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Tim Allen Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Tim Allen from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn
care and vehicle maintenance.
- Tim Allen

Related topics: Car

Electricity can be dangerous.
My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug.
Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor.
I told him he was grounded.
- Tim Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari,
sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
- Tim Allen

Men are liars.
We'll lie about lying if we have to.
I'm an algebra liar.
I figure two good lies make a positive.
- Tim Allen

 

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot.
The judge had suggested I get my act together,
and I took him seriously.
- Tim Allen

Men are pigs.
Too bad we own everything.
- Tim Allen

Never comment on a woman's rear end.
Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end."
Never.
Avoid the area altogether.
Trust me.
- Tim Allen

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Women now have choices.
They can be married, not married, have a job,
not have a job, be married with children,
unmarried with children.
Men have the same choice we've always had:
work,
or prison.
- Tim Allen

Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and
humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy,
they're fun, they do things together,
they're best friends.
Kids learn by example.
If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom.
- Tim Allen

I wanted to escape so badly.
But of course I knew I couldn't just give up and leave school.
It was only when I heard my mom's voice that I came out of my hiding place.
- Zhang Ziyi

If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect I'll have hell to pay.
- Larisa Oleynik

My mom taught us the Serenity Prayer at a young age.
- Toby Keith

I was always at peace because of the way my mom treated me.
- Martina Hingis

Throughout my life, my mom has been the person that
I've always looked up to.
- Mike Krzyzewski

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone.
To put her to sleep, I have to sing "Maria" from West Side Story.
When I hear her snoring, I hang up.
- Adam Sandler

I'm sure that my mom would have been happy with any path I chose.
- Joely Fisher

I auditioned on my own.
I tried to make a mark for myself without anybody's help,
not even Mom's.
- Kate Hudson

I basically became a cheerleader because I had a very strict mom.
That was my way of being a bad girl.
- Sandra Bullock

I guess I was a mom so late in life,
my daughter was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
- Candice Bergen

My mom is definitely my rock.
- Alicia Keys

Everyone checks out my mom.
My mom's hot.
- Ashley Scott

My sisters and mom raised me to respect women and open doors for them.
- Milo Ventimiglia

My mom always said that there would be haters.
Not everyone can love ya.
- Joel Madden

I was a brownie for a day.
My mom made me stop.
She didn't want me to conform.
- Sandra Bullock

I'm a Mommy's Girl - the strongest influence in my young life was my mom.
- Susie Bright

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.
- Victor Hugo

The babe at first feeds upon the mother's bosom,
but it is always on her heart.
- Henry Ward Beecher

What do girls do who haven't any mothers to help them through their troubles?
- Louisa May Alcott

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me.
- Antonio Villaraigosa

Motherhood has a very humanizing effect.
Everything gets reduced to essentials.
- Meryl Streep

Children are the anchors of a mother's life.
- Sophocles

Motherhood is priced Of God, at price no man may dare
To lessen or misunderstand.
- Helen Hunt Jackson

The woman is uniformly sacrificed to the wife and mother.
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism
and become a fearless is mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly -
indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection.
- Arianna Huffington

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face.
- George Eliot

A mother's happiness is like a beacon,
lighting up the future but reflected also on the past
in the guise of fond memories.
- Honore de Balzac

Morality and its victim, the mother -
what a terrible picture!
Is there indeed anything more terrible,
more criminal, than our glorified sacred function of motherhood?
- Emma Goldman

There are only two things a child will share willingly;
communicable diseases and its mother's age.
- Benjamin Spock

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
- Ambrose Bierce

I may be the only mother in America who knows exactly
what their child is up to all the time.
- Barbara Bush

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because
they are more certain they are their own.
- Aristotle

Mothers don't let your daughters grow up to be models unless you're present.
- Janice Dickinson

The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.
When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe.
You relinquish that position to your children.
- Jessica Lange

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.
- Barbara Kingsolver

I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet,
there would be no more wars.
- E. M. Forster

My parents, especially my mother, were no influence on me whatsoever.
- Andy Partridge

Who's a boy gonna talk to if not his mother?
- Donald E. Westlake

Mother's love is peace.
It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.
- Erich Fromm

Motherhood is...
difficult and...
rewarding.
- Gloria Estefan

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League
uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
- Erma Bombeck

My mother used to tell me man gives the award,
God gives the reward.
I don't need another plaque.
- Denzel Washington

My mother said to me, 'If you are a soldier,
you will become a general.
If you are a monk, you will become the Pope.'
Instead,
I was a painter, and became Picasso.
- Pablo Picasso

I think while all mothers deal with feelings of guilt,
working mothers are plagued by guilt on steroids!
- Arianna Huffington

I've been through it all, baby, I'm mother courage.
- Elizabeth Taylor

I am no mother, and I won't be one.
- Brigitte Bardot

I stand fearlessly for small dogs, the American Flag,
motherhood and the Bible.
That's why people love me.
- Art Linkletter

When motherhood becomes the fruit of a deep yearning,
not the result of ignorance or accident,
its children will become the foundation of a new race.
- Margaret Sanger

Motherhood is the strangest thing, it can be like being one's own Trojan horse.
- Rebecca West

Of all the roles I've played, none has been as fulfilling as being a mother.
- Annette Funicello

Only mothers can think of the future -
because they give birth to it in their children.
- Maxim Gorky

Motherhood is at its best when the tender chords of
sympathy have been touched.
- Paul Harris

What is free time? I'm a single mother.
My free moments are filled with loving my little girl.
- Roma Downey

My mother taught me about the power of inspiration and courage,
and she did it with a strength and a passion that I wish could be bottled.
- Carly Fiorina

My mother was a personal friend of God's.
They had ongoing conversations.
- Della Reese

I owe much to mother.
She had an expert's understanding, but also approached art emotionally.
- David Rockefeller

My mother taught me to treat a lady respectfully.
- Chris Brown

I am truly my mother's son.
- David Geffen

When you have a good mother and no father,
God kind of sits in.
It's not enough, but it helps.
- Dick Gregory

My mother worked in factories, worked as a domestic,
worked in a restaurant, always had a second job.
- Ed Bradley

The man in our society is the breadwinner;
the woman has enough to do as the homemaker,
wife and mother.
- Dorothy Fields


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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