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Think of how stupid the average person is,
by George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Funny

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

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I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

 

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every thought we think is creating our future.
- Louise L. Hay

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino

Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Excellence is the result of
caring more than others think wise,
risking more than other's think safe,
dreaming more than others think practical,
and expecting more than others think possible.
- Anonymous

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus

Whether you think you can,
or think you can't,
you're right.
- Henry Ford

Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on Earth.
Take time to love and be loved.
It is a God-given privilege.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
- Anonymous

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation,
because your character is what you really are,
while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
- John Wooden

Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain

You must do the thing that you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.
- Ram Dass

You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie

Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

We are shaped by our thoughts;
we become what we think.
When the mind is pure, joy follows
like a shadow that never leaves.
- The Buddha

We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

If you think you can,
or you think you can't,
you're probably right.
- Henry Ford

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
- Anne Frank

You can do what you have to do,
and sometimes you can do it
even better than you think you can.
- Jimmy Carter

What we think, we become.
- The Buddha

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie




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