Stop Anger Before Anger Stops You

7 Secrets for Coping With Your Anger

by Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being angry is as close as a human being can come to experiencing hell on earth. - jlh

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced - some of us only occasionally, some almost daily. Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not. We will always have expectations, and those expectations will often be unmet.

Disappointment is the principle cause of anger. When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame. Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger. Anger is always directed at someone - possibly God or the non-specific they, but some animate entity.

You've told yourself a hundred times that you aren't going to get angry - really angry - ever again, but wham, you start to feel that telltale heat, locked shoulders, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Someone has just done something really awful and you are angry at them. What now?

Here are my 7 Secrets to Stop Anger before Anger Stops You:

1. Recognize when you are angry: It may not immediately occur to you that you are angry. You know that you have been wronged, and you can see everyone around you take a step back, but especially if you are really angry, it may take a while to gain the clarity to acknowledge your anger. Anger clouds perception and thinking, so make a special effort to spot it early and put it into words, "I am angry."

2. Breathe deeply: Concentrate on taking slow deep breaths. Sometimes this is all it takes to break out of anger and gain clarity on the issue. At other times, breathing deeply is just a beginning, but it paves the way for the rest of the secrets.

3. Focus your anger: Get clear what you are angry about and who you are angry at. Talk to yourself, "I am angry at Joe because he ..." Don't let your anger expand onto innocent bystanders, especially those trying to help calm you down. Don't refocus your anger onto everything that Joe has ever done or failed to do.

4. Remember that you are in charge: Anger is an expression of frustration and helplessness. Remember that you always have options - you can design your own life. No one can steal your happiness - unless you let them.

5. Look for the silver lining: There is a silver lining to every disappointment. Your boss fired you and you are furious. Probably it was a blessing. Now you have the opportunity to get a better job that you really enjoy.

6. Consider forgiveness: Angry and happy don't mix. Flush out the angry, and the happy has a place to put down roots. Forgive everyone for everything in order to give anger and resentment a chance to fade. Forgive and you can become happy. Forgiving is not a gift to someone else - Forgiving is our gift to ourselves - a great gift - the gift of happiness.

7. Accept that Life is NOT "Supposed to be Fair": Know that there is no single way that life is "supposed" to be. Demanding that life meet our expectations is a sure fire recipe for a miserable existence. Life is a game with no rules. Life just happens to us regardless of our best intentions. To choose happiness, be open to receiving whatever life throws at you - with Gratitude. Have NO Expectations of life.

Stop Anger Before Anger Stops You is adapted from "secret" #24 of Jonathan's book 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love.

100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love

Finding Happiness Despite Life's Roadblocks

by Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You can live the life you love - even in the face of the most challenging circumstances. While sometimes it may appear that life throws more obstacles in your path than you can handle, you can always choose to be happy. Yes, you are that powerful.

This book would be a very special present for friends and family.

The regular price is a very reasonable $12.95, and I am offering you a discount code to receive an additional discount of 25% to bring your cost under $10 for each copy.

Use discount code 4GY92RQ9 for a 25% discount when you order 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love directly from my publisher TODAY. If you prefer, you can order 100 Secrets from Amazon in Kindle as well as paperback format.

The "secrets" include...

• 1 - Put Your Faith in Attitude, Not Circumstances
• 4 - Persevere - Happiness is Not Always an Easy Choice
• 6 - Give the Gift of Happiness to Your Friends and Family
• 11 - Choose the Purpose of Your Life
• 24 - Stop Anger Before It Stops You
• 36 - Consider How You Want to be Remembered
• 39 - Create Good Endings - They Precede Good Beginnings
• 41 - Put Your Dreams Into Action
• 42 - Gather Strength From Life's Storms
• 44 - Have Gratitude for ALL of Life
• 45 - Be Open to Receiving Unlimited Abundance
• 56 - Give and Receive Love and Compassion
• 57 - Look for the Best in People
• 67 - Make Peace with Your Past through Forgiveness
• 70 - Learn the #1 Secret of Great Relationships
• 77 - Find Happiness Beyond the Grief of Divorce
• 88 - Begin the Practice of a Silent Daily Walk
• 90 - Know That Life is NOT SUPPOSED to be Fair
• 100 - Feel Unity with Spirit and All Creation

If you want to look before you buy, you can view or download a pdf file at 100-secrets-preview.pdf that includes the Table of Contents and eight of the "secrets" so you can see the 100 secrets and sample some of them.

Use discount code 4GY92RQ9 for a 25% discount and order 100 Secrets for Living a Life You Love direct from my publisher.

Today is Your Day to Dance Lightly with Life.  It Really Is.
      - Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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