Teddy Sheringham

And I know when I was younger, and still,
I always marvel at what I feel is different from what
I'm told that I'm supposed to feel.
- Andrew McCarthy

Everybody believes in psychiatry; it's supposed to be for our own good.
Let psychiatry prove that anybody has an illness,
and I'd concede, but there is no physical proof.
- Kate Millett

Greek philosophy seems to have met with something with
which a good tragedy is not supposed to meet,
namely, a dull ending.
- Karl Marx

Journalists are supposed to be skeptical,
that's what keeps them digging rather than simply accepting the official line,
whether it comes from government or corporate bureaucrats.
- Linda Chavez

A refuge is supposed to prevent what? The genes from
flowing out of sight? This refuge idea won't stop insects
from moving across boundaries.
That's absurd.
- Jeremy Rifkin

Because, in fact, women, feminists, do read my poetry,
and they read it often with the power of their political interpretation.
I don't care; that's what poetry is supposed to do.
- Diane Wakoski

No one person can possibly combine all the elements
supposed to make up what everyone means by friendship.
- Francis Marion Crawford

We are not supposed to go out and kill all those we
suspect to have committed a crime.
- Bianca Jagger

I thought the best thing you were supposed to do was
find somebody and try to sound like them.
- Ruth Brown

If you are you, 24 hours a day, then you do not have
to remember who you are supposed to be in different situations -
something that I imagine could be troublesome.
- Bill Dixon

We have more media than ever and more technology in our lives.
It's supposed to help us communicate,
but it has the opposite effect of isolating us.
- Tracy Chapman

To die is different from what any one supposed,
and luckier.
- Walt Whitman

If it had been what was supposed to happen,
it would have happened.
- Allan Houston

If you got a name like Barack Obama,
you're supposed to fight.
- Sinbad

Fortunately, I was supposed to look confused and disoriented because,
God, I felt that way.
- Dick York

Great emergencies and crises show us how much greater
our vital resources are than we had supposed.
- William James

I think you end up doing the stuff you were supposed
to do at the time you were supposed to do it.
- Robert Downey, Jr.

I would say this is not negative this is h,
a hard part in gymnastics.
You can't eat, whatever you want to eat.
And what kind of meal you're supposed to have,
you can't.
- Olga Korbut

According to our Christian ethics, we're supposed to love God,
love each other and help take care of the poor.
It is immoral to charge somebody making $5,000 an income tax.
- Bob Riley

My parents were involved in everything I did.
They were showbiz people themselves.
My dad was an actor.
They were parents; they did what parents are supposed to do.
- Tina Yothers

What I say is from my heart.
You must be sincere.
So when I sing a song, people are supposed to feel it.
- Wayne Wonder

The prosecutor, who is supposed to carry the burden of proof,
really is an author.
- Scott Turow

Life is supposed to get tough.
- Kelsey Grammer

A woman my age is not supposed to be attractive or sexually appealing.
I just get kinda tired of that.
- Kathleen Turner

It's supposed to be fun, the man says 'Play Ball' not 'Work Ball' you know.
- Willie Stargell

They act as if they supposed that to be very sanguine
about the general improvement of mankind is a virtue
that relieves them from taking trouble about any improvement in particular.
- John Morley

I did not hear her go or come back, but I supposed she went.
- Lizzie Andrew Borden

If I make a move, like raise my eyebrows,
some critic says I'm doing Nicholson.
What am I supposed to do, cut off my eyebrows?
- Christian Slater

We had this scene where I'm supposed to be bending over to get something.
I thought it was kind of cute.
- Melinda Clarke

I do not know that any writer has supposed that on
this earth man will ultimately be able to live without food.
- Thomas Malthus

Some actors are supposed to be very difficult,
but I've not found that to be the situation.
- Barry Levinson

I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good,
or make you feel miserable either.
Life is just supposed to make you feel.
- Gloria Naylor

We thought that's the way you were supposed to be if
you were in a rock 'n' roll band.
Flamboyant.
- David Johansen


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and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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