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Andy Rooney Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Andy Rooney from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things
no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving
America a new sense of purpose.
- Andy Rooney

Related topics: Technology

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things,
but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
- Andy Rooney

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper.
About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer
is garbage that no one ever reads.
- Andy Rooney

 

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
- Andy Rooney

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
- Andy Rooney

If you smile when no one else is around,
you really mean it.
- Andy Rooney

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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets,
and the first thing is we try the phone book.
- Andy Rooney

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
- Andy Rooney

Death is a distant rumor to the young.
- Andy Rooney

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us.
Teachers have thousands of people who remember them
for the rest of their lives.
- Andy Rooney

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
- Andy Rooney

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though
and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing
this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
- Andy Rooney

People will generally accept facts as truth only if
the facts agree with what they already believe.
- Andy Rooney

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged;
it makes me think that the chef is spending too much
time arranging and not enough time cooking.
If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
- Andy Rooney

We're all proud of making little mistakes.
It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
- Andy Rooney

All men are not created equal but should be treated
as though they were under the law.
- Andy Rooney

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
- Andy Rooney

The only people who say worse things about politicians
that reporters do are other politicians.
- Andy Rooney

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television.
It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet.
A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
- Andy Rooney

Taxes are important.
President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind.
Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of
people they wish they were one of.
- Andy Rooney

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra
and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
- Andy Rooney

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance
of getting something right,
there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- Andy Rooney

The dullest Olympic sport is curling,
whatever 'curling' means.
- Andy Rooney

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
- Andy Rooney

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper,
I ask if they have any aged pepper.
- Andy Rooney

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching
the grass grow on the greens.
- Andy Rooney

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the
whole business because an army always tries to eliminate
the individual differences in men.
- Andy Rooney

Don't rule out working with your hands.
It does not preclude using your head.
- Andy Rooney

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened.
If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
- Andy Rooney

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census
form when it comes in the mail next month.
If you don't return the form the area you live in might
get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen,
would you.
- Andy Rooney

I don't think the government is out to get me or help
someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if
they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something.
I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
- Andy Rooney

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort -
the opening,
terror.
Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing -
the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
- Andy Rooney

Obscenities...
I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't
think of what they want to say and they're frustrated.
A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart -
want to be just one of the boys.
- Andy Rooney

The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine,
and it's probably a good thing.
We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds.
Some of the professionals are bad enough.
- Andy Rooney

The federal government has sponsored research that
has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect,
except that you can't eat it.
We should make every effort to make sure this disease,
often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
- Andy Rooney

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch.
It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the
players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey.
There are usually more fights than there are points.
- Andy Rooney

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

It is against everything we stand for to take a human life.
Making an exception to that code is a bleak thing.
- Sam, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie

Just smiling goes a long way toward
making you feel better about life.
And when you feel better about life, your life is better.
- Art Linkletter

Love is not a matter of counting the years,
but making the years count.
- Michele St. Amand

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

In Iroquois society, leaders are encouraged to
remember seven generations in the past and
consider seven generations in the future
when making decisions that affect the people.
- Wilma Mankiller

Well-being is making its way to you at all times.
If you will relax and find a way to allow it,
it will be your experience.
- Abraham (Esther Hicks)

Ninety-nine percent of the failures
come from people who have the habit of making excuses.
- George Washington Carver

The key to happiness is having dreams.
The key to success is making your dreams come true.
- Anonymous

The world you see has nothing to do with reality.
It is of your own making and does not exist.
- A Course In Miracles

You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)

What are you committed to?
Have you started, or are you still thinking about it -
and making excuses?
Do you work toward your goal each day?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The art of acceptance is the art of making someone
who has just done you a small favor
wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,
but by making the darkness conscious.
- Carl Jung

The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man's success in life.
- Edward Everett Hale

Inspiration is God making contact with itself.
- Ram Dass

I love you not only for what you are,
but for what I am when I am with you.
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for that part of me you bring out.
- Roy Croft

If you fear making anyone mad,
then you ultimately probe for
the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
- Jimmy Carter

Consider a parent who says,
"Look at the sacrifices I'm making so you can have a better life."
Contrast that with another parent who demonstrates
living a great life every day.
Self-sacrifice is not a virtue.
Living a great life and sharing that life with others
is the noble way to live.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I take every opportunity to articulate to others
the ways that they have blessed and influenced me.
I hold sweet memories of making the opportunity
to thank teachers who have influenced me.
I encourage everyone to seize opportunities
to tell people who have made a gift of knowledge or influence.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
- Mark Twain

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
- Samuel Butler

A father is always making his baby into a little woman.
And when she is a woman he turns her back again.
- Enid Bagnold

If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau

I sometimes talk about the making of a poem within the poem.
- Howard Nemerov

So, to really execute design in its highest form and making people feel joy,
that's a great reward.
- Genevieve Gorder

What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions.
- Arnold H. Glasow

Technology is making gestures precise and brutal,
and with them men.
- Theodor Adorno


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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