Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
Related topics: Funny
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
Humor is reason gone mad.
- Groucho Marx
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
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Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
- Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx
Our loved ones -
whether by blood, by marriage, or by choice -
are delicate treasures.
If we hold them too close, they break -
as a butterfly would.
By honoring and enjoying
the freedom of our loved ones,
we gain our own freedom.
Have the courage to trust that
the beautiful butterflies of your life
will return - or not - as life intends.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
When you make the sacrifice in marriage,
you're sacrificing not to each other
but to unity in a relationship.
- Joseph Campbell
Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix
For a happy marriage,
love and accept your spouse just the way they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A dream you dream alone is only a dream.
A dream you dream together becomes reality.
- John Lennon
Gift the love of your life with undistracted,
untelevisioned, unhurried attentiveness.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant
True love means putting the other person before yourself,
and honoring the relationship above all.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The fewer secrets you have, the happier you will be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother
I used to tell my husband that,
if he could make me "understand" something,
it would be clear to all the other people in the country.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
There is no substitute for the comfort supplied
by the utterly taken-for-granted relationship.
- Iris Murdoch
Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
A divorce is like an amputation:
you survive it, but there's less of you.
- Margaret Atwood
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
Consider being more acceptive of your partner's behaviors.
It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you.
Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do.
Try setting aside your own rules for how they should behave,
and adopt a live-and-let-live attitude.
Your relationship will become stronger and happier if you do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
You can learn how to let go of the past.
Whether you have experienced a break up
with someone you cared for deeply,
whether death has taken a loved one,
whether you have had a feud with a friend or family member,
whether you have lost a job.
Move on and let go.
Life can be joyful and rewarding again.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
My Loved One
You are my ground and you are my rainbow.
You are my butterfly and you are my ecstasy.
You are the start of my journeys and always my destination.
You are my home - the place to which I always return.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr
My husband melted my heart the day he asked me,
"Can I participate in your wonder?"
In whose wonder do you get to participate today?
- Mary Anne Radmacher
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates
Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
- Larry David
Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you.
- Mike Murdock
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin
When people get married because they think
it's a long-time love affair,
they'll be divorced very soon,
because all love affairs end in disappointment.
But marriage is a recognition of a spiritual identity.
- Joseph Campbell
A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony
Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West
Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer
A Great Relationship is the Dance of Two Great Lives.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The greatest roadblock to a great relationship
is trying to force a partner to change through bribes or threats.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
By all means marry.
If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
and that is a good thing for any man.
- Socrates
Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken
There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl
No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous
Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous
Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue.
If we have enough friends, we may go on for years,
intending to leave, talking about leaving -
instead of actually getting up and leaving.
- Erica Jong
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland
Love your spouse as they are,
and forgive them everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?
- Sarah Jessica Parker
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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