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Funny Life Quotes

I hope you find great value in these Funny Life Quotes from my large collection of inspirational and motivational quotes and sayings.

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Related topics: Inspirational Life Human-Nature Psychology Live-By Cute Whimsey Funny Wisdom Humor

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde PHOTO

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill PHOTO

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 

Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

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My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Smoking kills.
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields

My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

There are only three things women need in life:
food,
water, and compliments.
- Chris Rock

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
- Groucho Marx

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill

It's funny how most people love the dead,
once you're dead your made for life.
- Jimi Hendrix

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half
the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.
- Will Rogers

I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life.
It's not very funny, but it's sincere.
My commitment is to sincerity.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun

I do like any kind of project that has both comedy
and drama in it because in life you don't have one
day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic.
- Topher Grace

We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now,
while we can, with the people we love.
Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again.
- Sheena Easton

People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life.
- Mark Ruffalo

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
- Quentin Crisp

I made the choice long ago to write about real life.
And life is both serious and funny.
- Paula Danziger

Stealing, you'll go far in life.
Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.
- Mike Judge


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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