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Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
by Robert Orben

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

Related topics: Cynical Funny

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
- Robert Orben

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
- Robert Orben

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list
of the richest people in America.
If I'm not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben

 

Never raise your hand to your children -
it leaves your midsection unprotected.
- Robert Orben

Quit worrying about your health.
It will go away.
- Robert Orben

Washington is a place where politicians don't know
which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
- Robert Orben

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Older people shouldn't eat health food,
they need all the preservatives they can get.
- Robert Orben

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we
have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
- Robert Orben

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me,
but deep down I know that's not true.
Some of the smaller countries are neutral.
- Robert Orben

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes
list of the richest people in America.
If I'm not there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.
- Robert Orben

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.
- Robert Orben

If you can laugh together, you can work together.
- Robert Orben

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great
and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
- Robert Orben

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat.
Sometimes it's filled with wisdom.
Sometimes it's filled with feet.
- Robert Orben

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation
but would like it to keep in touch.
- Robert Orben

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems:
back taxes,
back rent, back auto payments.
- Robert Orben

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.
- Robert Orben

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.
- Robert Orben

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
- Robert Orben

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States.
Ask any Indian.
- Robert Orben

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl.
It said, 'Take my heart!
Take my arms!
Take my lips!' Which is just like her.
Keeping the best part for herself.
- Robert Orben

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors,
they'd bust it to Corporal!
- Robert Orben

Inflation is bringing us true democracy.
For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities
are selling at the same price.
- Robert Orben

Planned obsolescence is not really a new concept.
God used it with people.
- Robert Orben

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it
weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
- Robert Orben

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'
- Robert Orben

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement
speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical
caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
- Robert Orben

Time flies.
It's up to you to be the navigator.
- Robert Orben

Don't think of it as failure.
Think of it as time-released success.
- Robert Orben

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations:
fight or flee.
In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative;
fight,
flee - or laugh.
- Robert Orben

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

There are no facts, only interpretations.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again,
but expecting different results.
- Rita Mae Brown, also attributed to Einstein

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell

Change what you see,
by changing how you see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin

Anger is like a thorn in the heart.
- Yiddish Proverb

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Forgiveness is an act of self-love and respect.
- don Miguel Ruiz


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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