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Jokes Quotes

I hope you find great value in these Quotes about Jokes from my large collection of inspirational quotes and motivational sayings.

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Friendship Relationship

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blonde.
- Dolly Parton

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I don't make jokes.
I just watch the government and report the facts.
- Will Rogers

 

One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did
not understand some of the jokes.
- Desi Arnaz

My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
- Carrot Top

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that
he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.
- Glen Campbell

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For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
- Laurence Sterne

You can't just yell jokes at people.
- David Cross

It's the teenage and university crowd,
so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour.
- Keenen Ivory Wayans

My dog was with me all the time.
I talked to my dog.
She was my best buddy.
I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think
I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
- Cathy Guisewite

The main jokes in this film are about big things,
love and life and zombies - we all get that.
- Simon Pegg

It wasn't until I became more confident with myself
and I put myself forward instead of the jokes;
at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
- Wanda Sykes

In polite society one laughs at all the jokes,
including the ones one has heard before.
- Frank Dane

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny,
but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air.
So just answer my questions.
Seriously.
- Rob Corddry

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen,
see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman

Everyone for the most part is really nice.
There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight.
You can't make everyone completely happy.
- Tina Yothers

The best ideas come as jokes.
Make your thinking as funny as possible.
- David Ogilvy

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.
- Brad Garrett

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes,
but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.
- Mose Allison

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.
- Martin Short

Writing for young children I find I often use particular
jokes with words and exaggerated,
funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex
stories for older children too.
- Margaret Mahy

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings.
You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
- David Letterman

A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
- Eugene Ionesco

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns.
I talk that way, so I write that way.
- Allan Sloan

I crack jokes and play games and that's really more
my nature than being cold.
- Bernhard Langer

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens,
but also that's alive: they respond,
they're getting the jokes,
they're with me.
And that' s been happening.
- Dan Hicks

Most jokes state a bitter truth.
- Larry Gelbart

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change.
They stay the way they were in the past.
Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved.
- Corey Feldman

Some of those more out-there jokes were written in
the wee hours of the morning.
Somehow, they remained funny the next day.
- Seth MacFarlane

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues
if there is some dissent,
some conflict.
- Mo Rocca

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers,
are the bond that keeps most families alive.
- Stella Benson

It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them.
For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes,
and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them.
- Brian P. Cleary

I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age,
telling the same joke again and again.
Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
- Simon Le Bon

The thing about all good horror movies is that the
fans expect a couple of inside jokes.
Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it,
but it was really fun.
- Margot Kidder

I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion,
where you're allowed to make jokes.
I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything.
- Boy George

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly -
constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour.
It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.
- Evan Dando

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
- Marilyn Monroe

If you want anything done well, do it yourself.
This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
- Bob Edwards

I like to hold the microphone cord like this,
I pinch it together, then I let it go,
then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
- Mitch Hedberg

I can tell jokes.
I can talk to the audience.
I can relax.
I can change my songs whenever I want.
I can change the tempos.
I can change the mood, because I'm in charge.
- Robert Goulet

Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting,
and there is no jovial companionship equal to that
where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
- Washington Irving

If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now,
we would probably forget you were there,
we'd just be cracking jokes.
It's like Beavis and Butthead.
- Nikki Sixx

I'm not a standup.
I don't really have jokes.
I don't have 10 minutes.
It took a while for me to realize this.
- Julia Sweeney

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
- Robert Frost

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day,
your mind starts going to strange places.
- Seth MacFarlane

Jokes are grievances.
- Marshall McLuhan

Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy.
He plays a lot of practical jokes.
- Ashley Tisdale

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school
because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
- Megan Fox

Don't make jokes about food.
- David Lean

I don't like jokes in speeches.
I do like wit and humor.
A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
- James Humes

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer.
A comic tells bad jokes.
- Sandra Bernhard

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes,
the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
- John Lasseter

I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes.
I want my life to mean something.
- Steve Harvey

Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able
to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before.
We can actually finish jokes.
- Aries Spears

A serious and good philosophical work could be written
consisting entirely of jokes.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd,
at times - maybe some would say dirty -
jokes.
But in jest.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar

All the jokes in my films, the comedy,
they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
- Yahoo Serious

Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely
turn their backs on their historical dishes,
no matter how many jokes they might have to endure.
- Nick Clooney

Comedy, at least the way I write comedy,
is just drama with jokes.
- Rob Walton

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use,
from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.
- Thomas Aquinas

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.
- Dylan Moran

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
- Zac Efron

Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.
- Jim Fowler

I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character,
the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes.
- Neil LaBute

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show.
People generally talk the way they talk in life if
you were in this particular situation.
- Larry David

You can trust a Neil Simon script.
Every dot.
Every dash; that pause means something.
He takes all the jokes out, practically.
- Hector Elizondo

People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off.
- Sanaa Lathan

I love life in spite of all that mars it.
I love friendship, jokes and laughter.
- Tahar Ben Jelloun


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