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Joey Adams Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Joey Adams from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the
refrigerator are so far apart,
some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
- Joey Adams

Related topics: Fitness

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams

If you break 100, watch your golf.
If you break 80, watch your business.
- Joey Adams

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
- Joey Adams

 

Marriage is give and take.
You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
- Joey Adams

The difference between playing the stock market and
the horses is that one of the horses must win.
- Joey Adams

Smack your child every day.
If you don't know why - he does.
- Joey Adams

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People are still willing to do an honest day's work.
The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.
- Joey Adams

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success.
'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
- Joey Adams

Do not worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older it will avoid you.
- Joey Adams

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened
told by people who weren't there.
- George Santayana

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
- Steven Wright

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?
- Al Boliska

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but
tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
- Sacha Guitry

You define a good flight by negatives:
you didn't get hijacked,
you didn't crash, you didn't throw up,
you weren't late, you weren't nauseated by the food.
So you are grateful.
- Paul Theroux

If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball,
most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.
- Charles Barkley

I can't remember too much about the '80s,
to be honest with you...
I wish that weren't true, but it is.
- Colin Hay

I would be surprised if there weren't some owners who
didn't want to get a deal done right now and get back to playing hockey.
- Luke Richardson

Your sons weren't made to like you.
That's what grandchildren are for.
- Jane Smiley

I think we in the Alpha Band, which was a strange group anyway,
weren't dealing with any of these issues.
They sneaked up on us and took us over,
before we know what was going on.
- T-Bone Burnett

What is a normal childhood? We weren't rich,
we were pretty middle-class.
My dad survived from job to job; with him taking care of so many relatives,
he couldn't save any money.
- Charlie Sheen

One of the biggest challenges we had in the first decade
was not that many people had personal computers.
There weren't that many people to sell to,
and it was hard to identify them.
- Steve Case

Germany is probably the richest country in Western Europe.
Yet they wouldn't take any television with Duke and Ella,
their reaction being that people weren't interested in it.
- Norman Granz

We set ourselves a limit and cut characters which weren't so vital.
- Dino De Laurentiis

You weren't going to the theater to change the world,
but you had a chance to affect the world,
the thinking and the feelings of the world.
- James Earl Jones

The Grateful Dead were an influence on our music but
they weren't by a long shot the biggest influence.
- Jon Fishman

I've never been more in love with anyone nearly half my age than I am today.
I'd get married in a minute if I weren't still married to somebody else.
- Rod Stewart

We were telling everybody we weren't getting back together
when we were in the studio actually recording.
We wanted to try it on, to see how it would fit.
- Nikki Sixx

When I started, there weren't that many kids doing it in the city,
but the in the wave after me there were a lot of them
and they actually never spoke to each other.
- Eric San

If fans are going to turn on me because of this,
they weren't my fans anyway.
I couldn't betray a whole 25 years of record making and not do this.
I had to.
- John Mellencamp

Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before.
- Mignon McLaughlin

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail,
I receive a ton of spam every day.
Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick.
It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.
- Bill Gates

Well, acting is cheap; I knew all these actors who
weren't in the Screen Actors Guild yet,
and it happened that they were all just about thirty years old.
- John Sayles

Bob Dylan's first couple of records in the 60's weren't
considered cover records,
but he only wrote one or two original songs on each album.
- John Mellencamp

I guess if I weren't an actor, I'd be a history professor.
- Tom Berenger

I realized how quickly you could eat up a lot of time
and money if you weren't prepared.
- Jim Messina

Acting means living, it's all I do and all I'm good at.
If I weren't getting paid well, I would still be acting
in a small troupe somewhere.
- Morgan Freeman

They didn't sell, people just weren't used to the idea of living in apartments.
- Harry Seidler

There's that thing about the '80s, the '40s and the '60s,
and the '30s, the '50s and the '70s.
Something about those odd decades in this century that weren't too pleasant.
- Paul Kantner

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed,
the stream would have no song.
- Carl Perkins

I don't think I can tell any stories about how I lived in a van in Alaska.
I grew up in the suburbs, I even had my own room.
We weren't poor.
Everything was very normal.
- Lisa Loeb

That was my one big Hollywood hit, but,
in a way, it hurt my picture career.
After that, I was typecast as a lion,
and there just weren't many parts for lions.
- Bert Lahr

I think people were just starving for good material
because they just weren't getting it on the radio.
- John Oates

Many athletes competing in Atlanta wouldn't be here
if it weren't for corporate support.
- Mary Lou Retton

We weren't put here to be miserable.
We were put here to do the best we can,
and we should take our energy and improve our state of being.
- Lenny Kravitz

If we weren't all crazy, we'd just go insane.
- Jimmy Buffett

Drugs, were a symptom - they weren't the cause of anything.
- Wayne Kramer

Back in the old Corp, we weren't training those privates
to infiltrate into the peacetime Marine Corp.
We were training those privates to go to Vietnam.
- R. Lee Ermey

In the 1980s, there weren't a lot of role models for gay teenagers.
- Mary Cheney

I would probably be a teacher if I weren't a comedian.
- Brad Garrett

Our characters were antiseptic but we weren't.
And if you remember what we did on BATMAN,
as the scripts were written very funny,
we played them very straight.
- Burt Ward

We weren't built to fly.
We can do it, but we shouldn't be surprised if it feels a little unnatural.
- Picabo Street

I know it shouldn't make a difference,
but crossing the dateline, we weren't sure what day it was -
it was very strange.
Now, I seem to cope with it better.
- Phil Collins

Sometimes people need a kick in the pants to get them
to do what they would be doing if government weren't
there as a perpetual parent.
- Cal Thomas

You could afford your house without the government
if it weren't for the government.
- Rush Limbaugh

We've managed to have a long career that is still quite vibrant,
yet we've never had to kow-tow to record companies
who said we weren't commercial enough.
- Alex Lifeson

I have known lots of adults who enjoyed similar enthusiasms
as a kid and weren't encouraged and then didn't go
anywhere with it and so they're unhappy in their jobs as adults.
- William Joyce

They were looking for a stable, but we didn't have one.
In fact, we weren't very stable ourselves.
- Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I gave the couple a hint of a design that would work
great with the bones of their home.
They weren't ready for it, and they embarrassed themselves and that's too bad.
- Douglas Wilson

What helped me most were my failures and slumps -
when I couldn't get work,
people weren't interested in me or had written me off.
- Frank Langella

I think if I weren't so beautiful, maybe,
I'd have more character.
- Jerry Hall

The audience that surprised us the most was definitely Paris,
when we played there last.
They were just incredibly into us and we weren't expecting it at all.
- Jon Crosby

But I was singing loud, and most singers weren't singing loud.
- Little Richard

They weren't crazy.
They were tired of being locked up.
Even I could see that.
- Kate Millett

We weren't One Hit Wonders.
We had a few hits.
- Gary Cherone

Character isn't something you were born with and can't change,
like your fingerprints.
It's something you weren't born with and must take
responsibility for forming.
- Jim Rohn

I grew up in a family where we weren't allowed to talk
about beauty or to put any emphasis on physical appearance.
- Pam Grier

When you go into court you are putting your fate into
the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
- Norm Crosby

I wrote several articles criticizing psychoanalysis,
but the analysts weren't listening to my objections.
So I finally quit after practicing it for six years.
- Albert Ellis

Little things in my past that I really thought were
over and done with were still elements of the puzzle
that weren't pieced together,
and so she helped me do that.
- Marie Osmond

Kurt and I weren't the closest of friends,
but I knew him well enough to be devastated by his death.
For such a quiet person, he was so excited about having a child.
- Layne Staley


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