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Wil Wheaton Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Wil Wheaton from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

My wife is the most awesome person in the universe.
She's made this experience much less miserable for me,
with her compassion, patience and understanding.
- Wil Wheaton

I'm guess I'm up to about 70% of normal,
which is a real relief.
My doctor gave me clearance to go out in public again,
so I've been able to go to the store and help out a
little bit around the house.
- Wil Wheaton

If the world were a bar, America would currently be
the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun.
Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him,
but they sure as hell don't respect him.
- Wil Wheaton

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

 

Never in any case say I have lost such a thing, but I have returned it.
Is your child dead? It is a return. Is your wife dead? It is a return.
Are you deprived of your estate? Is not this also a return?
- Epictetus

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

A son is a son till he takes him a wife,
a daughter is a daughter all of her life.
- Irish Traditional

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I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children
is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia:
it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- Bill Cosby

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage:
the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby

A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon

By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
- E. Joseph Cossman

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

When a man opens a car door for his wife,
it's either a new car or a new wife.
- Prince Philip

There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me
want to run home to be with my wife.
- Steven Curtis Chapman

The man in our society is the breadwinner;
the woman has enough to do as the homemaker,
wife and mother.
- Dorothy Fields

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher...
or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.
- Douglas Adams

My wife and I have so much fun when we travel and find anything...
like stray cats and squirrels.
- Eric Roberts

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when
two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife,
confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
- Homer

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home,
and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
- Martin Luther

You shall not covet your neighbor's house;
you shall not covet your neighbor's wife,
nor his male servant, nor his female servant,
nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.
- Exodus 20:17

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
First, let her think she's having her own way.
And second, let her have it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson

I don't think my wife likes me very much,
when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
- Frank Carson

Don't forget Mother's Day.
Or as they call it in Beverly Hills,
Dad's Third Wife Day.
- Jay Leno

I got up with my wife, I sat down at the computer when she went to work,
and I didn't stop until she got home.
- George Stephen

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
- James H. Boren

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
- Joey Adams

It's tough to stay married.
My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
- Rodney Dangerfield

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but
tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
- Sacha Guitry

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress;
when I get tired of one,
I spend the night with the other.
- Anton Chekhov

He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home,
and broods a nest of sorrows.
- Jeremy Taylor

One man's folly is another man's wife.
- Helen Rowland

The woman is uniformly sacrificed to the wife and mother.
- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

If I had no family, my wife and I would lead a much
more romantic and nomadic existence.
- David McCallum

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him.
Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.
- Harold MacMillan

A man's home is his wife's castle.
- Alexander Chase

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I'm a fun father, but not a good father.
The hard decisions always went to my wife.
- John Lithgow

A woman must combine the role of mother,
wife and politician.
- Emma Bonino

The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
- Cyril Connolly

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife
an electric skillet for her birthday.
- Erma Bombeck

I haven't spoken to my wife in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police
because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
- Ilie Nastase

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.
- David Ogilvy

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him
is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.
- Barry Goldwater

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
- Michel de Montaigne

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

Caesar might have married Cleopatra,
but he had a wife at home.
There's always something.
- Will Cuppy

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

I'm not a real movie star.
I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
- Will Rogers

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Basically my wife was immature.
I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
- Woody Allen

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him Healthy Choice also.
- Mike Ditka

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife;
she has thought much worse things about you.
- Jean Rostand

The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope
that keeps up a wife's spirits.
- John Gay

Sitting around the house playing the wife and mother is driving me crazy.
- Patsy Cline

You can't stay married in a situation where you are
afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat.
- Mike Tyson

There is nothing I have to reflect on that gives me
more satisfaction than the fact that my life is insured
for the benefit of my Dear Wife and children.
- Ezra Cornell

It's about a young man who has climbed to fame and
he discovers that his writing and the relationship
with his wife are really more important for him than anything else.
- Ismail Merchant

The only thing I like more than my wife is my money,
and I'm not about to lose that to her and her lawyers,
that's for damn sure.
- Jon Bon Jovi

I know one man who was impotent who gave AIDS to his
wife and the only thing they did was kiss.
- Pat Robertson

I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife,
but they are doing the same thing.
- Prince Philip

I have good looking kids.
Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
- Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was delighted with the home I had given her
amid the prairies of the far west.
- Buffalo Bill

My wife is beginning to instruct me on means to retrieve dreams,
and bit by bit, it does seem to be working.
- Theodore Sturgeon


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