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We toast the Lisp programmer who pens his thoughts
by Alan Perlis

We toast the Lisp programmer who pens his thoughts
within nests of parentheses.
- Alan Perlis

I think it is inevitable that people program poorly.
Training will not substantially help matters.
We have to learn to live with it.
- Alan Perlis

If your computer speaks English, it was probably made in Japan.
- Alan Perlis

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
- Alan Perlis

 

In computing, turning the obvious into the useful is
a living definition of the word "frustration".
- Alan Perlis

In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm.
- Alan Perlis

The best book on programming for the layman is "Alice in Wonderland";
but that's because it's the best book on anything for the layman.
- Alan Perlis

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Computer Science is embarrassed by the computer.
- Alan Perlis

If you have a procedure with 10 parameters,
you probably missed some.
- Alan Perlis

Fools ignore complexity.
Pragmatists suffer it.
Some can avoid it.
Geniuses remove it.
- Alan Perlis

It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.
- Alan Perlis

Every program has two purposes: The one for which it
was written and another for which it wasn't.
- Alan Perlis

A programming language is low level when its programs
require attention to the irrelevant.
- Alan Perlis

Don't have good ideas if you aren't willing to be responsible for them.
- Alan Perlis

In English every word can be verbed.
Would that it were so in our programming languages.
- Alan Perlis

LISP programmers know the value of everything and the cost of nothing.
- Alan Perlis

Some programming languages manage to absorb change,
but withstand progress.
- Alan Perlis

A picture is worth 10K words - but only those to describe the picture.
Hardly any sets of 10K words can be adequately described with pictures.
- Alan Perlis

It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
- Alan Perlis

There are two ways to write error-free programs;
only the third one works.
- Alan Perlis

Simplicity does not precede complexity,
but follows it.
- Alan Perlis

You can measure a programmer's perspective by noting
his attitude on the continuing vitality of FORTRAN.
- Alan Perlis

Is it possible that software is not like anything else,
that it is meant to be discarded: that the whole point
is to always see it as a soap bubble?
- Alan Perlis

The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
- Alan Perlis

One man's constant is another man's variable.
- Alan Perlis

If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program,
wake him up.
- Alan Perlis

It goes against the grain of modern education to teach students to program.
What fun is there to making plans, acquiring discipline,
organizing thoughts, devoting attention to detail,
and learning to be self critical.
- Alan Perlis

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

There is a bright spot or two for the Spaniards.
French toast has become freedom toast on the Air Force One breakfast menu,
but the Spanish omelet is still a Spanish omelet.
- Suzanne Fields

That includes not cutting down the rain forest,
and stop polluting the ocean because once we kill the
coral reefs and the rain forest,
this earth is toast.
- Michael Berryman

Thanksgiving is nothing but a toast to genocide.
- Stephen Evans

With my wife I don't get no respect.
I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.'
The waiter joined me.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I became the toast of London.
A lot of people I met came from these really decadent
families where the married men were gay and no one
thought anything about it.
- Robert Mapplethorpe

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time".
So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
- Steven Wright

I've never cooked.
I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.
- Ethel Merman

So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet,
toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions,
a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda.
- John Steinbeck

I love my lifestyle now, but at the end of nine months,
you're toast.
You are toast.
It's like running a marathon.
You can't think while you're doing it.
Especially when different directors come in who are not part of the posse,
the circle.
- Christopher Meloni

I suppose I should learn Lisp, but it seems so foreign.
- Paul Graham

The intellectual property situation is bad and getting worse.
To be a programmer, it requires that you understand
as much law as you do technology.
- Eric Allman

If you're a musician or actor, you know that if you're successful,
some level of fame goes along with that.
You're prepared.
But how often does that happen to a programmer?
- Shawn Fanning

I am a composer, horn player, and computer programmer.
- Robert Patterson

And, I think that is actually appropriate because I'm
really not the world's best programmer,
I think it's a good thing that I'm not touching the code.
- Brian Behlendorf

Low-level programming is good for the programmer's soul.
- John Carmack

The three chief virtues of a programmer are:
Laziness,
Impatience and Hubris.
- Larry Wall

It always helps to be a good programmer.
It is important to like computers and to be able to
think of things people would want to do with their computers.
- Bill Budge

The mark of a mature programmer is willingness to throw
out code you spent time on when you realize it's pointless.
- Bram Cohen

The trouble with programmers is that you can never
tell what a programmer is doing until it's too late.
- Seymoure Cray

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull.
He therefore approaches his task with full humility,
and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
- Edsger Dijkstra

I am a programmer.
- Ken Thompson

God, our genes, our environment, or some stupid programmer
keying in code at an ancient terminal -
there's no way free will can ever exist if we as individuals
are the result of some external cause.
- Orson Scott Card

From the viewpoint of what you can do,
therefore, languages do differ - but the differences are limited.
For example, Python and Ruby provide almost the same power to the programmer.
- Yukihiro Matsumoto

Because of the nature of Moore's law,
anything that an extremely clever graphics programmer
can do at one point can be replicated by a merely competent
programmer some number of years later.
- John Carmack

Then I started graduate school at UCLA.
I got a part time research assistant job as a programmer
on a project involving the use of one computer to measure
the performance of another computer.
- Jon Postel

Programming is not a zero-sum game.
Teaching something to a fellow programmer doesn't take it away from you.
I'm happy to share what I can, because I'm in it for the love of programming.
- John Carmack

Banks have a new image.
Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker.
If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
- Alan King

Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.
- Jane Austen

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them,
but they riff.
- Carl Reiner

My two fingers on a typewriter have never connected with my brain.
My hand on a pen does.
A fountain pen, of course.
Ball-point pens are only good for filling out forms on a plane.
- Graham Greene

Rarely do pens go dry in restaurants.
- Nicholson Baker

We have a natural right to make use of our pens as of our tongue,
at our peril, risk and hazard.
- Voltaire

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic
young people off the job market and off the streets.
We stretch puberty out a long, long time.
- Toni Morrison

Tomorrow it'll all be over, then I'll have to go back to selling pens again.
- Johnny Depp

I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens
and I got sick of not caring.
- Mitch Hedberg

Not only are Christians writing about Jesus,
but also Communists, Jews, atheists and agnostics are
taking up their pens to paint a portrait of Jesus.
- John Clayton

I like pens.
My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase.
- Todd Barry

Let me pose you a question.
Can farm-raised salmon be organic when its feed has
nothing to do with its natural diet,
even if the feed itself is supposedly organic,
and the fish themselves are packed tightly in pens,
swimming in their own filth?
- Mark Bittman

The goal is to live a full, productive life even with all that ambiguity.
No matter what hap- pens, whether the cancer never
flares up again or whether you die,
the important thing is that the days that you have had you will have lived.
- Gilda Radner

I always carry lots of stuff with me wherever I roam,
always weighted down with books, with cassettes,
with pens and paper, just in case I get the urge to sit down somewhere,
and oh, I don't know, read something or write my masterpiece.
- Elizabeth Wurtzel

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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