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Funerals Quotes

I hope you find great value in these Quotes about Funerals from my large collection of inspirational quotes and motivational sayings.

Depressions may bring people closer to the church but so do funerals.
- Clarence Darrow

Always go to other people's funerals,
otherwise they won't come to yours.
- Yogi Berra

You should always go to other people's funerals,
otherwise, they won't come to yours.
- Yogi Berra

I'm more interested in the meaning of funerals and
the mourning that people do.
It's not a retail experience.
It's an existential one.
- Thomas Lynch

 

I never go to funerals.
To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time.
After that, your memories should be personal.
- Hedy Lamarr

If you don't go to other men funerals they won't go to yours.
- Clarence Day

They say such nice things about people at their funerals
that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
- Garrison Keillor

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These funerals always appear to me the more indecent in a populous city,
from the total indifference of the beholders,
and the perfect unconcern with which they are beheld.
- Karl Philipp Moritz

I have always loved the process of making the music,
reading the letters from the fans who get married to my music,
have children to my music and play my music at their funerals.
- Wynonna Judd

It matters not what your individual position is on
either war we are currently prosecuting -
in Iraq or Afghanistan -
certainly we can all agree protesting at military funerals
is a cruel and unnecessary hardship on our military
families during their most difficult hour.
- Solomon Ortiz

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
- Eddie Cantor

Time, an untamed beast,
awaits its funeral feast.
I choose inner peace.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

Let no one weep for me, or celebrate my funeral with mourning;
for I still live,
as I pass to and fro through the mouths of men.
- Quintus Ennius

Anything awful makes me laugh.
I misbehaved once at a funeral.
- Charles Lamb

Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner
at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam.
- Olin Miller

The first funeral for Andrew Goodman was at night and it was a lot of work.
To begin with they had to kill him.
- Jimmy Breslin

I seldom go into a natural history museum without feeling
as if I were attending a funeral.
- John Burroughs

When I was 7 years old, I put on shows for everyone at my grandpa's funeral.
I was always the little entertainer.
- Natalie Portman

My own funeral, I'd like to be laid out in a coffin in my own house.
I would like my coffin to be put in the double parlor,
and I would like all the flowers to be white.
- Anne Rice

An obituary should be an exercise in contemporary history,
not a funeral oration.
- Peter Utley

I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die.
- Maria Edgeworth

And whoever walks a furlong without sympathy walks
to his own funeral drest in his shroud.
- Walt Whitman

As soon as people see my face on a movie screen,
they knew two things: first, I'm not going to get the girl,
and second, I'll get a cheap funeral before the picture is over.
- Lee Marvin

You can have money piled to the ceiling but the size
of your funeral is still going to depend on the weather.
- Chuck Tanner

Funeral by funeral, theory advances.
- Paul Samuelson

If you want to really know what your friends and family think of you die broke,
and then see who shows up for the funeral.
- Gregory Nunn

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic;
in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.
- George Ade

I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself,
just the fact that I was breathing.
- Chuck Palahniuk

To the solemn graves, near a lonely cemetery,
my heart like a muffled drum is beating funeral marches.
- Charles Baudelaire

It's bad taste to be wise all the time,
like being at a perpetual funeral.
- David Herbert Lawrence

I had a friend who was a clown.
When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
- Steven Wright

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense
delivered after the evidence is all in.
- Irvin S. Cobb

Worldly faces never look so worldly as at a funeral.
They have the same effect of grating incongruity as
the sound of a coarse voice breaking the solemn silence of night.
- George Eliot

I got asked by a freelance journalist to jump in front
of Princess Diana's funeral.
How pathetic is that? That would have been the stupidest thing on the planet.
- Mark Roberts

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral
is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.
- Samuel Goldwyn

When I die, I'll probably climb out of the coffin and
play the organ at my own funeral!
- Rick Wakeman

What men prize most is a privilege, even if it be that
of chief mourner at a funeral.
- James Russell Lowell

