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This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday...
by Art Buchwald

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday...
I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me -
Homeland Security.
- Art Buchwald

Related topics: Birthday

You can't make up anything anymore.
The world itself is a satire.
All you're doing is recording it.
- Art Buchwald

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American.
Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.
- Art Buchwald

 

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb,
a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
- Art Buchwald

I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough,
they will make you a member of it.
- Art Buchwald

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Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have
been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things
that haven't been taxed before.
- Art Buchwald

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.
- Art Buchwald

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times,
it's the only time we've got.
- Art Buchwald

I always wanted to get into politics,
but I was never light enough to make the team.
- Art Buchwald

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
- Art Buchwald

So far things are going my way.
I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die.
I don't know if this is true or not,
but I think some people,
not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.
- Art Buchwald

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be.
Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans
are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
- Art Buchwald

It is wonderful to have Faith,
but don't confuse trust with being gullible.
Balance trust with conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Appreciation is a wonderful thing.
It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
- Voltaire

Life is lived in the mists -
little is fully visible, less is certain.
Yet rejoice in the unknowing,
and let all of life be a wonderful adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Remember that not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment
before starting to improve the world.
- Anne Frank

Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson

I awakened. is that not a wonderful statement?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
- Alan Alda

Not getting what you want
is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
- Dalai Lama

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias

Dear Father in heaven, I'm not a praying man,
but if you're up there and you can hear me ...
show me the way... show me the way.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

I say all that happens is wonderful.
- Anais Nin

Happy Birthday!
Today is YOUR day to Dance Lightly With Life.
Have a wonderful day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Smile.
Today would be a wonderful day
not to take life so seriously.
Today may end up the way you prefer -
and it may not.
Happiness is not about being a winner -
it's about being gentle with life -
being gentle with yourself.
Let life be a dance,
and choose the kind of
dance you want for today -
perhaps a gentle loving dance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil.
If they would only expend the same
amount of energy loving their fellow men,
the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui.
- Helen Keller

Plant trees for your great-grandchildren -
for future generations.
Create the legacy of a better world.
Leave this world a better place than you found it.
Literally planting trees for
your great-grandchildren is a wonderful idea,
but far more important...
use this symbolism - this imagery -
to represent the kind of legacy
you want to leave to future generations.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Each man's life touches so many other lives.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

To the lover of wilderness,
Alaska is one of the most wonderful countries in the world.
- John Muir

The marvelous richness of human experience
would lose something of rewarding joy
if there were no limitations to overcome.
The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful
if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
- Helen Keller

God creates out of nothing. Wonderful you say.
Yes, to be sure, but he does what is still more wonderful:
he makes saints out of sinners.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- Ann Landers

Sandwiches are wonderful.
You don't need a spoon or a plate!
- Paul Lynde

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the
moment you get up in the morning and does not stop
until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who wants to live in an institution?
- Groucho Marx

I didn't want to marry anybody else in town.
I want my baby to look like you.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

My hope is that 10 years from now, after I've been
across the street at work for a while,
they'll all be glad they gave me that wonderful vote.
- Sandra Day O'Connor

Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here
to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
- Earl Wilson

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again,
so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly

A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen,
is that you can take it to bed with you.
- Daniel J. Boorstin

Home life's great, man.
The kids are great, happy and healthy.
I've reached this sort of wonderful precipice.
- Ryan Phillippe

The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful.
- e. e. cummings

You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world.
But it takes people to make the dream a reality.
- Walt Disney

Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful.
- Cindy Crawford

Someone who thinks the world is always cheating him is right.
He is missing that wonderful feeling of trust in someone or something.
- Eric Hoffer

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

I've had two proposals since I've been a widow.
I am a wonderful catch, you know.
I have a lot of money.
- Ruth Rendell

Family life was wonderful.
The streets were bleak.
The playgrounds were bleak.
But home was always warm.
My mother and father had a great relationship.
I always felt 'safe' there.
- Robert Cormier

I had a wonderful time with the Stones but after 31 years,
I thought it was time to move on.
- Bill Wyman

It's wonderful to travel with somebody that you love
and we never travel anywhere without one another.
- Roger Moore

I was proud to call Dr Rupert a friend.
He was always a wonderful source of support and kindness.
- Mangosuthu Buthelezi

I have known great things and wonderful persons,
and I have known homage.
- Lillie Langtry

Anything looked at closely becomes wonderful.
- A. R. Ammons

What a wonderful phenomenon it is, carefully considered,
when the human eye, that jewel of organic structures,
concentrates its moist brilliance on another human creature!
- Thomas Mann

So never lose an opportunity of urging a practical beginning,
however small, for it is wonderful how often in such
matters the mustard-seed germinates and roots itself.
- Florence Nightingale

The Government are very keen on amassing statistics -
they collect them,
add them, raise them to the nth power,
take the cube root and prepare wonderful diagrams.
- Josiah Stamp

Happy Days was a wonderful, wonderful experience and
I would not have traded it for the world.
- Marion Ross

Books were this wonderful escape for me because I could
open a book and disappear into it,
and that was the only way out of that house when I was a kid.
- Dean Koontz

You can get through your whole day only around people
who will tell you that you're wonderful.
But pretty soon they're going to have to be lying about that.
- Lara Flynn Boyle

Great relationships begin with two people who are each
self confident and who come to each other with the openness
to see and accept the other as a unique and wonderful person.
If there is true love and an alignment of fundamental values,
choose to join your life with your new partner
and vow never to criticize their nature -
the essence that makes them uniquely themselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

But no, I love acting, it's a wonderful job.
- Donald Sutherland

We hold that the most wonderful and splendid proof
of genius is a great poem produced in a civilized age.
- Thomas B. Macaulay


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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