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Dennis Miller Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Dennis Miller from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

Born again?!
No, I'm not.
Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
- Dennis Miller

Related topics: Religion

I rant, therefore I am.
- Dennis Miller

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as
you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller

One man's Voltaire is another man's Screech.
- Dennis Miller

 

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.
- Dennis Miller

Never ever discount the idea of marriage.
Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper.
Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold,
hard cash?
- Dennis Miller

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next
to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
- Dennis Miller

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What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly
hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show.
Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy.
- Dennis Miller

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
- Dennis Miller

I'm a comedian, for God's sake.
Viewers shouldn't trust me.
And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me.
I'm just doing stand-up comedy.
- Dennis Miller

The White House looked into a plan that would allow
illegal immigrants to stay in the United States.
The plan called for a million Mexicans to marry a million of our ugliest citizens.
- Dennis Miller

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming
global warming on the AIDS quilt.
- Dennis Miller

A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the
South is strongest amongst blacks.
Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious.
He is a white man who lives far, far away.
- Dennis Miller

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license
printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.
- Dennis Miller

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
- Dennis Miller

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here,
but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that
you're having too good a time.
- Dennis Miller

The only way the French are going in is if we tell
them we found truffles in Iraq.
- Dennis Miller

The average American's day planner has fewer holes
in it than Ray Charles's dart board.
- Dennis Miller

A recent police study found that you're much more likely
to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
- Dennis Miller

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
- Dennis Miller

Human beings are human beings.
They say what they want, don't they? They used to say
it across the fence while they were hanging wash.
Now they just say it on the Internet.
- Dennis Miller

If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he
attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.
- Dennis Miller

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.
- Dennis Miller

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio
address in both English and Spanish.
Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying
to figure out which one was which.
- Dennis Miller

Just put down 9/11...
I think, on most things I'm liberal,
except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money.
Those things I'm kind of conservative on.
- Dennis Miller

It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest
complaint is about not having enough time;
yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.
- Dennis Miller

I lapsed into rude.
- Dennis Miller

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right
until the moment our business is taken care of and
then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people.
It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.
- Dennis Miller

Police in Washington D.C.
are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights.
Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red
light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being
used for surveillance at local brothels.
- Dennis Miller

Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card,
because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of
us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction.
It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
- Dennis Miller

Even from the darkest night songs of beauty can be born.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach PHOTO

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

I have always been regretting that
I was not as wise as the day I was born.
- Henry David Thoreau

Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die,
the world cries and you rejoice.
- Indian Proverb

To everything there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1

A single event can awaken a stranger totally unknown to us.
To live is to be slowly born.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock

Children are born innocent.
Before they are domesticated they live in the moment,
love without fear, and don't even think about the opinions of others.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays

Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson

Everyone is born a genius,
but the process of living de-geniuses them.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Men are born to succeed, not to fail.
- Henry David Thoreau

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure about you.
We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
- Marianne Williamson

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone.
Only through our love and friendship can we
create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.
- Orson Welles

Love is what we were born with.
Fear is what we learned here.
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- Marianne Williamson

We are born princes, and the civilizing process makes us frogs.
- Publilius Syrus

Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin

Friends are born, not made.
- Henry Adams

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
- St. Francis of Assisi

I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo

Don't limit a child to your own learning,
for he was born in another time.
- Rabindranath Tagore

And when our baby stirs and struggles to be born
it compels humility: what we began is now its own.
- Margaret Mead

That I was born to this circle - I am blessed.
That I choose to stand in this circle - I am proud.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I will greet this day with love in my heart.
And how will I do this?
Henceforth will I look on all things with love and be born again.
I will love the sun for it warms my bones;
yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit.
I will love the light for it shows me the way;
yet I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars.
I will welcome happiness as it enlarges my heart;
yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul.
I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due;
yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.
- Og Mandino

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

In every society some men are born to rule,
and some to advise.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Born to be wild - live to outgrow it.
- Lao Tzu

We are born believing.
A man bears beliefs as a tree bears apples.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The novel is born of disillusionment;
the poem,
of despair.
- Jose Bergamin

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Most people think that anger is an instinctive response,
and that some people were just born with the temperament
to get angrier faster than others.
That statement is only half right.
Anger is an instinctive response.
We respond to an affront with anger essentially instantaneously -
much too quickly for conscious thought to be called upon.
But the instinct of the anger response
can be trained through conscious repetition,
visualization, and coaching.
Visualization is seeing the event
we desire to master in our mind's eye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.
- Lady Bird Johnson

We are all born for love.
It is the principle of existence, and its only end.
- Benjamin Disraeli

I was born in very sorry circumstances.
Both of my parents were very sorry.
- Norman Wisdom

Some people are born on third base and go through life
thinking they hit a triple.
- Barry Switzer

Immense power is acquired by assuring yourself in your
secret reveries that you were born to control affairs.
- Andrew Carnegie

I was born into the most remarkable and eccentric family
I could possibly have hoped for.
- Maureen O'Hara

Man always dies before he is fully born.
- Erich Fromm


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