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Elayne Boosler Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Elayne Boosler from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

Related topics: Funny

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers.
Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
- Elayne Boosler

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced
so they won't think something's wrong with me.
- Elayne Boosler

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
- Elayne Boosler

 

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty
years because even in biblical times,
men would not stop to ask for directions.
- Elayne Boosler

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
- Elayne Boosler

You never see a man walking down the street with a
woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
- Elayne Boosler

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When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
It's a whole different way of thinking.
- Elayne Boosler

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
- Elayne Boosler

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by
giving money to television preachers?
- Elayne Boosler

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
- Elayne Boosler

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
- Alfred, Lord Tennyson PHOTO

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

You have to wait six months to purchase a fuel efficient
automobile made from overseas.
- Ed Markey

When a father, absent during the day,
returns home at six, his children receive only his temperament,
not his teaching.
- Robert Bly

Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers -
six if one went to Harvard.
- Edgar R. Fiedler

Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
- John Lennon

When a man goes through six years training to be a
doctor he will never be the same.
He knows too much.
- Enid Bagnold

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore,"
shoot six,
and write down five.
- Paul Harvey

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm
not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

My doctor gave me six months to live,
but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
- Walter Matthau

There are six components of wellness:
proper weight and diet,
proper exercise, breaking the smoking habit,
control of alcohol, stress management and periodic exams.
- Kenneth H. Cooper

Treat your password like your toothbrush.
Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.
- Clifford Stoll

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree
and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver.
Then they would really be educated.
- Al McGuire

I'm in fact a hair under six feet, but I'm very svelte.
People would never see me if I turned sideways.
- Mo Rocca

I seem to find different material every four to six
months and I frequently forget it which is a shame
because it would be nice to have a bigger library.
- Leo Kottke

I escaped one time.
In 1971 I was in the free world for six weeks.
- Jack Henry Abbott

I only get to spend about six to eight weeks in Australia
now and I really miss my family and friends.
- Karrie Webb

A poet is a man who manages, in a lifetime of standing out in thunderstorms,
to be struck by lightning five or six times.
- Randall Jarrell

We now fly with an airbus, which has 210 seats,
six times the week to Palma to the spider of the air Berlin.
- Niki Lauda

I spent another six years in Europe covering sporting
events such as the Tour de France.
- John Tesh

Going back to Ireland involves at least six to seven
emotional breakdowns for me per day.
- Anjelica Huston

If we do not need to worship God six days in the week
why do we need to worship him on the seventh?
- Lemuel K. Washburn

So the idea that you could put Kurds,
Shiite Arabs, and Sunni Arabs in a nice,
liberal, federal system in Iraq in a short amount of time,
six months or a year, boggles the mind.
- William Odom

I was the youngest.
The yule lamb.
The one who always got away without doing the washing up.
My sister was four years older, and my brother six years.
- Jeremy Irons

Well, you can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig.
- Shemar Moore

It is a great shock at the age of five or six to find
that in a world of Gary Coopers you are the Indian.
- James Baldwin

Well, I was about six or seven, and my mother and father separated.
- David Dinkins

Every six months I fly to Dallas to get botox and I
also get collagen injections.
- Janice Dickinson

It's really impossible to project ahead even six months in this business.
- Julie London

After the departure of the land parties,
I embarked with six men on thursday,
the 21st april,
on board my newly made boat and began the descent of the river.
- William Henry Ashley

I was six months old at the time that I was taken,
with my mother and father, from Sacramento,
California, and placed in internment camps in the United States.
- Robert Matsui

There is no human bliss equal to twelve hours of work
with only six hours in which to do it.
- Anthony Trollope

I felt like an extraordinary hero.
I was only five or six and I had the whole of life in my hands.
Even if I had been driving the carriage of the sun
I could not have felt any better.
- Dario Fo

Us investigators who went out into the field were faced
on occasion with a lot of anger,
by people saying why has it taken you five or six year to come and see me?
- Tony Greig

The cholera had broken out at the post,
and five or six men were dying daily.
- Buffalo Bill

About six weeks later, she called because she had found a dress.
And then she said yes.
- Maury Povich

I think we had made some tremendous progress in the
six months before I left.
- Jeffrey Skilling

I wouldn't want the pressure of a Six Feet Under or
the pressure of improvising like Curb Your Enthusiasm.
- Robert Englund

All my six husbands married me for different reasons.
- Hedy Lamarr

By the time we went to Doctor Simon I think Barney
had been totally disabled for at least six months.
- Betty Hill

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show.
It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride.
You have to be six foot two or over.
- Jon Stewart

Both my parents were doctors, and my mother had her surgery in the house.
There were six children.
- Diane Cilento

I'd go to, like, six different schools in one year.
We were on welfare, and my mom never ever worked.
- Eminem

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six.
- Ted Lindsay

On the 27th we came to the Cascade Rapids.
The first or Little Cascade has about two feet fall,
the second or Grand Cascade, a mile farther,
is about a six foot sheer drop.
- Ernest Thompson Seton

I could write six songs in one day with everything that's going on.
- Alanis Morissette

If a politician murders his mother, the first response
of the press or of his opponents will likely be not
that it was a terrible thing to do,
but rather that in a statement made six years before
he had gone on record as being opposed to matricide.
- Meg Greenfield

I've taken up golf in the past five or six years,
and most of the time there aren't too many people out
there that can drive a ball further than I can.
- Bo Jackson

Give me six lines written by the most honorable of men,
and I will find an excuse in them to hang him.
- Cardinal Richelieu

I play a couple basic folks songs and break them down.
I did that on a six string.
I can't recall all the songs on it.
There's some finger picking on it.
- Roger McGuinn

I got my first trumpet when I was six years old,
from Al Hirt.
My father was playing in Al Hirt's band at that time.
- Wynton Marsalis

Years ago I realized that maybe I made mistake,
politically, when I turned a lot of that stuff down.
I would go off to obscure places and make movies that six people went to see.
- Mickey Rourke

Do your work for six years; but in the seventh,
go into solitude or among strangers,
so that the memory of your friends does not hinder
you from being what you have become.
- Leo Szilard

It's better to be known by six people for something
you're proud of than by 60 million for something you're not.
- Albert Brooks

Some twins feel like they need to compare themselves to each other,
but we're not that way.
That's because of my parents, though,
and having six kids in the family.
- Ashley Olsen


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