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Joseph Heller Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Joseph Heller from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered
that I was unfit for military service.
- Joseph Heller

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
- Joseph Heller

Rise above principle and do what's right.
- Joseph Heller

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
- Joseph Heller

 

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations,
give or take a dentist.
- Joseph Heller

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity,
and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
- Joseph Heller

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
- Joseph Heller

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I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether
and leave the whole field to private individuals.
- Joseph Heller

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
- Joseph Heller

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones,
because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
- Joseph Heller

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of
war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
- Joseph Heller

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
- Joseph Heller

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity,
and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
- Joseph Heller

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long
time since we've had any.
- Joseph Heller

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged
them in alphabetical order so that he could put his
finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
- Joseph Heller

Every writer I know has trouble writing.
- Joseph Heller

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed,
no matter which side he's on.
- Joseph Heller

When I read something saying I've not done anything
as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply,
"Who has?"
- Joseph Heller

But that was war.
Just about all he could find in its favor was that
it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious
influence of their parents.
- Joseph Heller

I think in every country that there is at least one
executive who is scared of going crazy.
- Joseph Heller

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way.
When it isn't, don't call it destiny;
call it injustice,
treachery, or simple bad luck.
- Joseph Heller

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the
MBE received theirs for heroism in the war -
for killing people.
We received ours for entertaining other people.
I'd say we deserve ours more.
- Joseph Heller

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22.
Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't,
but if he was sane he had to fly them.
If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to;
but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.
- Joseph Heller

I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore PHOTO

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet PHOTO

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather PHOTO

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard PHOTO

As for accomplishments,
I just did what I had to do as things came along.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

We thought that we had the answers,
it was the questions we had wrong.
- Bono

The only good luck many great men ever had was
being born with the ability and determination to overcome bad luck.
- Channing Pollock

Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

What work I have done I have done because it has been play.
If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
- Mark Twain

I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax.
- Abraham Lincoln

I never had a policy;
I have just tried to do my very best each and every day.
- Abraham Lincoln

It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I had forgotten how much light there is in the world,
'til you gave it back to me.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

I wept because I had no shoes
until I met a man who had no feet.
- old Persian Proverb

I have had dreams, and I have had nightmares.
I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.
- Jonas Salk

If i had known... i would have lingered
over my coffee a little longer.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

Anger is a killing thing:
it kills the man who angers,
for each rage leaves him less than he had been before -
it takes something from him.
- Louis L'Amour

Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.
It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;
it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
- Margaret Thatcher

I have found that hollow,
which even I had relied on for solid.
- Henry David Thoreau

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela

We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him,
for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low,
could still be saved; the bitterest enemy
and also he who was your friend could again be your friend;
love that has grown cold can kindle
- Soren Kierkegaard

If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Ever had a bad hair day -
a day when everything seemed to be going wrong?
Perhaps today is a day to soothe your ruffled feathers,
take a deep breath, and reaffirm that
the weight of the world is really not on your shoulders,
unless you choose to assume that burden.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is only when we truly know and understand
that we have a limited time on earth
and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up
that we will begin to live each day to the fullest,
as if it were the only one we had.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

When we quarrel, how we wish we had been blameless.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's what learning is, after all;
not whether we lose the game,
but how we lose and h
ow we've changed because of it
and what we take away from it
that we never had before,
to apply to other games.
Losing, in a curious way, is winning.
- Richard Bach

No stream rises higher than its source.
Whatever man might build, could never
express or reflect more than he was.
He could record neither more nor less
than he had learned of life.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life,
and see if I could not learn what it had to teach,
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
- Henry David Thoreau

Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans

The soul would have no rainbow,
Had the eyes no tears.
- John Vance Cheney

I am certainly not an authority on love because there
are no authorities on love,
just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
- Bill Cosby

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

I recognize that the person I was in my past
is not the person I am today.
That person did the very best they could,
given the knowledge, emotions, and prior experience
they had to draw upon at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Suppose our gratitude could be zero-based gratitude.
With zero-based gratitude,
we would be grateful for everything we had each day -
regardless of whether it was more or less than yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude, I can be grateful for all the people,
the love, the food, the shelter, the services,
the health, that I am blessed with today,
regardless of what I had yesterday.
With zero-based gratitude,
I can be grateful each day for the gift of life itself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

I tried to remember how to exhale.
I had to look away before it came back to me.
- Bella, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

It's YOUR time - it's YOUR life -
YOU get to choose how you use it. T
here is no way that your life is "supposed" to be.
Your parents had their vision for your life.
Your boss, your spouse, your church, your friends,
and even the family next door have their ideas
of how you should live your life.
What about YOUR vision for your life?
What do YOU want?
YES, it matters what you want.
YES you can have what you want.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children
is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia:
it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- Bill Cosby

Civilization had too many rules for me,
so I did my best to rewrite them.
- Bill Cosby

Essentially all suffering is the result of...
1. Comparing what we have (or don't have) today
... with what we had yesterday.
2. Comparing what we fear we might have (or not have) tomorrow)
... with what we have today.
3. Comparing what we have (or don't have) with what others have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


Quotes and Sayings

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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