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Paul Krassner Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Paul Krassner from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

For years, reality has been nipping at the heels of satire.
Now, it's finally caught up.
I don't need to make this stuff up.
- Paul Krassner

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.
- widely misattributed to Mark Twain PHOTO

The years teach much which the days never know.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
- Anonymous

 

If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

And in the end, it's not
the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln

It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.
- Eddie Cantor

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Love is not a matter of counting the years,
but making the years count.
- Michele St. Amand

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;
if in terms of ten years, plant trees;
if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.
- Confucius

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,
but delicious in the years of maturity.
- Albert Einstein

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand PHOTO

Almost nothing you worry about today
will matter in a hundred years.
Think carefully about what you can focus on today.
Choose tasks that will actually make a positive difference
to your great-grandchildren.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you plan for a year, plant a seed.
If for ten years, plant a tree.
If for a hundred years, teach the people.
When you sow a seed once, you will reap a single harvest.
When you teach the people, you will reap a hundred harvests.
- Kuan Chung

Anger is a destructive emotion
that becomes instinctive over the years.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

Old is always fifteen years from now.
- Bill Cosby

You can close more business in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.

I have spent many years of my life in opposition,
and I rather like the role.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong

Might I perhaps win my wings?
I've been waiting for over 200 years now, sir,
and people ARE beginning to talk.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck,
but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
- Steven Wright

While one finds company in himself and his pursuits,
he cannot feel old, no matter what his years may be.
- Amos Bronson Alcott

When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb.
After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to
find out how much he'd learned in three years.
- Frank Butler

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago,
Catholic school children would be wearing little electric
chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
- Lenny Bruce

I will never be an old man.
To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
- Francis Bacon

People in cities may forget the soil for as long as a hundred years,
but Mother Nature's memory is long and she will not
let them forget indefinitely.
- Henry Cantwell Wallace

What we've gone through in the last several years has
caused some people to question 'Can we trust Microsoft?'
- Steve Ballmer

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for
thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.
The original meal has never been found.
- Calvin Trillin

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
- Mary Schmich

How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not
for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?
- Logan P. Smith

When a man goes through six years training to be a
doctor he will never be the same.
He knows too much.
- Enid Bagnold

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

It is only after years of preparation that the young
artist should touch color -
not color used descriptively,
that is, but as a means of personal expression.
- Henri Matisse

I decided I wanted to be a lawyer when I was 11 years of age.
- Johnnie Cochran

The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide
which particular representatives of the oppressing
class are to represent and repress them.
- Karl Marx

There is always some specific moment when we become
aware that our youth is gone;
but,
years after, we know it was much later.
- Mignon McLaughlin

The way you think, the way you behave,
the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years.
- Deepak Chopra

I spent the first fourteen years of my life convinced
that my looks were hideous.
Adolescence is painful for everyone,
I know,
but mine was plain weird.
- Uma Thurman

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
- Rupert Brooke

The concept of two people living together for 25 years
without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit
only to be admired in sheep.
- A. P. Herbert

Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about
your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
- Grantland Rice

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.
- John Burroughs

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.
We grow old by deserting our ideals.
Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.
- Samuel Ullman

In youth the days are short and the years are long.
In old age the years are short and day's long.
- Pope Paul VI

To be seventy years young is sometimes
far more cheerful and hopeful
than to be forty years old.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel.
I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping
bag down in the basement.
It's humiliating.
- Ben Affleck

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.
- E. B. White

I haven't spoken to my wife in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

I have been dairy free for several years,
and I started because I felt it was going to reduce my allergies,
which it did, and help me lose weight,
which it did.
- Fran Drescher

At twenty years of age the will reigns;
at thirty, the wit;
and at forty, the judgment.
- Benjamin Franklin

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat.
There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra
three years in the geriatric ward.
- John Mortimer

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain

My teenage years were exactly what they were supposed to be.
Everybody has their own path.
It's laid out for you.
It's just up to you to walk it.
- Justin Timberlake

People - not just in their teenage years -
hold on to this fantasy of love when they're not ready
to have a real relationship.
- Keri Russell

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family
belonged to another church.
- Paul Lynde

Smartness runs in my family.
When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was
in my class for five years.
- Gracie Allen

Give me a couple of years, and I'll make that actress an overnight success.
- Samuel Goldwyn

The modern assault on the environment began about 50 years ago,
during and immediately after World War II.
- Barry Commoner

Everyone has an opinion on many subjects
and is ready to share those opinions -
labeling them as "truth."
Sometimes it is relatively easy
to filter out these opinions.
Upon hearing an ad for the latest
weight-loss powder on late-night TV,
our skepticism leaps to our defense.
However, if we have heard the same opinion for years
from our parents, friends,
government officials, or religious leaders,
we are more likely to believe without questioning
than to raise our filter of skepticism
and ask the hard questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.
- Frederick Douglass

Politics, it seems to me, for years,
or all too long,
has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
- Richard Armour

I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old.
He didn't invite me and so I showed up.
- Isla Fisher

I haven't, in the 23 years that I have been in the
uniformed services of the United States of America,
ever violated an order - not one.
- Oliver North


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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