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Johnny Carson Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Johnny Carson from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow,
but phone calls taper off.
- Johnny Carson

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time,
most unsolved.
- Johnny Carson

If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead.
- Johnny Carson

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
- Johnny Carson

 

Talent alone won't make you a success.
Neither will being in the right place at the right time,
unless you are ready.
The most important question is: "Are your ready?"
- Johnny Carson

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing,
a bank robbery has just taken place.
- Johnny Carson

We're more effective than birth control pills.
- Johnny Carson

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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose
them in time for Christmas.
- Johnny Carson

When turkeys mate they think of swans.
- Johnny Carson

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue
to grow but phone calls taper off.
- Johnny Carson

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of
television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
- Johnny Carson

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt
and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
- Johnny Carson

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
- Johnny Carson

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
- Johnny Carson

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.
- Johnny Carson

Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.
- Johnny Carson

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
- Johnny Carson

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
- Johnny Carson

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the
impersonators would be dead.
- Johnny Carson

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president,
and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
- Johnny Carson

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking,
sex, and rich food.
He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
- Johnny Carson

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy.
If you're happy in what you're doing,
you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace.
And if you have that, along with physical health,
you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.
- Johnny Carson

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous PHOTO

Some days are simply meant for playing.
- Mary Anne Radmacher PHOTO

May love and laughter light your days,
and warm your heart and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours,
wherever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world
with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons
bring the best to you and yours.
- Irish Blessing

It is the quality of the moment,
not the number of days, or events, or of actors, that imports.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
- e. e. cummings

I find hope in the darkest of days,
and focus in the brightest.
I do not judge the universe.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

How we spend our days is of course
how we spend our lives.
- Annie Dillard

If you are patient in one moment of anger,
you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.
- Chinese Proverb

These are not dark days -
these are great days.
- Winston Churchill

May you live all the days of your life.
- Jonathan Swift

It is of the small joys and little pleasures
that the greatest of our days are built.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The years teach much which the days never know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

May a thread of comfort be woven through your difficult days.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

A day spent without the sight or sound of beauty,
the contemplation of mystery,
or the search of truth or perfection
is a poverty-stricken day; and a succession
of such days is fatal to human life.
- Lewis Mumford

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

A sloth lives a pretty good life, s-l-o-w-l-y.
Maybe we have something to learn from him.
Some days, being sloth-like may be just what you need
to avoid being consumed by urgency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In your days - things like this happen to you...
You get a tap, a nudge, a gentle shake,
and life whispers to you, "I know you're tired -
but I don't want you to miss this."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The power of intuitive understanding
will protect you from harm until the end of your days.
- Lao Tzu

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

Life is a journey. It is not a race to test
who can finish first or who can end up with the most loot.
Rather, life is best enjoyed as a meander -
watching the view to left and right - above and below -
as the days slowly move past in dress review.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Your worst days are never so bad
that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.
And your best days are never so good
that you are beyond the need of God's grace.
- Anonymous

Old friends pass away, new friends appear.
It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives.
The important thing is to make it meaningful:
a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for
days on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

The car trip can draw the family together,
as it was in the days before television when parents
and children actually talked to each other.
- Andrew H. Malcolm

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

Life repeats itself mindlessly -
unless you become mindful, it will go on repeating like a wheel.
That's why Buddhists call it the wheel of life and death,
the wheel of time.
It moves like a wheel: birth is followed by death,
death is followed by birth;
love is followed by hate, hate is followed by love;
success is followed by failure,
failure is followed by success. Just see!
If you can watch just for a few days,
you will see a pattern emerging, a wheel pattern.
One day, a fine morning, you are feeling so good and so happy,
and another day you are so dull,
so dead that you start thinking of committing suicide.
And just the other day you were so full of life,
so blissful that you were feeling thankful to God,
that you were in a mood of deep gratefulness,
and today there is great complaint
and you don't see the point why one should go on living...
And it goes on and on, but you don't see the pattern.
Once you see the pattern, you can get out of it.
- Osho

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Any healthy man can go without food for two days -
but not without poetry.
- Charles Baudelaire

Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When a noble life has prepared old age,
it is not decline that it reveals, but the first days of immortality.
- Muriel Spark

Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult.
It's not.
Mine had me trained in two days.
- Bill Dana

Reminds me of my safari in Africa.
Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days
we had to live on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields

If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau

I can't let important policy decisions hinge on the
fact that an election is coming up every 90 days.
- Gerhard Schroeder

We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time
capsules in order to give those people living in the
next century or so some idea of what we are like.
- Alfred Hitchcock

O Day of days when we can read!
The reader and the book, either without the other is naught.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

In youth the days are short and the years are long.
In old age the years are short and day's long.
- Pope Paul VI

It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which
occur more frequently in memory than in life.
- P. D. James

For some days, people thought that India was shaking.
But there are always tremors when a great tree falls.
- Rajiv Gandhi

What's taken God 200 years to create was wiped out
in a couple of days by what was apparently an arsonist,
And it just shows you what a sick world we live in nowadays.
- Bill Janklow


Quotes and Sayings

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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