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H.L. Mencken Quotes and Sayings

I hope you find great value in these Quotes by H.L. Mencken from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

Related topics: Wisdom Open Opinion Perspective

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

 

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken

War will never cease until babies begin to come into
the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
- H. L. Mencken

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Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
- H. L. Mencken

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
- H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;
as for me,
I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
- H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy,
but that it is a bore.
It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone,
and (b) that is not true.
- H. L. Mencken

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
- H. L. Mencken

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one
lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
- H. L. Mencken

Every normal man must be tempted, at times,
to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
and begin slitting throats.
- H. L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being
good at billiards or golf.
- H. L. Mencken

We are here and it is now.
Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
- H. L. Mencken

It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion;
it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
- H. L. Mencken

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
- H. L. Mencken

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their
marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
- H. L. Mencken

Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.
- H. L. Mencken

A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of,
with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in.
- H. L. Mencken

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
- H. L. Mencken

Poetry has done enough when it charms,
but prose must also convince.
- H. L. Mencken

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
- H. L. Mencken

It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe in only one thing: liberty;
but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
- H. L. Mencken

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely.
It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
- H. L. Mencken

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
- H. L. Mencken

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
- H. L. Mencken

Women have simple tastes.
They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
- H. L. Mencken

All government, of course, is against liberty.
- H. L. Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
- H. L. Mencken

The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought
is its massive proof that God is a bore.
- H. L. Mencken

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon;
woman,
that she was born so long ago.
- H. L. Mencken

Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women
that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.
- H. L. Mencken

A society made up of individuals who were all capable
of original thought would probably be unendurable.
- H. L. Mencken

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence
and yet keep both ears to the ground.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want,
and deserve to get it good and hard.
- H. L. Mencken

Unquestionably, there is progress.
The average American now pays out twice as much in
taxes as he formerly got in wages.
- H. L. Mencken

All men are frauds.
The only difference between them is that some admit it.
I myself deny it.
- H. L. Mencken

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and
free than Christianity has made them good.
- H. L. Mencken

If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me
and have thought to please my ghost,
forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
- H. L. Mencken

There is always an easy solution to every problem -
neat,
plausible, and wrong.
- H. L. Mencken


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