I hope you find great value in these Quotes by George Carlin from my large collection of motivational and inspirational quotes and sayings.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin
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Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin
Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin
The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin
If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha 
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Every thought we think is creating our future.
- Louise L. Hay
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
- Og Mandino
Truth is not defined by
how many people believe something.
Ask. Question. Think.
Decide - for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind
We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung
If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France
The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard
The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz
The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach
The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein
Excellence is the result of
caring more than others think wise,
risking more than other's think safe,
dreaming more than others think practical,
and expecting more than others think possible.
- Anonymous
To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin
Don't marry the person you think you can live with;
marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
- James C. Dobson
Whether you think you can,
or think you can't,
you're right.
- Henry Ford
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
I cannot teach anybody anything.
I can only make them think.
- Socrates
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart for so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together all the time.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
You become what you think about.
- Earl Nightingale
Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Happiness is when
what you think,
what you say,
and what you do
are in harmony.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Words make you think a thought.
Music makes you feel a feeling.
A song makes you feel a thought.
- E. Y. Harburg
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
With every rising of the sun
Think of your life as just begun.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Sometimes I think we're alone.
Sometimes I think we're not.
In either case, the thought is staggering.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Inaction breeds doubt and fear.
Action breeds confidence and courage.
If you want to conquer fear,
do not sit home and think about it.
Go out and get busy.
- Dale Carnegie
We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts.
- J. W. Fulbright
I think that somehow, we learn who we really are
and then live with that decision.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
To change who you are,
change who you think you are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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