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Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. ...
by H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Related topics: Funny Cynical Romantic Love

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

 

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

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The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy,
but that it is a bore.
It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
- H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
- H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
- H. L. Mencken

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

War will never cease until babies begin to come into
the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;
as for me,
I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
- H. L. Mencken

We are here and it is now.
Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
- H. L. Mencken

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
- H. L. Mencken

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
- H. L. Mencken

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink
worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
- H. L. Mencken

I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.
- H. L. Mencken

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon;
woman,
that she was born so long ago.
- H. L. Mencken

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker,
but simply because I detest the sort of people who
go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
- H. L. Mencken

As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
- H. L. Mencken

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia -
to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
- H. L. Mencken

Poetry has done enough when it charms,
but prose must also convince.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe in only one thing: liberty;
but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
- H. L. Mencken

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure
he is one of God's children,
but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
- H. L. Mencken

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence
and yet keep both ears to the ground.
- H. L. Mencken

Every normal man must be tempted, at times,
to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
and begin slitting throats.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is also a form of worship.
It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
- H. L. Mencken

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes
sports hates common sense.
- H. L. Mencken

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
- H. L. Mencken

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
- H. L. Mencken

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
- H. L. Mencken

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.
- H. L. Mencken

Unquestionably, there is progress.
The average American now pays out twice as much in
taxes as he formerly got in wages.
- H. L. Mencken

Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.
- H. L. Mencken

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as
wise as the average woman of forty-eight.
- H. L. Mencken

Every man is his own hell.
- H. L. Mencken

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
- H. L. Mencken

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
- H. L. Mencken

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage,
concludes that it will also make better soup.
- H. L. Mencken

Women have simple tastes.
They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a dead-end street.
- H. L. Mencken

Let's not burn the universities yet.
After all, the damage they do might be worse.
- H. L. Mencken

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty
is a kind of slander on the poor.
- H. L. Mencken

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately
in the palpably not true.
It is the chief occupation of mankind.
- H. L. Mencken

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth
when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
- H. L. Mencken

Injustice is relatively easy to bear;
what sting is justice.
- H. L. Mencken


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