I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Related topics: Cynical Cute Whimsey
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
Anger is like a thorn in the heart.
- Yiddish Proverb
Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain
A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher
If I try to be like him, who will be like me?
- Yiddish proverb
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden
Find your balance and stand with it.
Find your song and sing it out.
Find your cadence and let it appear like a dance.
Find the questions that only you know how to ask and
The answers that you are content to not know.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
People are like stained glass windows,
they sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
but when darkness sets in their true beauty
is revealed only if there is a light from within.
- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Just stop it. Seriously.
Whatever it is. Just stop it.
If only for an hour, a day, a week.
Stop doing it long enough to get a glimpse
of what the change would actually look like.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou
Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living
In better conditions.
- Hafiz
Man's enemies are not demons, but human beings like himself.
- Lao Tzu
An overfull calendar, like an overfull stomach,
is a consequence of taking on too much.
Commit, and eat, in moderation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Football is like life - it requires perseverance,
self-denial, hard work, sacrifice,
dedication and respect for authority.
- Vince Lombardi
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
- The Buddha
Like an Eagle, May You Always Soar
High Above the Troubles of the World.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige
We cling to our own point of view,
as though everything depended on it.
Yet our opinions have no permanence;
like autumn and winter, they gradually pass away.
- Zhuangzi
Wealth, like happiness, is never attained when sought after directly.
It comes as a by-product of providing a useful service.
- Henry Ford
What if we just acted like everything was easy?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Worrying is like a rocking chair,
it gives you something to do,
but it gets you nowhere.
- Glenn Turner
Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
- Khalil Gibran
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
We are most like God when we forgive.
- Anonymous
We are formed and molded by our thoughts.
Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts
give joy when they speak or act.
Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.
- The Buddha
This time, like all times, is a very good one,
if we but know what to do with it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Act the way you'd like to be
and soon you'll be the way you act.
- Leonard Cohen
Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
Dance like no one is watching,
love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like no one is listening.
Live life like it's heaven on earth.
- Anonymous (various attributions and alternate phrasings)
Well, I don't know what will happen now.
We've got some difficult days ahead.
But it doesn't matter with me now.
Because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind. Like any man,
I would like to live a long life.
Longevity has its place.
But I'm not concerned about that now.
I just want to do God's will.
And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain.
And I've looked over.
And I've seen the promised land.
I may not get there with you.
But I want you to know tonight, that we,
as a people, will get to the promised land.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Success has a simple formula:
do your best, and people may like it.
- Sam Ewing
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare
Life is like a box of chocolates.
- Forrest Gump
Life is like a game of cards.
The hand you are dealt is determinism;
the way you play it is free will.
- Jawaharlal Nehru
Time expands like a brightly colored balloon
when it is filled with joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The unknown is like the darkness of a cave -
it can be illuminated by the brief light
of one adventurer's small candle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Like Beauty, Joy and Suffering are
in the Eye of the Beholder.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People that seem so glorious are all show;
underneath they are like everyone else.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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