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The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
by Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

Related topics: Positive Life Human-Nature Psychology Inspirational Wisdom Happiness Attitude

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall PHOTO

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

 

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I am two with nature.
- Woody Allen

Basically my wife was immature.
I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
- Woody Allen

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Why does man kill? He kills for food.
And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
- Woody Allen

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
- Woody Allen

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

If my films make one more person miserable,
I'll feel I have done my job.
- Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

I will not eat oysters.
I want my food dead.
Not sick.
Not wounded.
Dead.
- Woody Allen

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
- Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,'
probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
- Woody Allen

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
- Woody Allen

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
- Woody Allen

I don't think my parents liked me.
They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
- Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
I want to achieve it through not dying.
- Woody Allen

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
- Woody Allen

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
- Woody Allen

I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I
really want to do is French-kiss her.
- Woody Allen

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action.
They rented out my room.
- Woody Allen

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know.
Kissinger taught there.
- Woody Allen

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get
the money to make it into a concept,
and later turn it into an idea.
- Woody Allen

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

There are worse things in life than death.
Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
- Woody Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over.
I was either in love or I had smallpox.
- Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have much fun.
The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
- Woody Allen

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
- Woody Allen

In California, they don't throw their garbage away -
they make it into TV shows.
- Woody Allen

Marriage is the death of hope.
- Woody Allen

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely.
Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes,
comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
- Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
- Woody Allen

Some guy hit my fender, and I told him,
'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
- Woody Allen

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
- Woody Allen

I have bad reflexes.
I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
- Woody Allen

My luck is getting worse and worse.
Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
- Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say,
lettered?
- Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience,
but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
- Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering -
and it's all over much too soon.
- Woody Allen

I believe there is something out there watching us.
Unfortunately, it's the government.
- Woody Allen

If you're not failing every now and again,
it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
- Woody Allen

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
- Woody Allen

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
- Woody Allen

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception.
I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
- Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion
dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
- Woody Allen

I had a terrible education.
I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
- Woody Allen

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.
- Woody Allen


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 


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