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Sarah Silverman Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Sarah Silverman from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
- Sarah Silverman

You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage
is all they talk about offstage.
- Sarah Silverman

Relations between black and white would be greatly
improved if we were more accepting of our fears and
our feelings and more vocal about it.
- Sarah Silverman

By the time I would have graduated, at 22,
I was a writer and featured performer on Saturday Night Live.
- Sarah Silverman

 

I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
- Sarah Silverman

I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it.
- Sarah Silverman

I really think everything is fair game.
- Sarah Silverman

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I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.
- Sarah Silverman

I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
- Sarah Silverman

The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.
- Sarah Silverman

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the
silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.
- Sarah Silverman

That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.
- Sarah Silverman

It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word
is only as powerful or harmless as the emotion behind it.
- Sarah Silverman

But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.
- Sarah Silverman

Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny,
even if it's harsh or racist.
- Sarah Silverman

And then before going back for my sophomore year,
I decided to change my major to arts and sciences,
and my dad cut a deal with me: He said if I'd quit
school he'd pay my rent for the next three years,
as if I were in school.
- Sarah Silverman

Love is the flower you've got to let grow.
- John Lennon PHOTO

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain PHOTO

Every time you hear a bell ring,
it means that some angel's just got his wings.
- It's a Wonderful Life (1946 movie)

If you want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll

There comes a time when the mind
takes a higher plane of knowledge
but can never prove how it got there.
- Albert Einstein

It is no use saying, "We are doing our best."
You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.
- Winston Churchill

If we want a love message to be heard,
it has got to be sent out.
To keep a lamp burning,
we have to keep putting oil in it.
- Mother Teresa

It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline
when you're a winner, when you're number one.
What you've got to have is faith and discipline
when you're not yet a winner.
- Vince Lombardi

None of us got where we are solely by
pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.
- Thurgood Marshall

Hardly a man in the world has an opinion
upon morals, political, or religion
which he got otherwise than
through his associations and sympathies.
- Mark Twain

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant.
You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard
or just think it's going to get on by itself.
You've got to keep watering it.
You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
- John Lennon

My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you
before you can move on.
- the movie Forrest Gump

You're just left with yourself all the time,
whatever you do anyway.
You've got to get down to your
own God in your own temple.
It's all down to you, mate.
- John Lennon

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Love is the answer, and you know that for sure;
Love is a flower, you've got to let it grow.
- John Lennon

Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
which I have got a hold of for the moment,
and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
- George Bernard Shaw

I wasn't always black...
there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.
- Bill Cosby

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages
that holds the key to breaking our
cycle of self-imposed suffering.
The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair."
This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news!
Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong.
God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation.
The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood.
Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that
life was "supposed" to be "fair,"
and all the trouble started -
expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger -
a whole cycle of suffering that began
with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

"Mother Teresa Prayer"
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
... Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
... Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some
false friends and some true enemies;
... Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
... Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
... Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
... Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
... Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
... Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
We can do no great things - only small things with great love.
- although commonly attributed to Mother Teresa,
who kept a copy of this prayer on
the wall of her Calcutta orphanage,
this prayer was actually written by Kent Keith.

Let us not be satisfied with just giving money.
Money is not enough, money can be got,
but they need your hearts to love them.
So, spread your love everywhere you go.
- Mother Teresa

If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married,
and another list of the reasons for their divorce,
you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
- Mignon McLaughlin

Anybody who thinks money will make you happy,
hasn't got money.
- David Geffen

I wanted to know the name of every stone
and flower and insect and bird and beast.
I wanted to know where it got its color, where it got its life -
but there was no one to tell me.
- George Washington Carver

I had to stop driving my car for a while...
the tires got dizzy.
- Steven Wright

If you got the game, you got the game.
That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.
- Shaquille O'Neal

I had my moments when I got very frightened that I would not recover.
- Fran Drescher

Most people never run far enough on their first wind
to find out they've got a second.
- William James

It's a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square.
- Pete Rose

I met an American woman and got married so I had to get a job.
- Walter Wager

Mommy smoked but she didn't want us to.
She saw smoke coming out of the barn one time,
so we got whipped.
- Loretta Lynn

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me.
- Antonio Villaraigosa

I've got all the money I'll ever need,
if I die by four o'clock.
- Henny Youngman

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

I got the bill for my surgery.
Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.
- James H. Boren

It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.
- Olin Miller

It takes more than just a good looking body.
You've got to have the heart and soul to go with it.
- Epictetus

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
- Henny Youngman

I've had an exciting time; I married for love and got
a little money along with it.
- Rose Kennedy

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one.
So I got a cake.
- Mitch Hedberg

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

For my confirmation, I didn't get a watch and my first pair of long pants,
like most Lutheran boys.
I got a telescope.
My mother thought it would make the best gift.
- Wernher von Braun

Mother Nature may be forgiving this year,
or next year, but eventually she's going to come around and whack you.
You've got to be prepared.
- Geraldo Rivera

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I
think everything will be alright.
- Alice Thomas Ellis

If you can change three lives in 10,
three lives in a hundred,
that's got to be good, hasn't it?
- Ian Botham

A policy is a temporary creed liable to be changed,
but while it holds good
it has got to be pursued with apostolic zeal.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.
- Langston Hughes


Quotes and Sayings

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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