Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Related topics: Funny Marriage
Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West 
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.
- Mae West
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Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West
Don't marry a man to reform him -
that's what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix
When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell
For a happy marriage,
love and accept your spouse just the way they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant
A dream you dream alone is only a dream.
A dream you dream together becomes reality.
- John Lennon
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother
Gift the love of your life with undistracted,
untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
The fewer secrets you have, the happier you will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
My Loved One
You are my ground and you are my rainbow.
You are my butterfly and you are my ecstasy.
You are the start of my journeys and always my destination.
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
There is no substitute for the comfort supplied
by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
- Iris Murdoch
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood
Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors.
It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you.
Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do.
Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave,
and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.
Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony
When people get married because they think
it's a long-time love affair,
they'll be divorced very soon,
because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
- Joseph Campbell
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
My husband melted my heart the day he asked me,
"Can I participate in your wonder?"
In whose wonder do you get to participate today?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
- Larry David
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner
Love your spouse as they are,
and forgive them everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
If you have been divorced, you know it hurts -
especially if your marriage had lasted many years.
Whatever the circumstances of your relationship,
and whatever the nature of its ending,
there is always grief and regret -
perhaps regret over the ending,
or perhaps regret over not ending the relationship sooner -
or perhaps both.
Nonetheless, move past the grief and regret.
No matter how painful, divorce, like all endings,
opens the door to new beginnings.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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