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Billy Connolly Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Billy Connolly from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again,
so is a bicycle repair kit.
- Billy Connolly

Related topics: Marriage

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.
- Billy Connolly

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow;
redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
- Billy Connolly

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
- Billy Connolly

 

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god,
and he's telling them all different things.
- Billy Connolly

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing.
I don't want to say I don't believe in God,
but I don't think I do.
But I believe in people who do.
- Billy Connolly

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey...
Doesn't try it on.
- Billy Connolly

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Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
- Billy Connolly

I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door.
I get my share.
I've done okay.
But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
- Billy Connolly

I love Los Angeles.
It reinvents itself every two days.
- Billy Connolly

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
- Billy Connolly

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a
nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
- Billy Connolly

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what
the army does with those wee red knives.
- Billy Connolly

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can
listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
- Billy Connolly

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
- Billy Connolly

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra...
I'm never likely to go there.
- Billy Connolly

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities.
I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
- Billy Connolly

I loved Japan.
I used to read a lot about it when I was a child.
And I always wanted to go.
And it was delightful.
I absolutely loved it.
What a smashing place.
- Billy Connolly

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s
in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism,
I wanted to see New York being built.
I wanted to see all that, you know.
- Billy Connolly

I don't believe in angels, no.
But I do have a wee parking angel.
It's on my dashboard and you wind it up.
The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space.
It's worked so far.
- Billy Connolly

I'm a citizen of the world.
I like it that way.
The world's a wonderful.
I just think that some people are pretty badly represented.
But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful.
They all want so little.
- Billy Connolly

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous PHOTO

Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell

For a happy marriage,
love and accept your spouse just the way they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix

You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The fewer secrets you have, the happier you will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A dream you dream alone is only a dream.
A dream you dream together becomes reality.
- John Lennon

The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother

Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson

Gift the love of your life with undistracted,
untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied
by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
- Iris Murdoch

My Loved One
You are my ground and you are my rainbow.
You are my butterfly and you are my ecstasy.
You are the start of my journeys and always my destination.
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors.
It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you.
Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do.
Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave,
and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.
Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there is such a thing as a good marriage,
it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.
- Michel de Montaigne

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage".
- Herbert Spencer

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce

Marriage should be a duet - when one sings,
the other claps.
- Joe Murray

Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.
- Sophia Bush

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.
- Colin Chapman

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

In every marriage more than a week old,
there are grounds for divorce.
The trick is to find, and continue to find,
grounds for marriage.
- Robert Anderson

If you want to read about love and marriage,
you've got to buy two separate books.
- Alan King

Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written
in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.
- Beverley Nichols

Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr

Marriage is a gamble, let's be honest.
- Yoko Ono

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master,
a mistress, and two slaves, making in all,
two.
- Ambrose Bierce

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract,
and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
- Isadora Duncan

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.
- Michel de Montaigne

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose
as a friend if he were a woman.
- Joseph Joubert

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
- Alan King

Staying married may have long-term benefits.
You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over
a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.
- St.
Jerome

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.
- Thornton Wilder

Marriage is the alliance of two people,
one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
- Ogden Nash

The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony


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May the world be kind to you,
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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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