Rome - the city of visible history, where the past
of a whole hemisphere seems moving in funeral procession
with strange ancestral images and trophies gathered from afar.
- George Eliot

But there, everything has its drawbacks,
as the man said when his mother-in-law died,
and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.
- Jerome K. Jerome

The Nobel is a ticket to one's own funeral.
No one has ever done anything after he got it.
- T. S. Eliot

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral,
the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

If anyone at my funeral has a long face,
I'll never speak to him again.
- Stan Laurel

Success is a public affair.
Failure is a private funeral.
- Rosalind Russell

Each family of the United States military now attends
to their loved ones funeral with a wrenching worry
that it will be met possibly with a protest or a demonstration.
- Steve Buyer

It is like visiting one's funeral, like visiting loss
in its purest and most monumental form,
this wild darkness, which is not only unknown but which
one cannot enter as oneself.
- Harold Brodkey

The formal Washington dinner party has all the spontaneity
of a Japanese imperial funeral.
- Simon Hoggart

We make mistakes, we have our faults,
and God knows some of us have more than our share,
but when danger threatens and duty calls,
we go smiling to our own funeral.
- James Larkin

When a nation's young men are conservative,
its funeral bell is already rung.
- Henry Ward Beecher

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead.
He's dead, then he's alive, then dead,
then alive.
It's just confusing.
Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral.
- David Letterman

I checked myself out in that funeral parlour scene.
I saw myself laughing, because there was a shot of
Ed and I together and Mary was right in back of us.
My head turned from the camera and I saw myself laughing,
because Mary was absolutely brilliant in that thing.
- Gavin MacLeod

When elected officials abandon our environment and
ruin our natural resources,
public health is endangered.
I know the importance of providing a clean environment for our children;
I have attended more than one funeral for a child who
has died from an asthma attack.
- Gwen Moore

I shall never forget the despair and agony on the parents'
faces on the awful day of the funeral when the 13 little children,
victims not only of John D. Rockefeller, but of the
government of the state of Colorado were buried.
- Ella R. Bloor

If we have another 2,000 people killed,
I want Nancy Pelosi and George Soros,
John Conyers and Pat Leahy to go to the funeral and say,
'Your son was vaporized because we didn't want to dump
some guy's head under water for 30 seconds.'
- Peter King

Michael died five years ago this January,
and the first thing that really struck me about the
script was the part about her peeling off from the
funeral and just getting into a rowboat and having
a real kind of cry where nobody was.
- Judi Dench

I wanted to make a human monster.
His name is Coffin Baby.
The idea is based on a group of people from Pasadena
whose names I can't mention.
His mother died and during the funeral,
this baby came out of her in the coffin.
- Tobe Hooper

Laura Bush went on national television during the week
of my father's funeral and spoke out against embryonic stem cell research,
pointing out that where Alzheimer's is concerned,
we don't have proof that stem-cell treatment would be effective.
- Patti Davis

Put no inscription over the grave, except the date
of my birth and my death;
and,
wherever I am buried, let the funeral be perfectly private,
with as few persons attending, and as little show and expense as possible.
- Isaac Butt

I have a hat.
It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity,
as if I were attending a state funeral or something.
Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it,
instead of carrying it.
- Erma Bombeck

He came to the States in 1963, I think with a view
to making up with my mother,
but that didn't work.
He came for three weeks, and drank his way all over Brooklyn.
And went back...
I went to his funeral in Belfast.
- Frank McCourt

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love,
trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.
The order varies for any given year.
- Paul Sweeney

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
- James Thurber

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash

For years my wedding ring has done its job.
It has led me not into temptation.
It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties
that it's time to go home.
It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion.
It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
- Erma Bombeck

Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
- John Heywood

The first thing I did when I sold my book was buy a
new wedding ring for my wife and asked her to marry me all over again.
- Nicholas Sparks


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