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Johnny Vegas Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Johnny Vegas from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older,
I'm grumpy and terrible with them.
As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party,
you couldn't pay me enough.
- Johnny Vegas

Related topics: Birthday

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to
do it is another question altogether.
- Johnny Vegas

My work's never been accepted by my family,
but it's something I'll always carry on with.
- Johnny Vegas

I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.
- Johnny Vegas

 

I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama.
It's my own paranoia.
- Johnny Vegas

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without
a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.
- Johnny Vegas

We all have days where we can't pronounce things or
give it the emotion it deserves.
- Johnny Vegas

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They look outside the windows of their apartment in
town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore.
This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.
- Johnny Vegas

I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting,
and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.
- Johnny Vegas

I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly,
so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.
- Johnny Vegas

Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!
- Johnny Vegas

For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual
leader for people for some reason.
- Johnny Vegas

I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll
see if any other interesting parts come up.
- Johnny Vegas

You can sway an audience if you win the women over.
The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times,
they are easily led.
- Johnny Vegas

My forte is playing drunks down the ages.
When my agent rings me about a role,
I don't ask what the part is,
but what century it's in.
- Johnny Vegas

Up North you are holding your own.
Everyone considers themselves a comedian.
- Johnny Vegas

There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay.
Which suggests that he is, but he's not.
Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.
- Johnny Vegas

This autocue was obviously written for someone else
and I've been brought in at the last minute.
- Johnny Vegas

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out
on stage and felt the fear.
- Johnny Vegas

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars,
I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.
- Johnny Vegas

I use very few muscles at the best of times.
- Johnny Vegas

I also want to return to doing stand-up.
I've become frightened of live audiences.
This is a really telling sign that I need to go back
on the comedy circuit again.
- Johnny Vegas

With stand-up you've just got that one chance.
Audiences can be quite fickle.
- Johnny Vegas

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now,
I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their
taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of
aesthetic care can overcome that.
- Johnny Vegas

We had a week off in the middle of shooting,
but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with
six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.
- Johnny Vegas

I trained to be a priest - started to.
I went to seminary school when I was 11.
I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex,
not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.
- Johnny Vegas

There's this idea that it has to be made in London.
But we've got everything up here, and if you've got
comics who are gifted because of where they're from,
you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource.
- Johnny Vegas

A great secret of success is to go through life
as a man who never gets used up.
- Albert Schweitzer

Win as if you were used to it,
lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We cannot solve our problems with the same
thinking we used when we created them.
- Albert Einstein

Be a yardstick of quality.
Some people aren't used to an environment
where excellence is expected.
- Steve Jobs

I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try to understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.
- Arundhati Roy

Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.
- Elbert Hubbard

In those days he was wiser than he is now;
he used to frequently take my advice.
- Winston Churchill

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

It's just random chance, baby; get used to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I offer my body, my mind
and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O Infinite Creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose
to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work,
and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered
to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Life should not be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming, "Wow! What a Ride!"
- Hunter S. Thompson

Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young,
the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.
- John Ciardi

I used to be hung up on my figure, but it's a waste of time.
I don't believe in diets.
Have four pints one night, be healthy the next.
- Sophie Ellis Bextor

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
- David Lee Roth

Some dreamers demand that scientists only discover
things that can be used for good.
- John Charles Polanyi

I wouldn't attach too much importance to these student riots.
I remember when I was a student at the Sorbonne in Paris,
I used to go out and riot occasionally.
- John Foster Dulles

Moral power is probably best when it is not used.
The less you use it the more you have.
- Andrew Young

I have been through various fitness regimes.
I used to run about five miles a day and I did aerobics for a while.
- Sting

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way
so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
- Emo Philips

"Think simple" as my old master used to say -
meaning reduce the whole of its parts
into the simplest terms,
getting back to first principles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

There is nothing in the world of art like the songs mother used to sing.
- Billy Sunday

The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be.
- Paul Valery

My mother used to tell me man gives the award,
God gives the reward.
I don't need another plaque.
- Denzel Washington

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down -
at least he did until he dropped dead.
- Cesar Romero

As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used,
and have failed repeatedly, in real applications.
- Dave Parnas

I'm not used to feeling so human.
Is it always like this?
- Edward, from Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer

Most people consider the course of events as natural and inevitable.
They little know what radical change are possible through prayer.
Every morning I offer my body, my mind and any ability that I posses,
to be used by Thee, O infinite creator,
in whatever way Thou dost choose to express Thyself through me.
I know that all work is Thy work, and that no task is too difficult
or too menial when offered to Thee in loving service.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Nobody climbs mountains for scientific reasons.
Science is used to raise money for the expeditions,
but you really climb for the hell of it.
- Edmund Hillary

We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions.
- Ted Koppel

When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed.
I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly.
He cut the legs off the bed.
- Lou Brock

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

I used to want to be a lawyer, but I didn't want to
have half my brain sucked out.
- Max Walker

Style used to be an interaction between the human soul
and tools that were limiting.
In the digital era, it will have to come from the soul alone.
- Jaron Lanier

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar
haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
- Sam Ewing

I used to lie in bed in my flat and imagine what would
happen if there was a zombie attack.
- Simon Pegg

I think I've discovered the secret of life -
you just hang around until you get used to it.
- Charles M. Schulz

As a little girl I used to daydream about my real father
coming on a white horse to rescue me.
- Christine Keeler

Lawsuits should not be used to destroy a viable and
independent distribution system.
The solution lies in the marketplace and not the courtroom.
- Don Henley

It is only after years of preparation that the young
artist should touch color -
not color used descriptively,
that is, but as a means of personal expression.
- Henri Matisse


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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