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Ronnie Barker Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Ronnie Barker from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
- Ronnie Barker

To get a job where the only thing you have to do in
your career is to make people laugh-well,
it's the best job in the world.
- Ronnie Barker

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning
is that it can only mean one thing.
- Ronnie Barker

We were called The Toilets originally -
we were flushed with success.
- Mike Peters

 

Why do I continue making movies? Making movies is better than cleaning toilets.
- Klaus Kinski

I'd find it demeaning to be cleaning toilets.
- Jack Kevorkian

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash
register open and the toilets locked.
They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.
- Joey Bishop

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If they had told me I was the janitor and would have
to mop up and clean the toilets after the show in order to play,
I probably would have done it.
- Bruce Springsteen

I can install toilets.
I know all about the wax ring.
I can tile floors.
I'm learning how to do basic wiring.
- Sandra Bullock

Tonight the city is full of morgues,
and all the toilets are overflowing.
There's shopping malls coming out of the walls,
as we walk out among the manure.
That's why I pay no mind.
- Beck

I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30,
and people are pointing at me, saying,
Look at the big movie star.
Look where he is now.
I just said, I'm where God put me.
- Willie Aames

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach PHOTO

Follow your bliss and doors will open
where there were no doors before.
- Joseph Campbell

We would never have a word for Joy
if there were no suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Half of everything you were ever taught is wrong;
the question is which half.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson

All that is necessary to break the spell
of inertia and frustration is this:
Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande

The journey between what you once were
and who you are now becoming
is where the dance of Life really takes place.
- Barbara De Angelis

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison

Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity.
Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.
- Max Lucado

Act as if it were impossible to fail.
- Dorthea Brande

You see things and you say, Why?
But I dream things that never were and say, Why not
- George Bernard Shaw

While they were saying among themselves
it cannot be done, it was done.
- Helen Keller

There are those that look at things
the way they are, and ask "Why?"
I dream of things that never were, and ask "Why not?"
- Robert F. Kennedy paraphrase of George Bernard Shaw

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self,
can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.
- Soren Kierkegaard

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die,
the world cries and you rejoice.
- Indian Proverb

Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free
and realizing you were the prisoner!
- Max Lucado

Whenever you do a thing,
act as if all the world were watching.
- Thomas Jefferson

Win as if you were used to it,
lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true
were really true, there would be little hope of advance.
- Orville Wright

The problems of the world cannot possibly
be solved by skeptics or cynics
whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.
We need men who can dream of things that never were.
- John F. Kennedy

Who were you before you put yourself last.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

So your father, or your mother,
never thought you were good enough - SO WHAT?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We act as though comfort and luxury
were the chief requirements of life,
when all that we need to make us really happy
is something to be enthusiastic about.
- Charles Kingsley

Hide not your talents,
they for use were made.
What's a sundial in the shade?
- Benjamin Franklin

Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith

If I were to wish for anything,
I should not wish for wealth and power,
but for the passionate sense of potential -
for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible.
Pleasure disappoints; possibility never.
- Soren Kierkegaard

What if it were only an illusion?
Perhaps life is not as threatening as it appears.
Perhaps the greatest threat to our serenity
is our fear of the future -
our fear of the unknown.
Perhaps, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said,
"The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The word "happiness" would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
- Carl Jung

When we hate our enemies, we are
giving them power over us:
power over our sleep, our appetites,
our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Our enemies would dance with joy if only
they knew how they were worrying us,
lacerating us, and getting even with us!
Our hate is not hurting them at all,
but our hate is turning our own days
and nights into a hellish turmoil.
- Dale Carnegie

Love is what we were born with.
Fear is what we learned here.
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- Marianne Williamson

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet
as if they were going to be dead by midnight.
Extend to them all the care,
kindness and understanding you can muster,
and do with no thought of any reward.
Your life will never be the same again.
- Og Mandino

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure about you.
We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
- Marianne Williamson

I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo

"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

If you were a warrior,
you would know that the worst thing
one can do is confront human beings directly.
- Carlos Castaneda

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

The good news is that you aren't
as important as you thought you were.
Relax. The weight of the world
is not on your shoulders.
Take a day off.
Go for a long silent walk in the woods.
The world will still be there tomorrow -
as good and as bad as ever.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We could never learn to be brave and patient,
if there were only joy in the world.
- Helen Keller

Naturally, every age thinks that all ages before it were prejudiced,
and today we think this more than ever, and are just as wrong
as all previous ages that thought so.
How often have we not seen the truth condemned!
It is sad but unfortunately true that man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow

Live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago?
Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy
on account of most of them?
Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?
- Dale Carnegie

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

The world moves, and ideas that were
once good are not always good.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It is only when we truly know and understand
that we have a limited time on earth
and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up
that we will begin to live each day to the fullest,
as if it were the only one we had.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

How true Daddy's words were when he said:
all children must look after their own upbringing.
Parents can only give good advice
or put them on the right paths,
but the final forming of a person's character
lies in their own hands.
- Anne Frank

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness,
and the word happy would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better take things as they come along
with patience and equanimity.
- Carl Jung

We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child.
Things never get back to the way they were.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I know why families were created with all their imperfections.
They humanize you.
They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally,
so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed.
- Anais Nin

If all misfortunes were laid in one common heap
whence everyone must take an equal portion,
most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
- Socrates

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what
you were worrying about one year ago today.
- E. Joseph Cossman

The marvelous richness of human experience
would lose something of rewarding joy
if there were no limitations to overcome.
The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful
if there were no dark valleys to traverse.
- Helen Keller

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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