I hope you find great value in these Quotes by Groucho Marx from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.
Humor is reason gone mad.
- Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
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Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
- Groucho Marx
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
A willingness to laugh at itself is what distinguishes
a compassionate religion from a cult.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- Mark Twain
A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey
One can never speak enough of the virtues,
the dangers, the power of shared laughter.
- Francoise Sagan
So long as you have courage and a sense of humor,
it is never too late to start life afresh.
- Freeman Dyson
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
Good humor is the health of the soul,
sadness is its poison.
- Lord Chesterfield
Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho
A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill
If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
Few people know how to take a walk.
The qualifications are endurance,
plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature,
good humor, vast curiosity, good speech,
good silence and nothing too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Seriousness is a sickness; your sense of humor
makes you more human, more humble.
The sense of humor - according to me -
is one of the most essential parts of religiousness.
- Osho
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
- Alexander Pope
Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
In truth, politeness is artificial good humor,
it covers the natural want of it,
and ends by rendering habitual a substitute
nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
- Thomas Jefferson
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Change what you see,
by changing how you see.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again,
but expecting different results.
- Rita Mae Brown, also attributed to Einstein
Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)
We don't see things as they are,
we see things as we are.
- Anais Nin
Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow
Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz
If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey
Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden
Happiness cannot thrive within the prison of obligation
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The purpose of our lives is to be happy.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell
He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
- Lao Tzu
Beware the Rattlesnake of the Mind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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