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Lewis Grizzard Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Lewis Grizzard from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find
a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard

Related topics: Marriage

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
- Lewis Grizzard

I don't think I'll get married again.
I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you.
Dogs just want to please.
Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
- Lewis Grizzard

 

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes,
but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.
- Lewis Grizzard

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts
while eating a homegrown tomato.
- Lewis Grizzard

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house.
I never slept alone until after I was married.
- Lewis Grizzard

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If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
- Lewis Grizzard

The game of life is a lot like football.
You have to tackle your problems, block your fears,
and score your points when you get the opportunity.
- Lewis Grizzard

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland PHOTO

Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To know what you prefer
instead of humbly saying Amen
to what the world tells you you ought to prefer,
is to have kept your soul alive.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Instead of worrying about what people say of you,
why not spend time trying to accomplish
something they will admire.
- Dale Carnegie

Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts,
cause your mind to dwell on peace and joy.
- Ernest Holmes

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Love is saying "I feel differently,"
instead of "You're wrong."
- Anonymous

Instead of needing lots of children,
we need high-quality children.
- Margaret Mead

Instead of comparing our lot with that
of those who are more fortunate than we are,
we should compare it with the lot
of the great majority of our fellow men.
It then appears that we are among the privileged.
- Helen Keller

In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong

Trust your own instinct.
Your mistakes might as well be your own,
instead of someone else's.
- Billy Wilder

Instead of being presented with stereotypes
by age, sex, color, class, or religion,
children must have the opportunity
to learn that within each range,
some people are loathsome and some are delightful.
- Margaret Mead

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

I offer gentle understanding to myself.
I position myself in love, not fear.
I look behind me with forgiveness.
I look forward with festive anticipation.
I embrace this holy moment and assert,
"Now. This moment is the moment to love,
the moment to serve, the moment to seize
the legacy instead of the small.
Now. Now I will live large, love boldly,
reach to the edges of my unfurled heart and fully enrolled hope.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

We need to become good citizens in the global village,
instead of competing.
What are we competing for - to drive more cars,
eat more steaks? That will destroy the world.
- Yuan T. Lee

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young
must seek advice and counsel from "Dear Abby" instead of going to Mom and Dad.
- Abigail Van Buren

Everything is blooming most recklessly;
if it were voices instead of colors,
there would be an unbelievable shrieking into the heart of the night.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago,
Catholic school children would be wearing little electric
chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
- Lenny Bruce

Instead of noblemen,
let us have noble villages of men.
- Henry David Thoreau

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city,
it might be better to change the locks.
- Doug Larson

The left dismisses talk about the collapse of family
life and talks instead about the emergence of the growing
new diversity of family types.
- Christopher Lasch

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
-Sheri Rosenthal

People are getting smarter nowadays;
they are letting lawyers,
instead of their conscience, be their guide.
- Will Rogers

My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier,
you will become a general.
If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.'
Instead,
I was a painter, and became Picasso.
- Pablo Picasso

Everything is discursive opinion instead of direct experience.
- A. R. Ammons

If everyone demanded peace
instead of another television set,
then there'd be peace.
- John Lennon

We waste time looking for the perfect lover,
instead of creating the perfect love.
- Tom Robbins

We need a data network that can easily carry voice,
instead of what we have today, a voice network struggling to carry data.
- Reed Hundt

If instead of a gem, or even a flower,
we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend,
that would be giving as the angels give.
- George MacDonald

Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes

Politics, it seems to me, for years,
or all too long,
has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
- Richard Armour

The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination
to see how much he can give for a dollar,
instead of how little he can give for a dollar,
is bound to succeed.
- Henry Ford

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee

If you look at the data, the inner city that was the
riot zone lost 55,000 jobs in the ten years from 1992 to 2002,
instead of gaining a surplus of 50,000.
- Tom Hayden

I had the honor of speaking with Asimov.
The album ended up being something not directly related to Asimov,
but related instead to the concept of the power of robotics.
- Alan Parsons

Hollywood could use less instead of more of everything.
- Bruce Davison

I knew the profanity used up and down my street would not go over the air...
So I trained myself to say 'Holy Cow' instead.
- Harry Caray

Why are there beings at all, instead of Nothing?
- Martin Heidegger

We will be safer from terrorist attack only when we
have earned the respect of all other nations instead of their fear,
respect for our values and not merely our weapons.
- Theodore C. Sorensen

If we should have to fight, we should be prepared to
so so from the neck up instead of from the neck down.
- Jimmy Doolittle

I missed out on my teenage years.
I led a sheltered life.
I was practicing scales instead of playing football.
- John Cale

Iteration, like friction, is likely to generate heat instead of progress.
- George Eliot

Satan is wiser now than before, and tempts by making rich instead of poor.
- Alexander Pope

But I think the bomb instead constitutes merely a first
step in a new control by man over the forces of nature
too revolutionary and dangerous to fit into old concepts.
- Henry L. Stimson

Oftentimes, small business owners are unable to obtain
reasonably priced financing and instead turn to higher priced forms of capital,
such as credit cards.
- Melissa Bean

Number one, that it is smart to communicate and negotiate
with your enemy instead of just waging war with bombs
and weapons of mass destruction.
- Theodore C. Sorensen

Anyway, I went out and bought thousands of dollars
worth of mature clothes so I'd look like a person to be taken seriously,
instead of a pretty little twit.
- Shelley Duvall

My mind started wandering.
I started playing carefully, instead of playing the
way that had gotten me to that point.
I had to force myself to keep driving the ball.
- Tracy Austin

Don't try to be like Jackie.
There is only one Jackie.
Study computers instead.
- Jackie Chan

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism
and advice instead of compliments,
he forgets that it was not his good judgment,
but his charming manners, that won her heart.
- Helen Rowland

Your representative owes you, not his industry only,
but his judgment; and he betrays instead of serving
you if he sacrifices it to your opinion.
- Edmund Burke

If you cut off your arm instead of going 'spurt,
spurt, spurt' wouldn't it, like, go nuts? Or would
it go with the beat of your heart?
- Elijah Wood

This is the first time in my 32 years in public broadcasting
that PBS has ordered up programs for ideological instead of journalistic reasons.
- Bill Moyers

A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth.
Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay,
it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world.
- Maurice Chevalier

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying.
It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.
- Dale Carnegie

I got started when I was 3 years old because my father
was a music teacher and my lessons were free.
Instead of learning to walk, you learn to play the piano.
- Carla Bley

Instead of hating, I have chosen to forgive and spend
all of my positive energy on changing the world.
- Camryn Manheim

They wanted Guy Middleton instead of Kenneth More,
and even Kay Kendall wasn't their first choice!
- Dinah Sheridan

I wonder anybody does anything at Oxford but dream and remember,
the place is so beautiful.
One almost expects the people to sing instead of speaking.
It is all like an opera.
- William Butler Yeats

Instead of taking environmentalism away from the left,
conservatives condemn it as a counsel of doom.
- Christopher Lasch

You get tragedy where the tree, instead of bending,
breaks.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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